Finding Who You Lost
by ilioveharrypotter
Summary: They had been happy, so, so happy. Engaged. Then she had left. Vanished. And he was left behind. Four years later, Hermione returns with a story that no one could have imagined. She brings with her new friends, but is everything as it seems? Could Ron forgive her? Can be seen as true to Epilogue but could also be on it's own.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

**Well this is my new story, I know that I should be finishing Heroes Again but this story has been stuck in my head for months and I couldn't get out, but don't worry I will definitely get Heroes Again done, I am off next week for a full week so I intend to get it done then.**

**This is just the prologue, so the actually chapters will be far longer, but I would really like to know what you think of it. It will be much better than Heroes Again, it is all planned out and has a much, much, much better plot because I am not really happy with the way I done Heroes Again but I learned a lot. Sorry for the long Author's Note. Please leave a review.**

The thud of the rain vibrated off every inch of the aeroplane, the fog outside the windows creating the illusion of a late night flight, yet the bright beams of light that busted through every so often showed that it was, in fact, quite early in the day.

As the muggle stewardess walked down through the aisles of the plane, she stopped abruptly at the sight before her. Seven friends, four gathered around the other two's seats. Four men, three women. The stewardess almost told the standing customers that they ought to be in their seats, and yet she couldn't bring herself to open her mouth and announce her presence.

There was something about these people, she decided. They were not a set of people that she would have put together, as friends, because everything about them screamed opposites. There seemed to be a large age range, the eldest (a man) looked to be in his mid-thirties, while the youngest (a woman) looked about 20. It wasn't just that, though, that struck the stewardess as odd.

It was that she could _see_ a story bubbling under the surface, a darkness, a troubled past and she couldn't make herself turn away.

The first man looked about 28. He seemed effortlessly cool. His hair was brown, sticking up in all directions, and his eyes were a calm blue. He seemed very comfortable in his surroundings, completely transfixed on his friends but he would glance around him every couple of minutes, like he was expecting an attack.

The man beside him was around the same age, but nothing alike. The stewardess thought that they looked like the popular kid in school, and the geek standing alongside each other. This man had a dirty blonde coloured hair, he seemed smart, book smart, but his posture was so stiff and straight, a person still unsure of himself.

The next man, however, was definitely sure of himself. Black curly hair, big brown eyes and dimples only added to his cheeky, boy like charm. He was the youngest of the men, maybe the middle age of the group (around 24), and had that cute, infectious smile that made everyone around him laugh. He was closest person to the two in the seats, and reminded the stewardess of her brothers, protective and endearing.

The last man was definitely the eldest of the friends. He had brown hair, although his hairline was definitely receding, and had eyes that had seen a lot. He was wise and inviting, the stewardess wondered how a man of his age came to be traveling with a group in their twenties, for it was easy to tell that none of them were related.

The three women were quite similar in age, and yet everything about them seemed to clash.

The first, the youngest she had noticed earlier, had sleek black hair that reached half-way down her back. She was average looking in looks, very unassuming and had a shy posture. She didn't look smart, but definitely not stupid. She was to the edge of the group, but it didn't seem to bother the young woman that she wasn't in the thick of the action. She was observant, taking in everything around her, particularly her friends. The stewardess noticed the secret smiles the black haired girl was sending to the person she had dubbed the "geek" earlier.

This was in complete contrast to the second woman. This woman had vibrant green eyes; she was curvy and had straight, blonde hair, which reached her shoulders. She seemed bubbly, the kind of person that would have sat at the back of the classroom and laughed at everyone, and everything but definitely not in a mean way. She had an optimistic aura. She was interacting with everyone in the group, she seemed to draw attention, but not in an intentional way. She was one of the two in the seats.

The third woman intrigued the stewardess the most. She had brown hair, styled in a pixie cut that seemed so popular amongst the young people today, and yet the stewardess knew that this wasn't intentional. She seemed to run her hands through her short hair frequently, in a way that suggested she was used to having a lot more hair. She had brown eyes, intelligent and kind, and yet somehow empty looking. She was beautiful, in an effortless way. Despite how forward the girl beside her seemed, the stewardess knew that it was this young woman that the group were listening to, the reason why they were gathered around the two seats. She seemed to be able to command the attention of a room without even trying. She had been talking the whole time, quite seriously, and the group hadn't uttered a word when she was speaking, she got the kind of respect one only got when they were surrounded by people who loved them.

Individually, they all looked quite normal. But when they were all beside each other, there was just something about them. They were people that you could _tell _had done things that the stewardess could only imagine. They were so in sync, all dressed in black clothing that looked just a little too big for them. They were intimidating, and yet when the stewardess looked at them she felt like she wanted to be a part of their group.

They looked quite cheerful at the moment, but something seemed a little too forced. Like there was more to this journey than met the eye.

"Ella!"

The stewardess jumped at the sound of her name.

"Oh, um, yes?" She said, trying to compose herself.

"We're almost at London, can you go up and help Chantelle?" Her manager said, "What are those lot doing?"

Ella followed her line of sight and realized she was talking about the group of friends.

"No idea," she answered.

"Excuse me? Could you all please return to your seats please, we will be landing shortly?" Ella's manager said to the group.

They all looked quite irritated at having to move, particularly the curly haired, dimpled one, but they did move back to their seats. Ella reluctantly walked away from the people that intrigued her so much, her mind whirling with the possibilities of what their stories were.

oo00OO00oo

Hermione looked out the window distractedly, as her traveling companions scattered back to their seats. She fingered the ring that hung on a chain around her neck, her friends' company had been a distraction but now, that they were gone, she felt her nerves rushing back to her.

"So," Beth said, pulling Hermione from her thoughts, "How you doing? You haven't said much, except when bossing us around there now."

Hermione smiled at the gentle teasing she had grown accustomed to from Beth,

"Well, I can never get much in when you're here, can I?"

Beth grinned back at her, but quickly became serious again.

"Weird, isn't it? That we're going home. I mean, I know we always said we would get home, but…it's mad that it's actually happening, you know?"

Hermione nodded, she knew exactly what Beth meant, somewhere in the back of her mind she had never really believed that she would come home again.

"Yeah, I know." Hermione said, "How are you then, excited?"

"Of course," Beth smiled sadly, "I suppose I'm a little scared too, though. On one hand, I can't wait to see everyone again, but on the other hand…it's been four years and things change, I just hope that they haven't changed too much."

Hermione nodded, once again placing her hand on the ring around her neck. Beth followed this action with her eyes,

"I'm sure he'll be delighted to see you, I bet he missed you massively." She said comfortingly.

Hermione laughed a little, mostly to hide her doubt. He may have missed her, but she knew him, and she very much doubted that he was going to welcome her home with open arms. It had been 4 years.

The girls were silent for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Home. They were going home. Hermione smiled at the thought.

She wrapped the black zip up hoodie more tightly around herself as the plane began to descend. She had always hated this part of the flight. So close to the end, and yet not quite there.

"I still think we should have apparated. I hate these flights." Beth muttered, her eyes closed and her head leaning back on the seat.

"I don't think I have the energy to apparate to the front of the plane, never mind across countries." Hermione grinned wryly.

"I know, right? It's like the moment the mission was over, I am suddenly feeling knackered." Beth laughed. "I think that's what I'm most excited about, a nice long sleep in my own bed."

"I've definitely missed having a decent bed."

"Not the only thing involving a bed I've missed." Beth said.

Hermione rolled her eyes, and then they both burst out laughing. Leave it to Beth, Hermione thought. Their laughter was interrupted by the feeling of the plane landing on the ground; Hermione felt the butterflies in her stomach increasing as the plane slowed down.

"That was horrible!" Beth exclaimed, "I can't wait to get off this thing!"

"Then it will be a piece of cake right?"

Beth rolled her eyes,

"Don't be so pessimistic, it'll be fine." She dismissed.

The flight ended, Hermione noticed Beth let out a sigh of relief as they were told they could leave the plane, and she hide a small smile.

"Do you think we should wait on the others?" Beth asked, stretching on her toes to look over the heads of the crowd of people rushing to get off the plane.

"No, we'd never get out," Hermione answered, "Let's go down and get our baggage and then we can find them."

"Sure, let's go get the baggage that we could have fit in our pockets." Beth muttered.

Hermione ignored her, Beth just didn't grasp that a group of six traveling together with no luggage would seem suspicious.

The two descended the stairs leading out of the plane, Hermione briefly noted how the fear of heights had long subsided. She would never have thought that she would miss the busyness of London so much but Hermione found herself feeling very at home in the hectic airport, even the rain thrashing against the windows seemed comforting.

The duo made their way over to that baggage section as quickly as possible, Hermione found herself feeling slightly overwhelmed at the sheer mass of people, it had been a while since she was in a crowd of this size.

Hermione spotted her friends easily amongst the people searching for their baggage. They looked extremely out of place. She smiled a little as she watched them try and figure out what to do, Jake seemed to be taking charge and Hermione was surprised to see that he knew what to do.

"Coming?" Beth called to her, as she made her was to their friends.

Hermione quickly followed her, as she reached them she noticed that there seemed to be some kind of debate going on,

"-just think that we should do this properly." Jonathan was saying, ruffling his blonde hair as he did so.

"The hell with that! I haven't been home in years! We can do that tomorrow." Nate exclaimed, his black curls bouncing as he spoke.

"Chill, guys," Martin said, in his usual fatherly voice, "We will decide together, what do you think Hermione?"

"Oh, um, sorry Nate but I have orders to follow. We're supposed to go to the ministry first." Hermione answered, leaving out the part where she was glad that she had to go to the ministry because it cause her more time, before she had to face what she had left behind.

Nate looked crestfallen, but accepted her answer. Hermione smiled warmly at him, he had told her all about his large family and how much he had missed them.

"So, how'd you know how to work all this muggle stuff, then?" Beth asked Jake, clearly trying to change the subject.

"I dated a few muggle girls," Jake said, shrugging it off in his usual, blasé manner.

Ally rolled her eyes, flicking her black hair to the side,

"Of course," she said conversationally, "You know, I really feel sorry for those girls."

"How'd you know they didn't break my heart?" Jake demanded jokingly. Everyone laughed a little, the tension gone as they went into the familiar routine.

"So," Jonathan said, "Are we allowed to apparate to the ministry, or do we have to do that the muggle way too?"

"No, no, we can apparate." Hermione said, wishing that they could put this off a little longer.

All she really wanted to do was go back to her small, cramped flat that they had bought after saving for months and lie down. She wanted to see him, and just be with him and they could forget the fact that she hadn't been there in four years. She wished that she could just go home and things would be like they were before. But they wouldn't. He probably sold their little flat.

"It'll be fine," Nate said, swinging a brotherly arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah, let's go." She said.

Her fingers clasped tightly onto the ring around her neck. It would be fine. It had to be. She had waited, too long, for this moment. It couldn't go badly. She had missed Ron something terrible, after all.

**Songs for this chapter: "Home" by Phillip Phillips**


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I am actually really surprised at the amount of reviews I got for the first chapter (and delighted), so please review this chapter.**

**Also, one of the review said that there was a story really like this one the site, I'm kind of devastated because I thought I was being so original, but what can you do? If that person wants to tell me the name of the story then I'll take a look at it and try to make them more different. But, to be honest, this story is already planned out, and I can't change too much of the plot without it turning out badly. But I really don't want to have a story that's the same as someone else's, so I'll try and make them different of you let me know which story it is.**

Chapter 1

It was just so surreal. She was still struggling to believe that they had left that crappy bunker, and just hopped on an aeroplane and came home. Imagine, after 4 years of clinging onto the hope that she would one day get to come home, she was now absolutely terrified at the prospect.

She knew it was stupid, moronic actually, for her to be so terrified of the one thing she had yearned fir in all her time away from home. But she was. The problem was probably that she had longed for it for so long. Through everything that had happened in the last few years, all the new horrifying experiences, the one thing that had kept her going, the one thing that had given her hope was that somebody, if all went well, she would get to go home.

She knew it was ridiculously cheesy but she had fantasises about how her return would go, how everyone would just be happy, not mad. Maybe she wasn't ready to let go of that dream at the moment.

Hermione looked up as the receptionist came back to them, the small of seven squashed onto the small sofa.

"Minister Shacklebolt said to go on in." The receptionist said.

Hermione noticed the curiosity in the woman's eyes, she quickly bowed her head as she and her friends approached the office. She doubted that anyone would actually recognise her with how she looked now, but she had learned never to take something for granted, never make silly mistakes.

As they crowded into the office Hermione noticed that it looked almost exactly the same as it had the last time she was there. The walls were lined with portraits, each one of them had their eyes on the group, watching their every movements. There was a mahogany wooden desk in the centre of the room, it was large and grand, and covered in stacks of parchment. The same thick, white and brown rug lay in front of the desk. With two chairs in front of the desk and a few sofas pushed up against the walls, with brown and orange cushions scattered over them carelessly. The room was spacious and gave the impression of wealth and power. The wall behind the desk was mostly taken up by a huge window, it showed the outside streets of London, with the sun splitting the sky and people rushing from place to place. Hermione swore it showed the exact same scene it did four years ago.

Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic, sat behind the desk. Outwardly, he appeared calm and composed but from knowing him personally, and learning to read people, Hermione could see shock, suspicion and nerves in his eyes. She wondered briefly how this must seem from his point of view, they had no contact with the ministry for so long and now they turned up in his office. She didn't find herself feeling too sympathetic to him though, after all this was mostly his doing.

"Well. This is certainly a surprise." Kingsley said, smiling at them, with the same calming voice Hermione remembered from her school days and yet it didn't have the calming effect it used to on her, "A good one, though."

Hermione nodded, but before she could answer, Martin spoke up from behind her,

"Bet you didn't expect this King, eh?" He laughed, although it seemed strained to her ears.

Hermione remembered Martin mentioning that he had gone through auror training with Kingsley.

"Definitely, I'm having a hard time believing this actually," Kingsley said, "If you don't mind I'd like to be absolutely sure that it is?"

Hermione nodded again, Kingsley's eyes rested on her before he spoke again,

"When were you first able to see thestrals?" He asked her.

"The night we rescued…Harry. I saw the thestral when you accidentally killed a Death Eater, we were paired up." Hermione answered.

The mention of Harry brought up a few emotions. She would get to see Harry soon, hopefully.

Kingsley nodded.

"I'm not really sure what to do. We had assumed you all dead, there hasn't been any contact in years."

She could feel the accusation he was sending their way. A fire shot through her, a need to protect and defend.

"Contacting the ministry would have given away our position, we couldn't do that." She answered heatedly, showing emotion for the first time since they had reached the ministry.

It was silent for a moment, the tension in the room was growing. She wondered if Kingsley could feel the accusation in her answer too. She saw Nate move closer to her out of the corner of her eye, and she was reminded of everyone else's presence.

Kingsley cleared his throat, "I can understand that." He said gently.

Some of the tension left, Hermione was just glad to have him acknowledge that sometimes ministry protocol didn't apply. When you see someone murdered before your eyes, ministry protocol doesn't apply.

"We thought you were all dead." He said again.

Hermione stiffened, she had expected this.

"Is this all of you?" Kingsley asked quickly, obviously scared of the answer.

"Yes," Jonathon said, stepping forward, "This is everyone."

"What happened?" Kingsley whispered.

Hermione got the impression that he was looking to get answers he had been searching for, for a long time. Hermione had never seen him like, she knew that he was thinking of the plan he had brought forward four years ago. A safe plan, the best way to handle the problem at hand. Efficient, effective and economic. It had crumbled before his eyes.

"We were attacked fairly early in, completely unprepared actually," Jake said, "We lost most of them then. The others happened over the years."

"How many died in the initial attack?" Kingsley asked.

"Nineteen."

Kingsley was silent for a moment. Taking it in.

Hermione looked around her, Martin was watching his old friend intently with concern in his eyes but Jake, Beth and Nate were glaring determinedly at him. Ally and Jonathon were whispering so silently to each other that Hermione would not have realized they were talking, had she not been looking at them.

"I'm going to need to get a clearer picture of what exactly-"

Kingsley was interrupted, as a memo came flying through the air, and landed on his desk. When Kingsley had finished reading the note he began to frown, and Hermione could have sworn that he looked at her for a fraction of a second before answering.

"Actually, that can wait for a few days I'm sure. In the meantime, I think it's best to have you all go to St. Mungos-"

"We're perfectly fine!"

"-no need-"

"…nothing wrong-"

Hermione supressed a laugh, at her friends' attempt to avoid the trip to the hospital.

"I'm sure there's not," Kingsley smiled, "Nevertheless, you have all been through a lot and it's best that we just check that no permanent damage has been done. I'll send you all to a private ward."

"What kind of check-up?" Beth asked nervously, Hermione had to admit that she didn't really like the sound of being poked and prodded by a healer either.

"Just a brief one."

"So we just go there now?" Jake asked.

"Yes, but if you tell the secretary there that you are from the Prevention of Potential Threats Department, then there will be a specific healer who will know what to do. That was all arranged beforehand." Kingsley trailed off.

"What about our families?" Nate said suddenly, "When do we get to see them?"

Hermione felt her stomach churn, a thrill of adrenaline going through her veins.

"That is where I am going to go now actually. It seems I have some very good news to deliver…and some explaining to do, apparently." Kingsley said.

Hermione tried to imagine having to tell a family that their relative was alive, when you were the one who would have said they were dead and she found that she didn't envy Kingsley one bit.

She realized with a jolt that Ron, Harry, her parents, her friends, the Weasleys…would have all thought she was dead. They might have spent time grieving and had now moved on. She almost wanted to tell Kingsley not to bother them with this news, but her selfish need to see them won in the end.

"Do they, um, do they know what we were doing?" Hermione said, unsure of what answer she wanted to her.

Kingsley looked very ashamed of himself, like a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar.

"The department we created was confidential," he began, "So, no. We did not think it was a good idea to tell your families the exact details of the mission. Of course most of them knew that you had signed up for something like this before you left."

Hermione noticed Kingsley avoiding her eyes, he was most likely trying to gloss over the fact that she had not actually _signed up_ for any of this.

"So you'll go see them? Straight away?" Ally said timidly, speaking for the first time. Hermione knew that being the youngest of the group, she had struggled a lot with missing her family.

Ally had only been 17 when they left, she wasn't even meant to have done so much as she did, she was mostly supposed to remain hide away from everything that was going on, but that just wasn't possible and Ally had to grow up quickly, in the same way Hermione had to during the war when she needed to be there for her boys.

Kingsley stared at Ally for a second, a look of sad recognition on his face, probably noticing that Ally had certainly grown up, she had lost the innocent and enthusiastic look that she had when she had first joined the team.

"Of course I will," he answered softly, "I'll bring them to the hospital, it shouldn't take more than a few hours."

Kinsley grabbed a piece of parchment and began scribbling something down, judging by the way he would glance up every few seconds, Hermione assumed that he was writing down what families he needed to see.

"You can all use my floo. It's probably best that your family get to see you all before this gets to the press."

oo00OO00oo

Hermione sat up rigidly on the hospital bed, the Healer beside her, casting spells every few seconds and recording something in his file. Hermione found it irritating how much notes he was taking, especially since he refused to tell her what he was writing down.

She smirked a little when Nate began making faces at the Healer. He was in the bed across from her and seemed to make it his personal mission to cheer everyone up. It wasn't really working. The mood had been quite dour between them all since the meeting in Kingsley's office. Everyone was absorbed in their own thoughts and feelings, and the anticipation to see their families was growing steadily.

Hermione knew that they all had their own stories. Martin had a wife, they had been married 9 years when he left but they never had any children, Hermione knew he was worried about how long he had left her alone, he seemed to be certain that she would still be waiting for him. Jake had been feeling down one night and asked Martin how he knew that he would have a wife to return to, Martin had frozen briefly but then said that his wife knew what his job was, and that there was always a chance of a long mission.

Nate came from a family of boys. He had 4 brothers, 2 were older and 2 were younger. His parents divorced but he had always seemed ok with it. Nate and his brothers had lived in a farmhouse in the countryside for all of their lives, his father lived there too, before the divorce. Nate had a close bond with his mother and missed her more than anything, he had never told her this but she could tell.

Beth was an only child, adored by her parents. She had lived in an apartment in London with her parents until she was 11, then she decided to go to Beauxbatons instead of Hogwarts and the family had moved to France. She had just broken up with her boyfriend when she left, Hermione had always assumed that Beth had joined the department to make a fresh start of some kind. Beth had always told Hermione that she intended on finding her ex-boyfriend when she got home but Hermione had the feeling that Beth was more interested in someone else now.

Jonathan had 2 sisters and a brother, he was the eldest. His parents had been murdered by death eater during the war, which prompted Jonathan to completely change his career path. He became an auror in America, where he was born. He had never really dealt with the death of his parents' death until their mission. Ally helped him heal. Hermione knew that Jonathan was desperate to see his younger siblings again.

Ally signed up for the department when she was straight out of Hogwarts, as an apprenticeship sort of thing, she had only been 17. She had one brother, and lived with him and her parents in a house quite like Hermione's growing up. Ally had never told her family exactly what her apprenticeship involved.

And Jake, well no one really knew. Sure, he had told them about his family. It was just him and his sister, along with their parents. He had come from somewhere in Ireland initially, and had gone to Hogwarts. Everyone was aware there seemed to be something missing from his story, he had never talked about the few years leading up to his departure and the only thing he ever said he missed from home was women. But after hinting time and time again, the group had finally given up and accepted that Jake wanted to keep something private.

Looking around at her friends Hermione was glad that they were all in the same boat together. They had supported each other for so long waiting for this moment, they all knew what being reunited with their families meant to each of them. It was amazing how far this group had come. She remembered first meeting them, they were all so awkward around each other and now, they were practically family. She smiled, she hoped that the bonds they had made would never go away.

The healer checking on her left the room, and Hermione sighed with relief.

"I wouldn't look so happy," Nate grinned, "There might actually be something wrong with you and he's going to get potions."

"Shut up." Hermione rolled her eyes. "How do you know there's not something wrong with you?"

"Cause I'm perfect." Nate grinned.

"Actually I think you're both fine, but I did notice the healer looking at Ally a little weirdly." Jake called from his bed at the end of the ward.

"What? No! Are you serious?" Ally panicked, while everyone laughed at her. She really hated hospitals.

"Oh leave her alone, stop trying to freak her out." Jonathan said.

"Actually, if Jake wanted to freak her out he could just have asked her what she thinks her parents reaction will be to you two going out." Beth grinned wickedly.

Jonathan and Ally both turned a rosy pink, while Hermione smiled at them. It had certainly been surprising when, two years ago, a 19 year old Ally and a 26 year old Jonathan, had announced, rather sheepishly, that they had begun seeing each other but it had worked out so far, personally Hermione thought they were great together.

Nate and Jake roared with laughter at the blushing duo. While Martin looked over at Hermione, and rolled his eyes at the others.

Hermione felt herself relax a little, this is what she need. Pointless banter, between her friends. It was how they muddled through.

"Mature, guys, really mature." Ally said scornfully, although since she was hiding her face it lacked the nonchalant effect she was going for.

The friends were silent. Hermione looked around the room they were placed in. It was a reasonably big room with seven beds, three on one side and four on the other. Hermione was at the farthest end, with Ally beside her, then Jonathan. Facing Hermione was Nate, then Beth, then Jake and finally, Martin beside the door. She was reminded of the way they had been living they past few years, and wondered if it was automatic they way they formed the same format they did when they were sleeping in their bunker. Probably.

Hermione lay back down on the bed, this was probably the first time in her life that she ever thought a hospital bed was comforting but she really liked the bed at the moment. They were all still on their own clothes, she was grateful that they hadn't had to put on hospital gowns. She noticed, for the first time, that the clothes she was wearing were quite big on her. Did she really lose that much weight? She would have to get some new clothes, she wondered what kind of robes were in style at the moment.

God, what was wrong with her? She was about to see everyone again and the only thing she could think about was what clothes she would wear tomorrow. Maybe there was something wrong with her after all.

"So," Ally began, breaking the comfortable silence, "Is anyone else terrified?"

Hermione looked up, interested in the answers.

Beth was smiling at Ally, probably glad that she had brought up the subject. Beth loved to talk about things, she had always been told by her parents that the best way to deal with a problem was to talk about it, and she had practically forced openness into their group.

"Yeah," Beth answered, "I just can't believe it. We're home, guys, this is it."

They all looked around at each other, unstoppable grins forming on their faces. It was a moment, one of those moments, where everything around you seemed to stop and you just got to take in what was around you. Who was there. What you were doing. Why you were there. They would always remember what was about to happen next, for whatever reason, and they were all going through it together. This was the moment that they had all thought about, that they had all talked about and this was what they had been working towards.

"We done it, then." Jake smiled, "I have to admit, I wasn't sure we would for a while there."

Hermione nodded, she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. She still couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't actually over, she hoped that would pass with time.

"I think we all thought that for a while," Martin said.

"Not me, I had complete faith in our abilities." Nate grinned.

Hermione shook her head at him,

"Sure, what about the time you nearly got both of us killed because you tried to run off?" She demanded, smiling slightly.

"I was testing you."

"Sure." She scoffed.

Nate looked like he was about to retaliate but before he could the doors opened again, and the same healer from earlier walked in.

"Ok, we've done the regular tests and everything seems to be fine. There's been quite a lot of trauma inflicted on both your minds, and your bodies though," he said, not looking up from the parchment in his hand, "so I am going to give you all some Dreamless Sleep potion, I think that would be the best way to guarantee that you all get enough rest."

Hermione nodded at the healer, although he couldn't see her.

She began to mull over his words. Trauma? Well there was no prize for guessing where that trauma had come from, but still, she had assumed that they were all ok, at least physically, since nothing had appeared wrong. Maybe that was a little naïve.

Another healer came rushing into the room and Hermione was shocked to see Kingsley following behind her.

"Healer Jones, Minister Shacklebolt would like a word with the patients, if you don't mind." The healer said.

Healer Jones looked like he did indeed mind but decided not to argue with the Minister of Magic, and he quickly left the room.

"Well," said Kingsley, "I've just got to mention a few things that I should have cleared up earlier."

"Like what?" Nate demanded, "Are our families not here?"

"Of course they are," Kingsley smiled, "But I needed to make you aware of a few things. Firstly, you know that they department was a secret organization?"

They all nodded, Hermione could see where this was going.

"And you remember signing a contract," Kingsley continued, "Saying that you would not tell anyone the specifics of what your job was, unless you received permission?"

They all nodded again.

"Well, I have to inform you that that contract still stands."

"What?" Beth shouted, looking outraged.

"King, you know that I'll have to explain where I was to my wife." Martin said softly.

Kingsley looked uncomfortable.

"Yes, I know this is not ideal, but the details regarding the department were never made public. While we are the ministry thought you to be dead, the public just assumed that you were all people who had decided to leave." Kingsley said.

Silence greeted this revelation. So she had been wrong earlier. Her family didn't think that she was dead, they thought that she had left. Just, left them. Her hand found the ring around her neck and she clung to it for dear life.

"Well what are we meant to tell them?" Jonathan asked, his tone was business-like.

"Due to the circumstances we have decided-"

"Who're we?" Hermione said, finding her voice again.

"The board, the one that was involved in the creation of the department. Anyway, as I was saying we have decided that you can tell your families that you were doing a job for the ministry, but don't go into specifics." Kingsley said.

"Are they out there then? Can we leave?" Martin asked coldly.

Hermione knew that this was him showing anger. Martin never shouted, he just acted with a cold indifference to someone when he was mad. It had always reminded her of how her father would just look disappointed when he was unhappy with her, instead of angry.

"O-of course." Kingsley stammered, Hermione guessed that he was unaccustomed to Martin being annoyed with him.

But what did he expect, really? Hermione knew that Kingsley had been the one to recommend Martin for the department, did he really expect, after 4 years, for Martin to be glad that he was away from home that long and couldn't tell his wife anything.

Hermione climbed off her bed and watched as her friends rushed out the door, the feeling of nervous anticipation came rushing back to her, full force. She felt overwhelmed at the prospect of having to deal with all of this right now.

She had almost reached the door, when Kingsley grabbed her arm.

"Listen Hermione, I know that I'm not your favourite person right now," he began, and for the first time that day, Hermione felt comforted by his calming voice, "but I just wanted to warn you, to let you know that…well when I went to get them, I explained a little."

"Oh, well, um thanks?" Hermione said, unsure of where Kingsley was going with this.

"No, what I meant was that…they were relieved that you were ok, of course but they're a little angry and confused right now," Kingsley said awkwardly, "I'm not sure what to expect for them, you know? It was hard for him, when you left."

Hermione felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, followed almost instantly by red hot anger.

"Well it's not like I wanted to leave, was it?" she spat at him.

She moved past him, not caring that she might have hurt him or been too rude, and she put her hand on the handle of the door. Taking a deep breath, she pulled it open.

**Songs for this chapter: I will reach you, by Westlife (It was hard looking for a song for this chapter but I think the lyrics in this one describe Hermione's feelings quite well)**


	3. Chapter 2

Ok, Chapter 2! I bet anyone that is reading Heroes Again is shocked by my quick updates, lol. Anyway there are a few reviews to reply to, since they were unsigned. I think the main issue is the OCs, trust me I actually hate stories that are more about the original characters than Hr/R but I felt like I had to introduce them in the first two parts, because I didn't want them to be Mary Sue's. I plan on developing them enough to make them believable, but that will always be happening in the background, and I have put a lot of work into giving them individual characters, which you will see gradually. There will never be a chapter all about them. The reason that I have so many OCs was because in order for the storyline I had with Hermione leaving to work, I had to have her meet new people and she wouldn't go through what she did with these people without having a good friendship. Having said that, obviously the more important friendship is the trio (which I just love) and they will be the main people in the story, especially R/Hr, so if the OCs are putting you off, wait for the next few chapters to judge (they aren't even in this one!), although I would like to know if you think I'm not developing them enough and they are becoming Mary Sues. The other thing mentioned was about the ministry being helpless, and how was it possible for them to "lose contact", well that is part of the plot, trust me these questions will be answered (there is some things given away in this chapter).

Ok, so also thanks for the reviews, and I do like that everyone is being honest because it tells me what I need to focus on, so please let me know what you think of this chapter. It was incredibly hard to write, especially getting the emotions right.

Chapter 2

Hermione froze, the scene before her practically paralysing her. She felt tears prick at her eyes, she couldn't remember the last time that she had cried but, at this moment, she let a few tears escape. She hadn't been prepared, really, for what she seen before her. Because, no matter how many times she had imagined this moment, it was nothing to what she actually felt right now. A million feeling pounded in through her body. Joy, sadness, shock, nervousness, completeness. She was so overwhelmed, she hadn't felt emotion like this in so long and she wasn't sure if she was happy about that or not.

But more than anything, what she seen before her, felt like home.

She had left the hospital ward that her and her friends were in and had come to the room Kingsley assigned them. She had been so overcome with the anger she felt at Kingsley, that she had rushed towards the room without thinking about who was in there. She was looking in the window of the room now, struggling to regain to control of her emotions. She cast a quick disillusion charm on herself, she wanted to take them in, before they saw her. They were here. Her boys.

Harry was pacing the length of the very small room. He seemed to talking quite animatedly to Ron, using his hands every so often to demonstrate his point. His hair was cut shorter than it was when she left, and he wasn't wearing his glasses. He must have gotten contacts. His robes were a sleek black, more stylish than anything she had ever seen Harry wearing. But his brilliant green eyes still remained. His hair was still as messy as ever, and he was wearing the watch that he had gotten for his seventeenth birthday. She had missed him so much. Her brother. She had never realized, before she left, how much she relied on him, how much she ran to him when she was in trouble, but she couldn't even count the amount of times over the last few years that she wished Harry was there, because he would know what to do. She was a little shocked at the changes in him, because Harry had always been the same, but he did look well. She could tell he was leading a happy life, even if he looked like he was having a rant at the moment.

She turned her head to the other occupant in the room, her heart began hammering. Ron. She just felt warmth spreading over her body at the sight of him, her shoulders became a little less slouched, her eyes became a brighter and her smile felt a little less forced. He looked perfect. He was sitting down, both his hands forming a fist in the centre, with his chin leaning on them. His eyes were fixed determinedly at the ground. He had completely lost the last of the lanky look, which he still had when she had last seen him. He was more muscular, which most likely meant that he had was still an auror, Hermione felt some pride at this. There was seriousness in his stance that she had never seen in Ron before, and it made her heart break a little. His hair was still a fiery red, and in contrast to Harry, Ron's hair was longer than she had ever seen, except during the horcrux hunt. While Harry was pacing, and gesturing about, Ron remained completely motionless and emotionless. His face was blank, a mask of indifference that looked a little too harsh to be carefree. She wanted to rush to him, and wrap her arms around him and never let go. She had missed him. She had missed him so, so, so much that it actually hurt.

More tears flooded down her face as she continued to stare in amazement at her boys. But they weren't exactly boys, anymore, not that they were when she left either, but still. They were proper men now. She quickly wiped away the signs of her crying, taking a deep breath to calm her anxiety. She opened the door and entered the room.

They looked up as she entered, seeming to be caught completely off guard, although she was sure that they had known she was coming. They looked at each other awkwardly, and overwhelmed with emotion.

The trio stared at each other for a long time, unsure of what to say to each other. Suddenly, all Hermione could see in the space around them was memories of a friendship that they had always thought to be unbreakable. Two immature boys, a snotty bookish girl, a troll, all in the dungeon of a school filled with stories and magic. A giant chess set, a man with two faces, a test of loyalty so important it would save the worlds. Flying cars, giant spiders, evil snakes, foul words, and normal nights in the common room, playing chess and laughing. A rat, a cat, a dog. Fears, fights, flying and house elves. Tears and trials. A troublesome tournament, evil plots, the first loss of the war and Quidditch. Bulgarians, Veelas, balls, dates, dresses and crushes. A secret organization, a toad, first kisses, Hogsmeade. A battle, a curse, a hospital stay and a death that hit too close to home. A lucky potion, Christmas, yellow canaries and Lavender Brown. Poison, Dumbledore, falling in love and apparition tests. Horcruxes, Death eaters, war and abandonment. Forgiveness, three brothers, torture and healing. A break in that was legendary, a battle that could never be forgotten, a first kiss and a victory that could never be taken away. Auror training, flat searching, a trip to Australia, dealing with the press, Hogsmeade visits and a graduation day proposal.

A friendship built on a loyalty decided on the very first time they saved each other's lives, because a trust like that was unstoppable.

But in all the times they had together, they had never been like this. They had never struggled with what to say, or what to do.

"Hermione," Harry choked out. He stepped forward, as if to embrace her, but then he stopped himself.

Hermione tried to hide how much that stung, and nodded at him,

"Hello, Harry." She said, with a tight lipped smile. Harry looked a little confused; he turned away and started to pace again. Hermione closed her eyes for a second.

She looked over at Ron who hadn't said a word. He was no longer looking at the floor but a staring at her unflinchingly. His expression was conflicted, like he wasn't sure whether to hug her, or shout at her. After a few seconds on eye contact, Ron turned away and resumed his former position.

Her heart broke. Despite her desperate attempt to stop them, a few tears welled up in her eyes.

"You're back then," Harry said simply.

She nodded.

"Kingsley said you were doing something for the ministry."

"Yeah, doing something for the ministry." Hermione answer bitterly.

Ron looked up, with pure anger in his eyes.

"Well what was it?"

Hermione inwardly groaned. This was so unfair. Of course the only thing Ron would be need to know was _why _she left, but Kingsley had forbidden them from telling them that. Not that she really cared about breaking the ministry's rules, but she had signed a contract and of she broke it, she wasn't exactly sure what would happen. She also knew that if she told Ron, they would likely wipe his memory, and then they would continue to have this conversation.

"It was a, um, job, of sorts."

"A job," Ron snarled, "You took a job and vanished of the face of the earth?"

"It wasn't an ordinary job-"

"Obviously," Ron said bitterly, "Some secret mission was it? You were forbidden to contact the outside world, that was too much trouble, eh? You couldn't send a fricking' letter, to let us now that you were ok? WE THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD!"

Hermione flinched, Harry looked like he was about to intervene but then stopped, like before, and continued his pacing.

"I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE DEAD. BECAUSE YOU WENT OFF TO GET A JOB!" Ron continued angrily, but the pain in his voice was raw, "WE WERE ENGAGED, HERMIONE! DID THAT MEAN ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING TO YOU, AS LONG AS YOU GOT A DECENT JOB, NOTHING ELSE MATTERED, EH? IS THAT IT?"

"Of course not Ron, I-"

"If you didn't want to marry me, you could have said so. You didn't need to run away…like a coward." He spat at her.

Tears leaked from her eyes, and Ron turned away from her once more. Hermione wrapped her arms around herself and leaned back against the wall. She wasn't sure how to react, what to do.

Harry turned towards her again,

"Why didn't you tell us, about any of it?" He said a betrayed look on his face.

"I didn't know, Harry, I didn't know until that day and-"

"Don't lie!" Ron shouted, "How could you have not known? Do you think we are stupid? That you just decided to take a job, didn't tell anyone, vanished for FOUR YEARS, and now that you come home, you just happen to be forbidden to tell anyone? I know you, ok…or I did. You would never have just decided to take a job, not without thinking over everything. So don't act like it was a spur of the moment decision!"

"I had to, Ron, I-"

"WHAT ABOUT US? YOUR PARENTS? DID YOU EVEN THINK AT ALL ABOUT US WHEN YOU DECIDED TO RUN AWAY?"

Hermione fell silent. Of course, she thought of them, they were the only people she thought about! Did he not see that?

"Of course I did-"

"No, you didn't."

The silence was sharp and prickly; Hermione didn't know where to look.

This was awkward and wrong, and not at all how she had envisioned this going. She almost laughed at her naivety, how had she not seen this coming? She knew the both of them better than anyone, and yet she hadn't known how they would react.

Hermione thought about when she had made the decision to leave, she remembered how it had been the hardest decision of her life and she had 20 minutes to make it. She remembered how she had laughed when Kingsley initially brought it up, not believing that he was serious. How could he have been? Asking her to do this, after everything she had already done? He made it seem like an honour, like a duty. There were two choices that day though, one she could live with, and one she could not. She chose the one she could live with.

"Kingsley said that he had no idea you were all alive," Harry said, in a detached voice, "How could he have not known, you were working for him?"

"We fell out of contact."

"How?" Ron demanded, rolling his eyes.

Hermione sighed, she never wanted to confess the reasons for making that decision either but when Ron asked her something, she always answered with the truth. She remembered a summer's day long ago when they had made their honesty pact.

"Something…happened, and we had to make a decision." Hermione said quickly, "You have to understand, we couldn't just leave, like they would have wanted us to, not after what-"

"You chose to stay away?" Ron said, his eyes piercing though her.

"Yes, but I had-"

"STOP SAYING THAT! _YOU HAD TO," _he mimicked, "YOU JUST SAID THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO, YOU CHOOSE TO HERMIONE!"

Hermione shut her mouth, he was right. She had made the decision to stay. She had made the decision not to contact the ministry. She had known that it meant she would not get home for a long time, but she was still telling the truth. _She had to._

Harry sat down beside Ron, they were both looking away from her again and Hermione wondered if this was the way the whole talk would go. They asked a question. She answered. She made it worse. They looked away.

"Ron, Harry," Hermione began sincerely, "I know that you don't understand why I did this, hell most of the time I don't even understand. But you have to know that I am sorry, really sorry for hurting you both."

Tears fell down her cheeks and she wiped them away. She needed to say this now, while they still gave her the chance,

"Ron, I wanted to marry you, of course I did, I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't. I love-"

"Don't you dare," Ron snapped harshly, "Don't you dare say that. Because this isn't love, this mess you've left me in. You can't waltz back in her, cry a few tears and expect all to be forgiven. How would you have felt Hermione, if I had done that? If I had woke up one day and decided never to come back. FOR NO REASON. We were fine, we were happy. And they only explanation I could think of was that something really, really bad had happened to you because _you _would never do something like that, you would never abandon me without an explanation. And I stuck by that for months, but every time that I tried to get the ministry to investigate, they told me there was no point, they had no reason to believe anything had happened to you. They were just covering their tracks, but they were right, weren't they? You know, I even went to the muggle police, but they weren't much help because they didn't have the full story. Me and harry looked for you, endlessly, for a year and a half. Even when everyone else said that you had just had enough and left, we didn't. And that, was love. Because I loved you, Hermione. And you ruined that."

Her body began to shake. She didn't know how to process all this new information. She tried not to think about the past tense way Ron had talked about loving her, but it bounced around constantly inside her head.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, because she honestly couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Not good enough." Ron retorted. "What I want to know is why you bothered coming back?"

His eyes bored into her and she swallowed the hurt.

"Of course I came back."

"Probably just so that you could rub everyone's faces in it," Ron said, "Well, I won't let you ruin everything. We have all moved on Hermione, I got over you a long time ago. So if you thought you were just going to be able to walk back into our lives after 4 years you were wrong."

He gave her a look so full of disgust and anger, and this time she turned away.

What could she possibly say to them? How could she explain that this was all she wanted for so long? To be reunited with them. How could she explain that they were the reason she had made her decision? How could she explain that she had spent nearly all of her time aching for them, especially Ron? How could she explain that, even now when they hated her, she was feeling a small amount of pure happiness? Just because she could see them again, see how they had changed, how they were alive and well.

"Why did we have to come to the hospital?" Harry asked suddenly.

Hermione realized that the only things Harry had said to her, so far, were to gather as much information as he could, it saddened her that even Harry, who had never really been angry with her, was extremely disappointed and annoyed with in her now.

"Oh, um, we just had to get a check-up, to see that everything's ok." Hermione said, glad that the change of subject gave her something to say.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Harry asked, "What kind of job did you take that you had to get checked over after?"

Hermione shrugged unsurely. The kind of _job_ that she took was bad enough that she should have had more than one check-up over the years, but they had made do.

"Right. You're not allowed to say." Harry muttered resentfully. "So was it then?"

"What?" Hermione said, having no clue what Harry was talking about.

"Was everything ok?" Harry said slowly.

Hermione notice Ron's head flinch towards her, as if he was going to look and he but decided against it at the last minute. Was she that repulsive to him?

Hermione shook herself, when she realized that Harry was still waiting for an answer. What could she say? That no one was really sure if she was? That the healer had just implied there might be something _mentally _wrong with her? That there were new scars covering her body that the healer had said couldn't be removed?

"They said I was fine." She answered stiffly, she justified this to herself that it was kind of true, there was nothing vitally wrong with her at the moment.

Harry nodded, he seemed to struggle with himself for a while before speaking,

"That's good, I'm glad that you're ok."

She had to bite back a watery smile; she hadn't expected him to say that. It was awkward, and he wouldn't make eye contact, but it meant the world to her.

She wondered what they must have thought when Kingsley told them she was at the hospital, and felt a little annoyed that they had been worried. She wondered of the only reason they had come was because they thought she was hurt. No, she knew them, even if they hated her, they would have had to come to see for themselves if it was all true.

"Thanks." She answered his, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat.

"I need to leave." Ron said abruptly, standing up.

"Ron, please don't." She whispered desperately, the thought of him leaving again, leaving her, when she had just gotten to see him made her feel a little sick. She wasn't completely sure that this wasn't some king of dream, and if he left then it would all go away and she would be back where she was two days ago.

"I can't be around you," Ron said, "I can't sit and here and know that you chose to leave, that you were fine all this time. And not get any answers from you. So if you're not going to tell me _exactly _what happened in the last four years, then there is no point in me being here. And I'm honestly not sure if it would make a difference at this point anyway."

"Ron, I can't." A lump formed in her throat as she said the words.

The reason she was not going to talk about it was not the ministry; not really, it was because she couldn't bring herself to. She couldn't bring herself to talk about what happened to her, to make her the person she was now. She couldn't bring herself to talk about the things she had seen, because she had been supressing them in her memory for so long. But more than anything, she couldn't bring herself to push to the two worlds together. She couldn't allow Ron and Harry, who represented her childhood and a time when she was happy, to become a part of the thing that had destroyed her.

Ron just gave her a disappointed look. He shook his head at her and left, slamming the door behind him.

Hermione's hands began to shake, and devastation like she had never known overcame her. Ron really hated her. He was so, so angry. And while she had always knew that he wouldn't be happy to see her, she hadn't been prepared for what it would do to her to see him so cold towards her. She found herself going over everything he had said, and her mind stuck at the point where he said he had moved on. What did that mean? Did it mean that he was doing well in his career? Did he have a new girlfriend...Did he get married?

"I should probably leave too, I need to get home." Harry said.

She had forgotten he was there, and was a little startled when he spoke. She looked at him, as he brushed a hand through his hair. Her eyes widened in shock as she noticed a detail she had missed before. A wedding ring.

"You're married." Hermione blurted out, before she could stop herself.

Harry looked taken a back for a moment, before he recovered.

"Um, yes. I married Ginny two years ago." He said.

"Congratulations." She said, in a small voice.

Hermione couldn't believe it. Harry and Ginny, married. She had always known that they would end up together. But it pained her that she had missed it, she had always wanted to see Harry get married, finally getting a family of his own. It was something that he deserved so much.

"We kept putting it off, you know." Harry said suddenly, "Because I wanted you to be there, we didn't even start planning the wedding until after Ron and I had given up looking for you. I wanted you to be there, Hermione. We always said that we were brother and sister, and you were the person that I really counted as _my _family, because Ron would always be a Weasley, but neither of us ever had siblings, until we met. And you missed my wedding."

There was a silent anger in this statement, it wasn't said to make her feel guilty (although it certainly did) but to make her realize that it was not only Ron that she had abandoned.

"It doesn't matter, anyway." Harry said finally.

She wanted to apologise again, but she couldn't make an apology say how truly sorry she was. She got a feeling of loneliness and shame, like she used to get when she was younger and she had done something to make all the other children hate her. She had always run to her mother for comfort in times like these, and it was her mother that she yearned for now.

Harry was walking to the door, she couldn't bring herself to ask him to stay, why would he? Instead, she asked him a question, one which she had been wondering about since she had noticed who were waiting for her in this room, and who was not.

"Harry," she began timidly, "do you know if Kingsley spoke to my parents."

Harry froze, and Hermione got an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"What? Are they ok? Did something happen?" She demanded fearfully.

Harry turned around to face her.

"They're fine," he began, "but things changed when you were away."

"What? What changed?"

"They got a divorce, Hermione." Harry said shortly.

Hermione felt her legs collapse, and she sat down in the chair that Ron had occupied. Divorced. No, Harry must be wrong. She didn't have parents like that. Her parents had a strong marriage, they were always happy together. They weren't like those other parents she saw, who were always at each other's throats and only stayed together because of the children. Her parents weren't like that.

"Why?" She asked Harry sadly.

"I don't know, Hermione. But things changed between them after you left, they were both a complete mess. Ron knows. He used to visit them all the time, when you first left. It happened about a year after you were gone." Harry said, "Sorry, but when Kingsley spoke to them, they didn't want to come."

Harry threw her one last look before leaving, she thought that she detected pity in it, and he closed the door behind him.

Hermione put her head in her hands. Her breathing became erratic, he breaths coming in short, shallow gasps. Tears stung at her eyes, but now she didn't try and stop them from streaming down her face now, she was happy to have some way of releasing the thousands of emotions she was feeling. She couldn't believe what had just happened, she was over loaded with information. She felt so alone in the moment, her mind going back over everything. Her boys. Her parents…Ron. Guilt was racking through her body as she came apart in the little room.

**Songs for this chapter: Phil Collins- The Least you can do (For how Ron is feeling)**

**The Script- Long Gone and Moved on (For Hermione realizing that things have changed and that Ron has moved on)**

**Lucy Schwarts- Gone away (For the trio, I had never heard this before but the lyrics fit)**


	4. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter 3! This is Ron's POV leading up to the reunion in the last chapter, to give you all a glance into his life. So I am going to be focusing on Heroes Again this week, since I'm off, but I might still get an update for this.**

**So reviews, I was really happy with them, and especially by how many I've gotten so far so please keep giving me your opinion, and I will make sure to respond to them. I'm going to answer non-signed ones here.**

**Rosalind: I mostly agree with you, but I think it will be revealed more later that Hermione chose to disappear for most of the time, if that helps show you the logic in it. As for the R/HR in the story, I have though for a long time on how to make it believable, so I hope I end up getting it right.**

**Guest: I read that story, and I suppose I agree with you. The basic plot is very, very alike. I'm really sorry about that but I thought it was original. The only thing I can say is that my type of writing is very different to that author's, and the further along I go, it will be a very different story. I must say that story was excellent though, I really enjoyed reading it.**

**Jo: Thank you so much! I really have put so much more thought and effort into this one, so I'm glad I'm improving.**

**Also, I'm not completely sure if I got the meaning of irony correct when Ginny mentions something that is ironic, so please tell me if it is wrong. Review Please**

Chapter 3

Ron Weasley groaned loudly as the sun burst through his bedroom. He squinted in an effort to get rid of the burning in his eyes, which always came with the bright light. Almost immediately, he was aware of a pounding in his head, and cursed himself for going out last night. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before glancing quickly at his clock.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, jumping out of bed and grabbing the nearest set of robes he could find.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" He muttered, as he threw on the auror robes.

He was late, he was really late actually. He was over an hour late for work, not to mention some meeting.

When Ron was finished dressing himself, he grabbed his wand from his bedside table and ran down the hall to the kitchen. He stared longingly at the cupboards filled with tasty foods, before realizing that he simply didn't have time. He quickly searched through the highest cupboard, and his hands found the small vial easily, considering that the cupboard had a few vials of it.

It was a shining purple, Ron had always thought the colour to be very misleading. It gave the impression that the potion was nice and refreshing, when in fact, it tasted like eating dried bogies. Sighing, he gritted his teeth and gulped down the potion. He winced as the taste hit his throat, but he didn't have time to grab something to wash it down with. He immediately felt a small relief from the hangover potion, although it was not too much and he still he looked a mess.

He rushed clumsily to the fireplace, putting on his shoe as he did so. Ron ran a hand through his tousled hair, and grabbed some floo powder. He threw the powder in the flames and stepped in.

"Ministry of Magic!" He called.

A few seconds later, Ron found himself stepping out into the Atrium of the ministry. He glanced briefly at the large clock and sighed with relief, he had 10 minutes before he had to be at the meeting. Thank Merlin! He didn't fancy facing his boss if he was late.

Ron quickly made his way to the lifts, and was relieved when he noticed he was the only person there. He stepped into the lift and it took him swiftly up to the auror department. While he was in the lift, he began looking over the case file that they would be having a meeting on. He would have to give his report, although it was a fairly boring mission to be honest. It was just a burglary, he and Harry had gotten a tip that the Three Broomsticks was about to be robbed and they had staked it out until they found the guy.

Ron sighed, he had been getting a lot of missions like that recently. He knew he should be happier that the world was safer and all that, but still, he missed the days when coming into work was exciting, or at least the days when he would be required to think at work. He smiled to himself, he knew that it would surprise quite a few of his old school friends that he missed having something to think about, especially-

The door screeched open, and Ron pulled himself from his thoughts. He walked into the auror department confidently; he still had about 5 minutes before he had to be at the meeting.

"Oi, Weasley!" Seamus called to him, from his desk.

"Hey mate," Ron greeted.

Seamus began sniggering,

"You look like hell!" he exclaimed, "Busy night?"

Ron laughed as Seamus waggled his eyebrows,

"Nah, not really. We stayed out to about three, after you left." Ron answered.

"I _had_ to leave. Lav was going to kill me if I stayed out any longer, she barely let me into the flat when I got home!" Seamus grinned.

Ron shook his head.

"Whipped." Ron coughed under his breath, as Seamus punched him on the shoulder.

"Shut up! She blames you anyway, apparently, you're a bad influence, always with those different girls, she says," Seamus said, and Ron put on a face on mock hurt.

They both laughed, a second later Harry came rushing into the department.

"Well, look who's late." Ron teased, maybe no one would notice how late he had been if Harry was late too.

"Oh, don't start. I've already been in. I was at your place there now to remind you about the meeting." Harry answered.

Ah well, maybe not.

"Come on, we better get in here quickly." Harry said, Ron nodded and walked on beside him, waving over his shoulder to Seamus as they did so.

"How're you then?" Ron asked, as they approached the meeting room.

To his surprise, Harry did not give the customary "fine", instead his face split into a wide smile.

"What happened?" Ron asked, intrigued now.

"We're going to tell everyone tonight, at the family dinner." Harry said.

"No, no, no, no. You can't do that. You can't tell me that there's something that you've got to tell me and them not tell me until you tell everyone." Ron protested.

Harry looked a confused.

"Did that make sense in your head?"

"It did." Ron confirmed.

"I suppose that's all that matters then." Harry said, rolling his eyes.

"Come on Harry. I am your best friend! You have to tell me!"

"Ginny would kill me!"

"Don't be a wuss!"

Harry glared at him.

"Fine! But not right now, this is too big to say in a few seconds. I'll tell you straight after this, yeah?" Harry said, not giving Ron much time to answer as he had already went into the meeting.

Needless to say, Ron couldn't concentrate during the meeting. He wondered briefly what Harry's news was. Maybe he had been promoted? Nah, there were no promotions available at in the department. His mind drew a blank after this.

He gave his report to the group, it was brief but gave all the essential details. He was shocked to see that Reynolds (his boss) looked very happy with him, maybe that meant that he didn't notice he was late? Hopefully.

After the meeting he and Harry went to Harry's office. They were both senior aurors now, meaning that they got their own office. It still, kind of star struck Ron to see how far they had come. Harry's office was clattered in photos, mostly of Ginny, but there were quite a few of the whole family. Ron avoided the photo at the very end of the fireplace, it was tucked away so much that most people wouldn't have seen it unless they knew it was there. Ron was always aware of it but he refused to look towards the three teenagers in the photo.

"Well," Ron said, sitting down in front of Harry's desk, "what's the big new, then?"

Harry smiled again, a weird smile. He looked both ecstatic and nervous.

"Ginny and I…well we're…Ginny's pregnant!" Harry stammered excitedly.

"Merlin! Wow, congrats mate!" Ron yelled, standing up and pulling Harry into a brotherly hug.

"I know! I know! I'm going to be a dad!" Harry said, looking like he was in a daze.

Ron smiled at him, he was so happy for harry and his sister. They were going to be parents! They were going to have a baby! He swallowed the small amount of envy he was feeling, this wasn't about him.

"I'm going to be an uncle!" Ron cheered.

Harry broke out of the daze he was in to look at Ron strangely,

"You're already an uncle, in fact all of your brothers, except Charlie, already have kids." Harry said, looking as if he were concerned for his friend's mental health.

"Well, yeah," Ron said, rolling his eyes, "but this is you and Ginny! It's different."

Harry laughed,

"Whatever you say, mate. Actually listen, Ginny and I were thinking about who should be the godparents, and well, we both agree that you should be the godfather, what do you say?" Harry said nervously.

Ron grinned, Godfather! He knew, on some level, that he would always have been a godparent to at least one of Harry's children (as Harry would be to him, if he ever actually had any), but it was weird that it was actually happening. He was already little Freddie's godfather, but there was something really exciting about being the godfather to Harry and Ginny's first born.

"Obviously, who else would you pick? You don't exactly have that many friends after all." He joked, but he patted Harry on the shoulder to show how much it really meant to him.

"Great." Harry said.

"Who's going to be godmother then?" Ron asked casually, he knew who it would have been if this happened four years ago.

Harry shrugged,

"We haven't been able to decide, you know?" Harry's expression became mischievous after a second, "But there is a rule, you, under no circumstances, are to have anything to do with the godmother!"

"What'd you take me for Potter? It's not going to be any of Ginny's teammates, by any chance, is it?" Ron said hopefully.

Harry shook his head ruefully, "We might just pick Luna, but we aren't sure because if we have another kid then Neville would be godfather, and they'd probably want to do it together."

That knocked the grin off his face, while Harry smirked at him, no, he would not be trying anything with Luna. Harry became serious again after a second,

"Ok, so I told you, but you can't tell anyone. And, you know, act shocked when we tell you, or Gin will kill me!"

Ron laughed, but agreed anyway.

"So who's all coming tonight, to hear the good news?" Ron asked, after a few minutes.

"The family, obviously, then Neville and Luna, Hagrid, Andromeda, Kingsley, and maybe some of the old DA ones. Ginny's with your mum, organizing it all day. Oh, shit! That reminds me."

Ron watched Harry scuffle around on his desk for a moment, before grabbing one of the sheets that the ministry supplied for memos. Harry scribbled something down quickly, and used his wand to send the memo flying out the door.

"What was that about?" Ron asked curiously.

"I had to invite Kingsley, I just asked him to come by the Burrow in an hour or two."

"Sure. See you later then." Ron called, as he left Harry's office before he could be caught slacking off on his work.

"Ron" Harry began, "I'm serious, be there at exactly 5. That's two hours from now, you can't be late again."

Ron waved dismissively over his shoulder, honestly, he knew when 5 o'clock was!

oo00OO00oo

"Where's everyone else?" was the first thing Ron asked, as he came into the kitchen of his childhood home. The only people there were his parents, Harry and Ginny.

Ginny looked up from the deep discussion she seemed to be in with their mother, and smirked at him.

"Since you're always late, we told you to be here half an hour early. Isn't it ironic that the first time we do that, you are actually on time?" She said.

Ron rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath about that being "completely unnecessary".

"How was work son?" His father asked, as Ron took a seat beside Harry at the table.

"It was fine, we weren't really that busy. Just had some paperwork to fill out."

"Don't sound so disappointed Ronald! You should be happy that there is nothing dangerous out there for you to be dealing with." His mother reprimanded angrily.

"Of course I am, mum." Ron said, with a roll of his eye. "What's for dinner?"

"Beef stew, and you will not be getting any until everyone else is here, so don't ask."

"Blimey," Ron muttered under his breath, "What's with her today?"

Harry heard him and leaned in,

"She's annoyed because Gin won't tell her what the news is." He whispered.

Ron supressed a snort at this, his mother was too nosey for her own good sometimes.

"Did you boy's see the cannons match at the weekend, then?" His dad asked them.

This was all it took for a Quidditch discussion to take over. Ron defended his team's dismal performance by pointing out that they were slowly improving, Ginny then began rattling off statistics of the Harpies' latest game, pointing out that they were much better than the Cannons. Ron ignored her and looked for support from Harry and his dad, although they weren't very enthusiastic about the Cannons either.

The discussion passed the time quickly, and before he knew it everyone was there. Ron realized Harry had underestimated the amount of people that would be turning up, since practically the whole DA had joined them. There were so many people that they were going to have the dinner outside, they set up a tent and, despite it being October, they were all quite warm inside with all the tents.

Ron was seated between George and Charlie, the second eldest having flooed home for the occasion, and was enjoying catching up with his brothers.

"So, a little birdie told me that you were out again last night." George began, while trying to keep a five-month old Freddie from wriggling out of his arms.

"Jealous, George? You don't go out much anymore, do you? Since, you married Angie." Ron retorted calmly.

George feigned mock-hurt, while Ron and Charlie exchanged high-fives.

"Disgraceful, little brother. For that you can take Freddie."

Ron sat up a little straighter as the baby was thrown into his arms. Ron smiled at the baby, who watched him intently, as George got up to get them a bottle of Firewhiskey, as had become their tradition every week.

"I will never understand what possesses people to have a kid," Charlie shivered as he watch Freddie drool.

Ron grinned, they had all realized long ago that Charlie was terrified of babies. Put an older child in front of him, like Teddy or Victorie, and he would be great, their favourite uncle, but if a baby was anywhere near Charlie he began to freak out. Ron found that he just couldn't agree with his brother, he loved kids. He thought, once, that it wouldn't be too long until he had one, but that hadn't worked out. Ron pushed these thoughts from his mind, best not to dwell on "what-ifs", he reminded himself. He glanced around to see where George was with that Firewhiskey.

"When are we eating mum?" Bill called.

"Sorry dears, we are just waiting on Kingsley, he must've got held up at work." His mum answered.

Before anyone could react, a pop was heard and Kingsley appeared before them. He looked a tired, and a little frustrated, a far cry from the confident man that Ron was used to seeing.

"Speak oo' the de'il," Hagrid slurred a little, Ron suspected that the half giant had already found the Firewhiskey that George was looking for.

"Oh, excellent, there you are Kingsley, we can start eating now-"

"Actually, Molly," Kingsley said apologetically, "Something's come up. I'm here on business."

"Oh," His mum looked devastated that her dinner would be wasted.

"But please, don't stop on my account. I just need to speak with Ron and Harry for a while." Kingsley said pleasantly.

Ron got up immediately, as did Harry.

"Come on, we can talk in the living room." Ron said, as he led the way to the house.

What had happened? In all his years as an auror, never had Kingsley, the Minister of Magic, come personally to talk about anything business-like. Had something really big happened? At this thought, his stomach swirled uneasily. He had an odd feeling about whatever Kingsley was going to say. Like something had happened that would change everything. Ron tried to ignore these thoughts. Maybe something had come up, and since Kingsley was coming here anyway, so he said that he would tell them. _Then why does he look so worried_, a small voice in the back of his head asked him.

Ron and Harry sat down on the sofa, while Kingsley sat across from them on an armchair, he leaned towards them but before he got a chance to speak, Harry had interrupted him,

"What's happened? Do we have to go into work now?" he said.

"No, nothing like that's happened," Kingsley said tiredly, "It's more of a personal matter, actually."

Ron's mind was reeling. It had nothing to do with work. So that meant it had to be something that he and Harry, were specifically involved in, something that they would be notified of. He couldn't think of anything like that, except…no, that was impossible.

"What happened?" Ron said, with urgency in his voice.

Kingsley looked at him with sorrow and regret in his eyes.

"It's about Hermione."

Ron took a sharp intake of breath, as his eyes became unfocused. Hermione. It felt like a wall came crashing down on him, a whole new sense of dread filling him inside. It had been four years, four years of absolutely nothing, no news, no letters, no contact, no sleep and now, something had happened. Had the ministry tracked her down, or did she walk into Kingsley's office and ask for a job? Was she hurt, was she alive? He began to shake a little at the thought. He had prayed for so long to find answers, to know why his fiancé had disappeared, and now that the answers were here, he wasn't sure if he wanted them. No news was good news, after all.

"What about her?" Harry said shakily, Ron looked over and found that Harry looked a little pale, and disconcerted.

"We found her, or she found us, rather," Kingsley said.

"She just walked into the ministry? Did she say where she was? What happened to her?" Harry asked.

Ron was grateful that Harry was there to ask the questions that he wanted to, because he was certain that his voice had left him since her name was spoken. He had been doing so well, never thinking about her, and now to have it sprung on him like this…it felt like his world was being torn apart.

"I haven't been completely honest," Kingsley began, "I'm sorry about that, I really am, but we thought it was best for everyone. We were wrong, obviously."

"What are you talking about?" Ron demanded angrily, Kingsley was babbling and Ron wanted to know exactly what was going on, right now.

"I can't tell you everything, the information is confidential. Basically, Hermione has been doing something for us, the ministry-"

"YOU KNEW?" Ron shouted, as rage overtook every other emotion in his body, but he wasn't sure who he was angry at, as he digested this new information. Hermione left for a job. Kingsley knew about it.

How many times had he been in Kingsley's office, after she disappeared? He had been falling apart, practically crying, saying that something awful had happened that someone had done something to her, that he needed to find her. And Kingsley had sat there the whole time, comforting him, assuring him that the ministry would look into whatever had happened her. It was Kingsley, two and a half years ago, that had even convinced him to accept that she left him, that no one had kidnapped her.

Ron turned away from Kingsley, in an effort to prevent himself from going to Azkaban for attacking the Minister of Magic.

"Why didn't you tell us that? We looked for her for over a year." Harry said softly, but the accusation was very clear.

"Harry, it was like an auror mission, it was vital that what she was doing was kept completely private. Even those who organized it were put under an oath." Kingsley went on, "We lost contact with the group that she was with, fairly early on and haven't heard anything since…until today. They came to my office, seven out of thirty…it was a brief meeting, I didn't find out much, I think I was too shocked to actually ask them anything."

Kingsley trailed off, a sad look came into his eye. Ron didn't know what to think anymore. She had left for a job, and then she abandoned the job, since she stopped contacting the ministry, and then she turns up four years later. It didn't sound like her, like the woman he had been in love with since he was 14. But that woman wouldn't have left him without a word, not without a reason.

"So she's back." Ron said, trying to sound indifferent. "Why're you telling us, it's nothing to do with us?"

Harry turned to Ron, looking shocked, but Ron ignored him. He would not go rushing to her, and pretend that everything was ok.

Kingsley looked a little thrown by his answer but recovered quickly,

"I thought that you two might want to talk to her, considering that you spent nearly two years banging on my door non-stop."

Kingsley's voice was cold, like he was disappointed in them. Ron supressed a snort at the nerve of Kingsley, expecting them to feel bad, after he had just admitted to knowing what happened to Hermione the whole time.

"You should have told us, Kingsley."

"I know. We thought they were all dead…I thought it kinder to let you think that she had left." Kingsley said.

Ron flinched automatically at the idea of her dying.

"She's at St Mungos now. Go to floor 4 and wait in room 13, I'll get her for you."

"What makes you so certain that we'll be going? And why the hell is she in St Mungos?" Ron snapped.

"Because no one else is going to go." Kingsley snapped back, ignoring his second question.

This shut Ron up. He tried not to feel remorseful at the image of her staying in a hospital room alone, but he couldn't help it.

"What about her parents?" Harry said.

"I've just come from there, actually," Kingsley explained, "and it was not exactly a warm welcome. Her mother said that she had no intention of speaking to her again, and well, no one's seen the father in a while."

Harry looked shocked by this information but Ron wasn't. After Hermione disappeared he had looked out for her parents for as long as he could. But the cracks had started showing before long. He supposed it was the stress of their daughter disappearing, again, just after they had finally been on good terms. Robert had hit the bottle, he began drinking all the time, and when he was drunk, all he talked about was Hermione. This was in contrast to Jean, who was determined to act like her daughter never existed. It was fair to say that they began to clash. It became uncomfortable for Ron to be there, with them fighting all the time, especially since he was barely coping himself at the time. He knew that they got a divorce though; he also knew that Jean started to blame Hermione for everything, or maybe it was more the Wizarding world in general.

"Room 13?" He asked Kingsley determinedly.

Kingsley nodded, while Harry stood up beside Ron.

"Let's go," he said to Harry.

After everything that happened in the last four years, he needed to know. He needed to know _why_ she left, why she abandoned him, why she didn't stay and marry him, why she left her family. A small part of him also wanted her to know what she had done. What she had done to her parents, to Harry and to him. He needed the answers he spent four years waiting for.

**Song for this Chapter: Missing You by John Waite**


	5. Chapter 4

**I really should be finishing Heroes Again…but I just can't help writing this! So, someone mentioned Hermione's hair, and just to let you know it looks like Emma Watson's did at the DH Part 1 premiere. This is more of a filler chapter, but let me know what you think**.

Chapter 4

"Ok, here's your room. It's 20 galleons a night, and you can just call down for anything that you need."

"Thank you, Hannah," Hermione smiled at her fellow DA member.

She had been surprised to see that Hannah was now the landlady of the Leaky Cauldron, as she had only been a waitress when Hermione left, but she was happy for Hannah. She wondered idly whether Hannah and Neville were still together but Hannah hadn't mentioned it, not that she would, Hermione reminded herself.

"No problem," Hannah said, returning the smile, "Now, have you any idea how long you'll be staying, because if you do, you could pay now?"

"Um, no, I'd imagine it'd be a while though. Can I pay you later?" Hermione asked, avoiding the other woman's eyes.

"Of course, don't worry about. I'll leave you to get settled in, shall I?"

Hermione nodded gratefully, Hannah went over to the door and then came back over to her,

"It's great to see you again," Hannah said, pulling Hermione into a hug.

Hermione froze at the contact, resisting the urge to reach for her wand. _Calm down_, she thought to herself, this was just Hannah. Nevertheless, she was immensely grateful when Hannah pulled away, looking a little confused that Hermione hadn't returned the hug. Hermione and Hannah had become close enough after the war, because Hannah and Neville were dating, and Hannah had joined their group.

"It's good to see you too." Hermione forced out, "How've you been?"

"Oh fine, you know. Same old, same old." Hannah said, still looking at her strangely, "I bought this place 2 years ago, and I've been busy setting it up. Well, anyway, I better go. I'll see you later."

Hermione nodded, and then sighed with relief when the door closed. She was exhausted with trying to keep up this façade, trying to communicate with everyone she left behind. She looked around the room, it was quite nicely done, she decided. There was a large bed in the corner, made of wood that was a rich chocolate colour. There was a wardrobe along the wall, with a dressing table beside that. The room was plain, but classy.

Hermione decided to get a shower, and then change into something that wasn't black. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and groaned a little. Her short hair was very greasy, and sticking up in all directions, although she had to admit it wasn't as bad looking as she had thought when Beth had initially cut it. Her face was a little pale looking, and her brown eyes looked tired, but she had expected worse.

Her musing were cut off as a bright light burst into the room, Hermione grabbed her wand immediately and raised it at the offending light, only to calm down when she realized it was a patronus. She smiled slightly at the familiar sight of her partner's fox patronus,

"Hey," Nate's voice said, "We're going to be at the bar you're staying at soon, maybe an hour, you coming?"

Hermione considered the offer. In all honestly, she was tempted to stay in her room and collapse onto the bed. It had been a long day, she had seen Ron and Harry and she was physically and mentally exhausted. But in the back of her mind she knew that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep now, despite her exhaustion her mind was alert after seeing her boys, and the dreamless sleep potion the healer gave her wouldn't make her sleep, it would just make sure she didn't dream. She quickly sent back a reply, saying that she would meet them there, before she went to the bathroom.

Before she went to the bathroom, she quickly cast protective charms around the small room, in habit. Or she told herself that it was just a habit.

Hermione emerged from the bathroom 50 minutes later. Her hair was soft and fuzzy and her skin scrubbed so much that it was practically red. She stared at herself in the mirror, mentally comparing it to the way she looked before her shower. Her hair looked ok now, though she would have to brush it a little to straighten it out, as it resembled a nest on the top of her scalp, she hoped that it would grow out a little. She used the towel to cover the worst of her scars, she hated looking at them, and was reasonably happy with her appearance, she no longer looked ashen white but there was nothing she could do about the sadness in her eyes. _It will pass, _she told herself.

Hermione transfigured the black tracksuit-like clothing into a pair of blue jeans that fitted her snuggly, and a white, woollen jumper, making a note to go shopping, or get her own clothes back. That thought stopped her a little in her tracks, she wasn't sure how that would go down. From what she seen, Ron would hex her on sight, providing he even kept any of her things. She pushed these thoughts from her mind, it wouldn't do to agonize over all this yet, she just needed to forget about what had been said between them today. Tomorrow would be better, she told herself calmly.

Hermione struggled to spot Nate over the large crowd gathered in the bar, when had this place gotten so popular? It must've been something to do with Hannah's new management, she decided. When she finally spotted Nate, she saw that Beth and Jake were with him too. They were gathered in a small booth in the corner of the room, looking about them anxiously.

"Hello," Hermione said, as she plopped herself down beside Jake.

She noticed that her friends had cleaned up too, and found it weird looking at them in normal clothing.

"Want something to drink?" Jake asked her abruptly.

Hermione nodded, and raised her eye at Beth, gesturing to the many empty shot glasses on the table, while Jake called an order over her head.

"Been here long?" She asked them.

"About 20 minutes," Beth answered.

"I'll take it that all you had a bad day too," Hermione grinned at them.

"You wouldn't believe it," Beth groaned.

"Trust me, it couldn't have been worse than mine." Nate said, "I honestly feared for my life, my mum was suffocating me."

"At least your mum came to see you. No one bothered with me." Jake inputted, in a way that was meant to sound like a joke but he just couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice. Hermione patted his shoulder comfortingly.

She really felt for Jake, she knew, on some level, what he was feeling like. It hadn't exactly been a warm welcome that she received, but at least Ron and Harry had shown up and that meant more to her than she could ever tell them.

"My mum had a baby." Beth said abruptly.

"What?" Nate spluttered out, having just had a drink of whatever was in those shot glasses.

"Yep." Bet said, popping the p, "A baby. I have a sister, apparently. She's 3, she's called Jane."

Hermione exchanged looked with Jake and Nate, that was certainly unexpected. What age was Beth's mother?

"What age is your mum?" Nate asked, Hermione could've kicked him for his lack of tact, although she was curious too.

"Nate!" she said sharply.

"It fine, Hermione," Beth said, giving them a tight lipped smile, "She's forty now. She had me quite young, I suppose."

The group were silent once more. Each absorbed in their own thoughts. Hermione wondered what it was like coming home to a whole new family arrangement, Beth had been an only child her whole life, and now she had a sister 20 years younger than her.

The silence was interrupted as a waitress came over to them, placing another 8 shots in front of them, before walking away. Jake gave them all two each, before necking his own pretty quickly.

"What's in this?" Hermione asked cautiously, she had long ago become accustomed to the way her companions drank insane amounts of alcohol (even joining in when she was in a particularly bad mood) but she knew she was right to be nervous about anything Jake would've ordered.

"Just firewhiskey, and some muggle spirits too. Nothing major." Nate answered, still sounding sober despite the empty glasses in front of him.

Hermione quickly drank the shot, wincing as it burned the back of her throat slightly.

"Well, I don't have any more siblings, thank god! Actually, it seems like absolutely nothing's changed since the last time I was home." Nate said, "It's exactly the same. Well, one of my brothers got married."

Hermione wondered if it was the drink that was making them all open up about how coming home had been, or if Beth had initiated this as a counselling session.

"Where're the others?" Hermione asked, realizing that three had not come.

Nate looked sickened before answering, "Ally and Jonathan said they wanted some _alone _time after four years with us, eugh, and Martin wants to stay home with his wife."

Hermione nodded, that was understandable. She felt the alcohol begin to rush to her head along with a strange urge to laugh. She always got giddy when she drank.

"What about you?" Jake asked her.

"Oh, yes," Beth grinned, a twinkle returning to her eye, "Did you see that dashing fiancé of yours?"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I did, and apparently I'm not going to be seeing him again." She answered honestly.

"Oh, sorry."

"Never mind, I don't want to talk about it." Hermione said. Lifting up the other shot glass and drinking it in one gulp.

"That bad, huh?" Nate laughed.

"Well how pathetic are we?" Jake said grimly, "First night home and we have to meet up. I don't think that was the plan."

They remained silent as the words sunk in. Hermione realized he was right, in all the fantasies she ever had about coming home, none of them involved getting drunk in the Leaky Cauldron with Nate, Beth and Jake. But Ron and Harry hated her, her parents didn't even want to see if she was alive and she had no one else to turn to at the moment. She didn't want to be alone. She was reminded of the time after the war when she, Harry and Ron had to sleep in the same room for months, and always had to be able to see each other. It wasn't quite that extreme, but she still felt better to be in the company of those who had gone through what she had. It made her feel better to know that it was not only her life that had changed, she knew that wasn't nice but she couldn't help it.

"Ah, but, who better to wallow in self-pity with?" Beth laughed, easing away some the tension.

They all began laughing, and found that they couldn't stop for quite a few minutes, it was silly and childish but it felt good.

"More drinks?" Jake exclaimed.

"Here, here." Nate answered, slamming his empty glass onto the table.

oo00OO00oo

Hermione tried to ignore the constant drumming in her head as she got dressed. That was the last time that she ever allowed Jake to decide what they were drinking anyway.

She had managed to transfigure another new outfit out of the clothes from last night. A neat, black dress. It clung to her figure, and had a belt around the middle, like the ones she always used to wear to work. She teamed it with a pair of black heels. She felt uneasy that the dress was short sleeved, she still hated showing that scar, but it was the best she could do.

She was a little frustrated that the only thing she could transfigure really well were muggle clothes, but she supposed it was because she had seen more styles of muggle clothing and she found Wizarding robes very complicated to design, it didn't matter too much anyway, most of the time she preferred muggle clothing, as it was much more comfortable.

She ate a quick breakfast, and tried to avoid the looks being sent her way from the Leaky Cauldron's earliest customers, and she apparated to the ministry. They had to meet with the team who organized their task today, to give a detailed account of exactly what happened. She wasn't looking forward to this, but she knew that it had to be done.

The ministry was hectic. Witches and wizards were rushing around everywhere in the usual Friday morning madness. Hermione spotted Nate standing in front of the elevators and made her way over to him,

"What're you doing here? I thought it was separate interviews." She said to him when she reached him.

"No, I was already in but they delayed me, they said they're going to ask us all with our partners in the room. They don't want it to seem like they ganging up on us."

Nate rolled his eyes, apparently thinking the reasoning was stupid. Hermione had to agree, it would probably be worse with someone else there.

"What about Martin?" She wondered aloud, "He doesn't have a partner, anymore."

She focused on Nate, and not the thoughts of Martin's partner, Kelly, that had sprung to mind.

"Don't look at me, I'm just the message boy."

Before they could continue their conversation, the elevator opened and they stepped inside. Hermione didn't notice the other occupant of the lift, until the doors had slammed closed. She cursed her luck when she found herself face to face with Arthur Weasley. He was immersed in his copy if the Daily Prophet.

Hermione quickly moved into the corner of the lift, pointing with her eyes to tell Nate to follow her. She hoped that Mr Weasley wouldn't notice her, she didn't want to face him after how much she had hurt his son, but luck was never on her side.

"Hermione, are you-"

"Hermione?" Mr Weasley said, interrupting Nate, and looking over at her in shock.

"Um, yes, hello Mr Weasley." She answered nervously.

Mr Weasley nodded at her, "Yes, we heard that you were back…you look different."

Hermione self-consciously put her hands to her short hair.

"I suppose." She answered awkwardly.

"Well," he said, breaking out into a smile, "It's great to see you, we were all relieved to know that you're ok."

"T-thank you." She said, shocked by the warm welcome.

The elevator stopped and Mr Weasley folded his paper under his arm,

"I have to get off, but…don't be a stranger."

Hermione nodded to him, as he smiled and left. The elevator began to move again a few seconds later.

"Who was that?" Nate asked with interest.

"Ron's father." Hermione said simply, and Nate nodded in understanding.

"Should've realized, red hair." Nate laughed to himself.

"Yes, so in future, when I run into the corner of somewhere, I'm probably trying to avoid being noticed, so if you could not call my name, that'd be great." She clipped.

"It wasn't that bad." Nate muttered.

The doors opened again, and Hermione found herself looking at the Department of Law Enforcement for the first time in four years. She stepped out of the lift and followed Nate to the room they were assigned. She could see some looks of recognition being thrown her way, but she moved so quickly so that no one got the second look that they wanted.

The first thing Hermione noticed about the room they were assigned was the size of it, it was quite small actually, and the second thing she noticed were the three people sat around the top of a long table. Kingsley wasn't there, but Hermione recognised these as the people who had organized their department.

Hermione and Nate sat down at the bottom of the table, alongside each other. The had barely hit the seats when the woman at the top of the table began talking,

"Hello, my name is Ellie Mathewson," The woman said, "Could you both state your names for the purpose of the interview? You should be aware that this is being recorded."

She pointed to a person in the corner that Hermione hadn't noticed, he was hunched over parchment and Hermione wondered why wizards never just used the tape recorders that muggles had.

"Nate Henderson."

"Hermione Granger."

"Good," Ellie said, "Now, do you both work for the Prevention of Potential Travesties Department?"

"Yes." They answered as one.

Hermione hoped that all of the questions weren't so obvious. If they purpose of the interview was to question the members of that department, then they obviously worked for said department.

"Did you achieve the goal of the task you were set? To defeat the dark wizard Vincent Williams, and the army he was assembling?"

"Yes, we did." Nate said, while Hermione thought that maybe she shouldn't have wished for more direct questions.

"How?" Ellie asked.

"How?" they repeated confusedly.

"Yes, how was he defeated? Did you kill him?"

"He was accidently killed in an explosion." Hermione answered instantly, as if they would ever just _murder _someone!

"Do you have a memory of that event? We're sorry for asking, but we need to get a clearer picture of what happened during your time way." The man beside Ellie asked, Hermione decided she liked him better.

"Yeah, you can have my memory." Nate offered.

"Good, we can collect any memories needed at the end of the interview." The person on Ellie's other side answered, "I'm Layla James, by the way."

"How exactly did the 23 other members of your team die?" Ellie went on.

Hermione stared at her in disbelief, did she expect them to recall the details of the deaths of 23 people off the top of their heads? Hermione took a deep breath before answering, it wasn't really Ellie's fault, she was just doing her job.

"Nineteen people were killed in an attack, about four months into the task. The headquarters the ministry gave us were picked up by the opposing side's surveillance, and was invaded. Only 11 of us survived. We moved location, and then about a year later, two more were killed while doing surveillance for us…"

Hermione told this like statistics, not like these were real people that were murdered, but it was the best that she could do. But she broke off at the end, she couldn't treat the next death in the same, detached way.

"There are two others." Ellie said, in a much softer voice than she had been using before.

"Hermione and Kelly were taken hostage last year, Kelly was killed during that time," Nate said, taking over for her, "Hermione escaped. Then the last person to die was Ryan, he disappeared during a battle, we think he was kidnapped too, and assumedly killed almost straight away."

Hermione whispered a small "thank you" to Nate, before turning back to those in front of her.

"Ok, we will need a list of exactly who died and when," Layla said, "and as much memories as possible from those events."

Hermione nodded.

"Can you tell us why you stopped informing the ministry of your developments, and why there was no sign of you when we sent people to check the headquarters?" Ellie asked.

Hermione and Nate looked at each other, unsure of how to talk their way out of this one. They hadn't done anything wrong, really, but she didn't want to share their reasoning with the ministry, she would like to have some things kept private.

"We moved for safety reasons, we made a new headquarters." Nate said.

"And why didn't you inform the ministry of this?"

"Our new location was underground," Hermione answered, following Nate's lead, "If we had owls coming in and out it would've been suspicious, it was quite close to the headquarters of our opposition, you see."

Ellie raised an eyebrow at her, clearly not believing that story but Hermione held the eye contact. Determined to show that she would not be answering anything else about that question. Thankfully, it seemed to work, for Ellie let out a sigh and moved on. Hermione heard Nate breathe a sigh of relief from beside her.

"So you will need to point out where exactly you set up your new headquarters, now, how did you carry out your surveillance?"

oo00OO00oo

"I thought that would never end." Nate groaned as they stepped out of the room. "It's after lunch, how long were we in there?"

"Six hours," Hermione muttered, "and they gave you lunch."

"Yes, but I had plans."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't think there was anything that they haven't asked us."

"I know, honestly, I thought asking what our bunk beds were made of was a bit much."

Hermione snorted in agreement.

"I feel better now that it's done anyway." Nate said.

Hermione nodded, she just hoped that she would never have to go through questioning like that again.

"What're you doing today then?" Nate asked her.

"Don't know, I might go see my parents actually." Hermione answered, as they entered the lifts again. "Nate, can you send a quick message to the others, tell them to stick with that story about why we didn't contact the ministry?"

Nate nodded, and they entered the lift again, each absorbed in their own thoughts.

She had wanted to go and see Ron today, but after yesterday she had lost her nerve a little, besides she knew that he would probably be working. _Coward_, she said to herself. But it was true; she didn't want to face Ron again just yet. Maybe when she wasn't slightly hung-over, and he had calmed down a little. She needed to see her parents anyway, it had been a long time and she needed to know what Harry had been talking about yesterday, he probably made a mistake anyway. Hermione closed her eyes as the lift went down; she was determined to make some progress today.

**Songs: Tied Together with a Smile by Taylor Swift (For Hermione, and how she's feeling)**

**Put your records on by Corinne Bailey **


	6. Chapter 5

**SORRY, I had to upload this again because I left out the song. I don't know if anyone is paying attention to them but just in case someone is.**

**So it took longer to get this chapter out, but I'm not on holidays anymore and I have so much work to do this year that it is hard finding time to write. I am going to try and get a chapter a week up though. Thanks to all the reviews from the last chapter, I'm really happy with the amount of them I've gotten so far! Just to point out though, that this story has a certain amount of mystery in it (probably should've put that in the categories) and that you will not know a lot of things until the end of the story but please bear with me and know that I have thought about all the things people are bringing up in the reviews, but they won't be explained until a later time, sorry, especially about why Hermione left so please don't judge her yet. So here are responses to reviews that I didn't reply to, as they were unsigned:**

**Jo: Thank you very much! I'm really glad that you like them (I've become so obsessed with them now too) and Ron and Harry will find out what happened to Hermione…eventually.**

**Guest: Thanks for the review! Although I'm sorry, you may be disappointed, this is a R/Hr story. I completely agree with you that **_**at the moment**_** she is a different person than she was, but I can tell you that her reasons for her decision to leave may change your mind.**

**Guest: The story is not complete, although I know exactly what I plan on happening. But I'd rather write it as I go in case I decide to change something.**

**Justin Keys: The Harry thing is an excellent point, but as I said above, I have thought about things like that, and I know why it was Hermione and not Harry that left, so if you can be patient you will get those answers, promise. And about Dumbledore or Voldemort knowing about this person, well they didn't because didn't really exist in their time, and they would not have heard of him. When Hermione left to search for his, or his "army", he was still developing as a Dark Wizard, which is why the department Hermione works for is called the Prevention of Potential Travesties Department, does that make it easier to understand? It will be explained more anyway though.**

**Ronnie: Oh dear! You're right, I probably should've checked that before I priced it at 50 galleons, sorry, shall we pretend that the Leaky is worth £100 a night :)**

Chapter 5

Hermione took a deep breath as she looked up at her childhood home. It was the same, exactly the same but she no longer felt the feeling of comfort that she had associated with the house. She wondered of that was just her mind though, trying to make her more nervous.

Ignoring her shaking hands, Hermione walked up the front porch and knocked twice, she was tempted to run and pretend that there was no one there, after all she could apparate and her parents would be none the wiser, but deep down she needed to see them.

It didn't take long for the door to answer, Hermione's mother opened the door with a smile on her face, the look faded into that of shock and disbelief as she looked at her daughter. Hermione absorbed the image of her mother, looking the same as she remembered her, the one person who hadn't seemed to change much on the outside. Her brown hair was the exact shade of Hermione's, but it was poker straight and reached well down her back, and her blue eyes never left Hermione's face for a second. She felt a rush of love at the sight of her. Hermione noticed her mum's fingers become whiter as they held onto the door with unnecessary force.

"Hermione. What are you doing here?" She could tell that her mother was trying to keep her voice steady, and intentionally making it sound cold.

"I've just gotten back, mum, I wanted to see you…and dad."

Hermione watched her mother's face carefully for any sign of a reaction. Sadness flickered in the older woman's eyes, and Hermione felt her knees begin to shake a little. Harry hadn't made a mistake. She could tell that he was right from the way her mother looked at her alone, she would not say it was a look of hate but more extreme disappointment, Hermione didn't want to think about what element of her the disappointment applied to. Then there was the sadness there, which intensified at the mention of her father. Hermione could barely look her mother in the eye, what had she done?

"Back? Back from where, I haven't seen you in years. I certainly never expected you to come back, Hermione." Her name was spat out at her.

Hermione played with her hands nervously, wondering what she could tell her mum. After a few seconds, her fingers automatically began fiddling with the chain around her neck, desperate for something to say.

"I was always going to come back, Mum." She managed to get out.

As if the reminder of whom she was to Hermione, her mother snapped out of her daze and determinedness crossed her features,

"You need to leave."

"Mum, I just want to talk to you, explain-"

"No! I don't want to hear any explanation. You have no idea of the mess that you have caused." Herm mum snapped angrily.

"I had to leave, mum. There was something I needed to do."

"You always have something you need to do," Her mum said, tiredly, "And you don't let anything else factor into your decision. You have never given us a second thought when you make these decisions, Hermione. One day you're here, and they next you're gone. Then you turn up later and expect everything to be ok."

"Mum, I didn't want to leave you. I thought about you and Dad all the time." Hermione pleaded.

Both women fell into an awkward silence. Hermione could feel her mother's eyes boring into her, but not in the caring and concerned way she was used to, no she was looking at Hermione as if wondering how she turned out like this, where they had went wrong in raising her. It hurt her, she remembered coming to her mother whenever anything was bothering her, and she could feel something had broken between them. And she didn't know how to fix it, it had been so hard to build up the trust with her parents after the war, and now she wasn't sure if it was possible to make up for it this time.

"Have you spoken with Ron?" Mum asked abruptly.

Hermione became stiff, she hadn't expected her mum to bring up Ron, and she didn't want to think about him at the moment. Yesterday had been awful, seeing how much she had hurt him and realizing he would never forgive her had broken her heart, and had led her to going out and getting drunk in an effort to forget, it hadn't worked. She knew that she would have to face him, especially if she there was any chance of getting him to see things from her side, but she was scared.

"I, er…saw him yesterday." Hermione answered.

"How did it go?"

Hermione was confused by the change in topic, or the interest that her mum was taking, when two seconds ago she was disgusted by her.

"Not, um, it didn't…not well. He's…angry."

Her mother nodded, and to Hermione's shock, she saw relief in her eyes.

"Good. He is such a good man, Hermione. He looked after us. He didn't deserve that from you."

Hermione felt like she had been slapped, her own mother was glad that Ron hated her, was she really so horrible?

"You're never satisfied," Her mother said finally, "You keep going and going, trying to be better than everyone, and yourself, and you're not even happy when you reach those goals. The Minister told me that you were back, yesterday. He said that you left for a job. A job! I don't understand why you would do that. You had everything that you wanted and you still weren't happy. How many times did I listen to you talking about Ron, before you finished school and after, and about how he was everything that you wanted? And he proposed! You were going to get married, you had an excellent job…but you still left, to be able to do a better job, no doubt."

Hermione flinched at the implication of that sentence, and she felt the need to defend her relationship with Ron before she could stop herself.

"It wasn't like that! You know that I love Ron, I was happy with him!" Hermione said, raising her voice, "You don't understand-"

"Of course I don't! Because you have shut me out of your life since you were eleven years old!" Her mum shouted, "We found out what you were, and we completely supported you, even when you had to go away for most of the year, even when you didn't want to spend the holidays here, even though you missed so many family holidays. Have you any idea what that was like? But we let it go, because you were happy, and safe, we thought, but you weren't, because you were lying about everything going on. Then you packed us away, you messed with our minds! And we still supported you, and accepted you back! But not this time, when the Minister told me he knew where you were, I expected you to be found dead. Dead, Hermione, because I had no idea why you would have left without telling us. And then when he said where you had been, I finally seen how uncaring you were, about everything. I didn't want to see you yesterday, and I don't want to now."

Hermione didn't know what to say. She knew, deep down, that being a witch had affected her relationship with her parents. How could it not? She had never been away from them for a night, but when she turned eleven she was away for ten months of the year, and then she was always at the Weasleys. She had become a part of a world that they couldn't ever be a part of, and they couldn't ever really understand it either. And then there was the war, but she was just trying to protect them, not hurt them. Before she could reply, the duo were interrupted by the squeak of a gate nearby, they both looked at the house next door and Hermione found herself looking at an elderly woman, she was eyeing them suspiciously, maybe she had heard them arguing.

"Are you alright, Jean dear?" She called over to them.

Hermione saw her mother roll her eyes slightly, before plastering a false smile onto her face.

"Oh, I'm fine Mrs Williams."

The woman went on into her house, throwing one last curious look over her shoulder at them. Hermione was staring at the place where she disappeared. She had never seen that woman before, it was the Carlson's that used to live next door to them, her parents were great friends with them and they also had a daughter around her age, Hermione had always enjoyed their company, especially the dinner parties that they used to throw in both houses. They had obviously moved. More than anything else, this affected Hermione most about being back in her own home, it made her realize that things had changed, that she had missed so much. She felt like she would be playing catch-up for the rest of her life, always getting caught off guard with changes that had occurred when she was gone.

Her mother turned back to her, she looked a little unsettled now,

"You need to leave. I don't want you here, my front doorstep is no place to be having a discussion like this, and you might let something slip about your world."

_I don't want you here. _Hermione felt tears prickle at the back of her eyes at these words. She wanted to disagree, to fight to be heard, to make her mother see that she loved her and that she didn't want to leave. She needed her mum more than ever now, her world had fallen apart, but she could see in her mother's eyes that that wasn't an option. They were having a standoff, her mother blocking the entire doorway, clearly demonstrating how unwelcome she was, and Hermione had to look away.

Fighting back more tears, she mutely nodded. She turned her back on the house, and walked down the small pathway, trying to even her breathing. She just wanted her mum, she wanted to talk to her and get advice, and be held and be loved by her. She wanted both her parents, but she would not be so cruel to ask where her father was, especially when she wasn't sure she wanted the answer.

oo00OO00oo

The room was silent. A tense atmosphere in the usually-happy house but Ron wasn't paying attention, really. He was absorbed in his own thoughts, trying to process all that had happened in the last 24 hours. It was mental, how he woke up yesterday expecting a completely normal day, only to have his whole world turned upside down. He thought that the most surprising event of the day would be Harry and Ginny announcing their pregnancy, how wrong he was. He wasn't sure how to deal with Hermione being back.

When he first heard, he had been overwhelmed. He felt relief, but mostly anger and confusion. He had been so scared when Kingsley said they had information about her, he thought that they had found her _dead_, but no, she was fine. This had made Ron furious, that he had spent so long searching for her, and worrying about her, only to find out that she had _chosen_ to leave all along. He was so angry with her, even if he felt relieved to know she was ok. He didn't know what to say when he had seen her, he didn't even know why he went but he just thought that it would be better to face her sooner, rather than later. He ignored the small voice in his head that said he hadn't wanted her to come home with no one waiting. But when she had started talking, and trying to justify her actions, he had saw red everywhere and he had to admit that he felt better for being able to set her straight, to make her see that he was not so weak to take her back without a second thought.

Ron rubbed his eyes, he was over-analysing this. He was making absolutely no sense.

"So what did she tell you?" George said, "Where did she say she was?"

Ron could see his family throwing George warning glances, as if he was crossing a line by asking that when Ron was in the room. Honestly, Ron preferred George's blunt question to everyone else's awkward avoidance of why they had gathered.

"She didn't say, she said she wasn't allowed to tell us anything." Harry answered him.

"That's a load of-"

"Gin, don't." Harry said, but Gunny ignored him. Clearly, Ginny had already told Harry her opinion on the matter.

"She owes us explanations, she can't expect to waltz back in here and get away with everything." Ginny said fiercely, Ron could see the anger in Ginny's eyes and he was secretly glad that someone else thought she should have to explain herself.

"Maybe she really can't." Bill suggested, "I know that there's stuff in my job that I'm not allowed to talk about."

"Yes, but that can't be an excuse for running off, Bill." His mother said, "What I want to know is why she took that job in the first place."

"Exactly!" Ginny said, "She just ran off, like a coward. She should have stayed here, if she wanted to take a bloody job, she should have told everyone."

"I agree with Ginny and Mum, she can't just be welcomed back with opened arms."

"I'm not saying that, George, I was just saying that maybe she wasn't lying about the job."

"Well what job was it? I think it matters what job she took, maybe it was too good of an opportunity to miss."

"Percy?"

"Yes, Charlie?"

"Shut up."

Ron tried to ignore his family's bickering, he wanted to be alone. He wanted to go home and forget about what had happened, without having to hear everyone else's opinion on the matter but Harry had dragged him over here after work, he thought it would be good to have a family _meeting. _Ha! Harry just wanted to make sure that he didn't go out and get smashed before work tomorrow, the thought was quite appealing.

"I don't know," Ron heard his father say thoughtfully, "I don't think it was your typical job, for one, the ministry knew and kept it a secret, they don't do that for just anyone-"

"Maybe Hermione asked Kingsley not to say where she was, she knew that he would have told us." Ginny said.

"Maybe, but I doubt it. Kingsley wouldn't be that cruel. And two, I saw her today and she didn't look like she's had it easy in the last few years."

Ron looked up at this, hating himself for being curious about this encounter, not to mention a little concerned. Although he had to admit that he agreed with his Dad, he had certainly noticed the changes in her. Ron barely recognised her. Her hair was so short, and a darker brown than he had been used to. It was weird, one of Hermione's most defining features had always been her bushy, long hair and he felt like the new haircut was a physical symbol of how different she was. Her brown eyes were tired, and stressed looking but seemed constantly on high alert, and she held herself differently too. Ron had always considered Hermione a confident woman, sure in herself, she had a natural confidence but she never had a commanding presence. But yesterday, Ron had seen someone who looked lost, and unsure about herself, and yet she seemed to have an authority that she had never had before. He didn't know who she was.

"Where did you see her?" His mother said, breaking Ron out of his thoughts.

"In the lifts at the ministry, I don't know what she was doing there though. She was with someone else, because he said her name and that's how I knew it was her, to be honest I didn't recognise her until I heard the name. She seems different, in a few ways."

"What was she doing at the ministry?"

"And who was she with?"

"I have no idea, like I said, I just said hello, it wasn't a long conversation."

"You talked to her!"

"Yes Ginny, I did."

Ron lost track of the conversation as his mind went into over-drive. He hoped that she wasn't going to be at the ministry much, he didn't want to see her, and he definitely didn't want to think about who she was with in the elevator. He would never admit it, but Hermione's leaving had destroyed him for a while, he had been devastated because he loved her so much, he had trusted her so much and to have her leave was awful. He had been in denial that she left him really, and everyone else knew that.

When he finally realized, a few years ago, that she wasn't going to come back, he had changed. He had put absolutely everything into his job and worked his way up in the ranks. He was the ministry's top auror, he had even gotten better than Harry because Harry hated going on missions, as he had to be away from Ginny. Ron loved them, and he loved solving actual cases as well because it gave him something to think about. But he hadn't become one of those people who only cared about work, he knew he would never really be like that, he had started going out more and tried moving on. He had started seeing more girls, which the Prophet loved to report on, but he only had one or two actual relationships and they were in the last year and a half. He had dated one girl for around a month but he had dated a waitress from the Leaky Cauldron, Anna, for five months. They had only broken up a month or two ago. Ginny had set him up a few times, but he never liked any of the girls that Ginny chose. He was doing well though, he wasn't some pathetic tosser who gave up when his fiancé left him, he had just changed a little.

And now she was back. It seemed she came back the moment he had started to move on properly, and actually start having real relationships again, not flings. He rolled his eyes at the unfairness of her timing.

"I'm not going to be rude to her about something I know nothing about." His dad was saying sternly.

"You do know! Hermione left us, she left Ron!"

"Ginny!" Harry advised, "Drop it."

Ron threw a dirty look in his sister's direction, he was well aware that she left him, thank you very much. Although, he did agree with Ginny, more than he agreed with his dad. He honestly thought that his family ought to have a little bit more loyalty.

"I think we ought to reserve judgment, we have no idea what happened to Hermione." Percy said.

"Whatever happened to her was her own fault, Percy, she chose to leave everyone." George said, with more force than was necessary.

Whenever George and Percy disagreed nowadays, on anything, it always ended in petty snapping. Ron usually tried to intervene but he found that he couldn't be bothered today.

"I'm going home. Feel free to continue arguing about this like I'm not here." Ron said monotonously. Ron stood up and left before his family could react. He went out the back door to the apparation point, desperate to go back to his flat. Maybe he would go out after all.

oo00OO00oo

Harry watched as Ron left, he hadn't said much all day. Harry had gone into work this morning expecting to deal with an angry, or upset, Ron but Ron acted completely normal, as if nothing had happened. He didn't know how to deal with it.

In all honesty, Harry didn't know how to deal with Hermione being back either. It was such a shock, he had been dumbfounded yesterday when Kingsley had told them what happened. It hurt to know that Hermione could just up and leave after all that had happened to them, especially because she had always been the person that never left him, even in his darkest of times, Hermione had been there, and that had made her his sister. He had been so focused on helping Ron when she left that not many people noticed how much it affected him, except Ginny, but it had been one of the hardest times in his life because, even though she wasn't dead they didn't know that, he thought that she was because he never would have thought she would abandon them. He had grieved for her, and mourned for years because she was more than a sister, she and Ron had been his first friends, and family. She was a mixture of a sister, mother and best friend for him growing up.

When he saw her yesterday, he felt so relieved to see her, and all he wanted to do was embrace her, but he needed to know why she left, what possible excuse she could have. It sounded awful but he had always hoped something bad had happened, because the betrayal of her leaving them was so much more painful, and harder to deal with. He was so angry with her but at the same time he knew that he was the only person who believed, still, that she had some kind of reason for leaving because he knew Hermione better than anyone, except Ron but he also knew how she felt about Ron better than anyone, it was him who had to comfort her during the war when Ron left and he didn't believe that Hermione would give up that life she had with Ron for just anything. But, then again, he didn't really know her anymore, yesterday had proven that.

"Oh dear, do you think he'll be ok?" Molly fretted, staring after her son.

"He's going to be fine, dear. He's just shocked and upset."

"Well, what's the plan then?" George said.

The room fell silent, no one sure what to do about this situation. Harry didn't think they should do anything, but he knew from the conversation he had with Ginny last night that she thought they should be tracking down Hermione, knocking down her door and forcing her to tell the truth. Though despite Ginny's idea of getting the truth out of Hermione, she didn't actually plan on forgiving her, in fact Harry was certain that he had heard her mutter something about revenge but he hoped that was just pregnancy hormones. The thought made him smile.

"We need to find out what happened." Ginny said immediately.

Harry could practically hear the whole room rolling their eyes at the comment, she could be very predictable sometimes.

"Somehow, I don't think it's going to be that easy, Gin. Especially since she wouldn't even tell Ron what happened." George said.

"How did she seem, Harry?" Charlie said, "Did she seem…I don't know, happy?"

"I don't know," Harry said honestly, "I couldn't tell. She was emotional, and she was apologising, but she wouldn't tell us anything. It was weird, she's just so different."

Everyone began to mull this over, before Audrey spoke,

"And Kingsley knew about it the whole time. I can't believe that he would lie."

"Maybe he had to," Arthur said fairly, "If there was a job available at the Ministry that needed to be kept a secret, it's not his fault Hermione applied for it."

"Still," Audrey said, "He's a friend, he should have said that she was ok."

"But that was the problem with the ministry before the war," Percy pointed out, "Rules being broken for certain people, it led to the war. I think Kingsley made the right decision."

Harry rolled his eyes, Percy had changed but he was still a stickler for the rules. Harry was annoyed with Kingsley, thought he would not hold the decision against him, he would no longer consider him a close friend but he knew that being the Minister came with certain responsibilities so he accepted the decision Kingsley made. Harry knew Ron didn't see it that way though; the only thing Ron had said at work regarding the situation was to curse Kingsley for lying to them.

"What do we do then? Should we talk to Hermione?" Charlie asked the room, looking like he wanted to know what happened.

Harry didn't think this was a good idea, but maybe he was too close to Ron, and to the old Hermione, to comment.

"I don't think that's it's any of our business-"

"Excuse me, William Weasley!" Molly said angrily, "We have a right to know what happened, and I certainly will not settle until I know why she left. She broke my Ronnie's heart, and I will not sit by and let her get away with that. We treated that girl like family, I have always considered her my daughter and she hurt us all by leaving!"

Harry was surprised to see tears in Molly's eyes, although he was not shocked by the protectiveness of Ron. Hermione had gotten it easy when her and Ron began going out because she was already family, she did not have to go through what Fleur did but Harry knew she would get it much worse now. Even if Ron forgave her, which he hoped would happen eventually, Harry was unsure about how she would be treated by the Weasleys.

"Yes, but what Bill eez saying is zat zere are more important issues zan us knowing what happened." Fleur defended.

"Like what?" Angelina said, "I know that I want to know why Hermione left, Merlin knows how many times we've had to comfort Ron after he got drunk and passed out on our sofa!"

"Like Ron knowing!" Bill said, exasperatedly, "I'm not going to lie, I definitely want to know why Hermione left, and I'm angry at her too but, at the end of the day, she was Ron's fiancé, it's more important that Ron decides to handle this the way he wants."

"You're right, Bill." Percy said.

Harry could see the divide in the family, half of them angry at Hermione and the other half thinking that it was only Ron that mattered. Harry himself wasn't sure where he stood, he knew that it was Ron that was mostly affected but he knew that he wanted to know why Hermione left, but a part of him felt annoyed at the idea of anyone trying to force Hermione to come clean. Maybe there was still some older brotherly protectiveness there. So it was out of loyalty to the person who stayed with him, when no one else did, that he said what he did next.

"I think we should just leave her alone. Let Ron deal with it first, and make whatever decisions he needs to before saying our opinions. I don't think that Ron needs that." Harry could see his wife about to argue but he held up his hand, "I'm not saying that you all have to pretend to be happy with her, but just let Ron deal with it first."

"That's a good point Harry," Arthur smiled at him, "And I completely agree. This is Ron's life. We should all be trying to support him."

"So we're meant to ignore what she did? Walk up to her and hug her and say that if Ron's ok with it, so are we?" George demanded, "I'm not going to let that happen, Ron needs to move on, he's better off without her."

"Maybe," Arthur allowed, "But we should not punish her for something we know very little about. And no, I am not saying that you have to forgive Hermione, I am just saying that it is not fair to argue about the situation like we have been, while Ron is here or to force our beliefs onto him."

Harry could see that Molly, George, Ginny and Charlie were annoyed with this compromise but they nodded anyway. Though, Harry knew that those four had the worst tempers of all the Weasleys, except Ron, and that none of them would hold their tongues, if they happened to run into Hermione.

"Come on Ginny, we should get home." Harry said to her, after looking at the clock. It had been a long couple of days.

**Song for this Chapter: Change by Sugababes (If you get a change listen to this, the lyrics kind of describe everyone's (Hermione, Ron, Hermione's mum) emotions in this chapter.**


	7. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the delay with this chapter, it was supposed to be up like two days ago but I had it all written, and then forgot to save the chapter. So I had to start again, which was awful. I can't believe that I have 49 reviews already, that's amazing so thank you so much for reviewing! Responses to reviews:**

**Jo: Thanks! I hope you like this chapter**

**Guest: Thanks for leaving such a long review, and for telling me exactly what you like and don't like. I'd say that is definitely a cliché but in my story it's not that much a part of it. Ron's not an alcoholic or anything because she left, I just thought that at first he would go out more to cope and such. I wanted Ron to be successful even though she's gone, so if I'm not portraying**Tdfinchel** that please tell me. Someone could definitely love Ron, it was always his decision. I'd say that most of the answers will be given about half way through the story though.**

**Guest: Nosy reporter? Never thought of that lol. Thanks for reviewing.**

**Tdfinchel: I'm glad that someone feels sorry for Hermione, I do too. I will definitely continue this story. I think you get **_**some **_**insight into Hermione's job in this chapter, and more in the next few**

**Guest: Glad you like Jean, it was hard to write. Thanks for reviewing**

Chapter 6

Ron jumped awake, just in time to see the familiar silver badger dance into the room. A voice came immediately from the patronus,

"Weasley, go to 31 Bushwillow Street as fast as you can. There was a murder there this morning, Potter's going, too."

Ron sighed as Reynolds' patronus disappeared, a glance at his clock told him that it was 5am. It was times like these Ron wished he had taken a normal 9 to 5 job. No matter how much he loved being an auror, the hours were awful, and Ron couldn't remember the last time he had gotten a full night's sleep.

Ron dressed quickly and, after scarfing down a slice of toast, apparated to the location his boss had given him.

He arrived on a fairly small street with about ten houses. Each house looked exactly the same: they were all white with red trimmed windowsills and doors. Personally, Ron always hated these kinds of streets, where everything was the same, so neat and with no personality. Maybe it was because the Burrow was such a contrast to a street like this.

Ron didn't have much time to observe the street, though, since it was crawling with his fellow aurors. He was a little surprised to see how many aurors were there; there had to be about 20. Most of them were going door to door, likely trying to find witnesses. The numberof aurors told Ron that this was either a brutal murder, or else it was someone very important.

Ron reached the house that there seemed to be the most activity at, and he was met almost immediately by Harry.

"Hey," Ron said, and added with a nod, "What's happened?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Ellie Mathewson was murdered here, in her own home. The husband found the body half an hour ago; he was out at a bachelor party." Harry explained, "She worked for the ministry, our department actually. And Reynolds says that we're in charge of this one."

"No problem," Ron said, "But what did she do? I don't think I've ever heard of her."

"She was on the board; she mainly created new ideas to keep the department up to date, bring in new practices, that kind of thing, although she was involved in a few of the bigger decisions, too."

"Right, do you know how she died?"

"Well, that's where it gets weird," Harry began, "Jefferson says that the method of death was strangulation, but there were no signs of it on her body, not even a bruise on her neck."

Ron frowned; that was certainly unusual. The only spell that could kill with leaving a mark was the killing curse, but Jefferson knew his stuff, and if he said that Ellie Mathewson was strangled, then she was.

When Ron and harry entered the house, they followed the trail of people and found themselves in what appeared to be a sitting room. It was fairly basic with two black sofas, a coffee table and some family photos on the fireplace.

Everything looked ordinary and neat. In fact, you wouldn't have known that anything had happened in this room. Even the body that Ron could see lying on the sofa looked as if she could be just laying there sleeping, were it not for her complete stillness.

"He's done this before," Ron said, thinking out loud, "The place is too normal; it doesn't look like anything happened."

Harry nodded beside him and said,

"I thought so, too. Maybe this is work related; it looks like a planned killing."

Ron agreed that work seemed like the most likely motive behind this death, and now they just had to find out what she had been involved in at work. What could have gotten her killed? It wasn't like her job was one where you made enemies.

"Seamus," Ron said, having just noticed his friend, "Can you go back to the ministry and look into what Ellie Mathewson was working on?"

"Sure," Seamus answered, already backing out the door.

Ron observed the room again. He found it quite eerie how unassuming the place looked; there seemed to be nothing normal about this case. His thoughts wandered back to the cause of death; what could have caused that?

"We need to get someone to look into whatever spell they used to kill her," he said to Harry.

"Yes, Jefferson said that they're looking into it now. Let's go talk to the husband, see if there's anything that he knows."

"Good idea; he might know what his wife was up to at work."

oo00OO00oo

Ron and Harry exited the lift a little over four hours later; it had been a long morning. They discovered that Ellie Mathewson had no enemies, no one had heard or seen anything the night before, and her husband had absolutely no idea what she was up to at work or that she was in any kind of trouble. He had been absolutely distraught. Witnessing grief had always been the hardest part of their job as aurors.

"So, what'd you think's going on?" Harry asked, pulling Ron out of his thoughts as they passed the receptionist's desk.

"No idea, mate, it's a weird-"

Ron was interrupted as someone rammed into him unexpectedly. He had a small crash, and when he looked down he noticed that the other person had been knocked off her feet.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm late and I wasn't looking," the female voice stammered.

"It's fine," Ron said, as he and Harry helped the person to her feet.

The woman had blonde hair that reached her shoulders, and her vibrant green eyes were her most noticeable feature.

Ron recognised her immediately.

"Sorry, again," she called over her shoulder, as she went down a corridor to the left and entered the latest department of the Ministry.

"She's one of them, isn't she?" Harry said, his voice sounding far away.

"Yeah, I think so." Ron said, pulling his eyes away from the _Prevention of Potential Travesties _Department's door.

The pair descended into silence as they turned to the right and entered their own department.

Ron could feel a muscle jumping in his jaw. She had been back nearly a month now, and he had been doing an excellent job of avoiding her, considering that they worked in the same place and that she seemed determined to see him. It had certainly been a shock to see a new department crop up, and he tried not to think about what they were up to, since the name didn't give all that much of an idea anyway. It had been even more surprising to see that she was the Head of this new department, but it made it all the easier to blame her for what she done.

"What're you going to do about it all?" Harry said suddenly, looking a little nervous, "I don't think you can ignore her forever, Ron."

"If you are referring to my ex-fiancé, then I don't see why I can't," he answered calmly. "I said everything I had to say that night at St Mungo's; it's not my fault if she can't accept that."

Harry sighed, but he did drop the topic. Ron was grateful ; he felt that Harry was more on his side than anyone because he just let Ron deal with this mess himself, unlike the rest of his family who liked to offer him _advice_ at every opportunity.

They walked through the department and found it abuzz with activity. Ron was about to go into his office when he noticed Seamus waving them over.

"Come on, Seamus is looking for us," he said to Harry, going over to Seamus' desk and sitting down in the chair alongside it.

"Did you find out what she was working on?" Harry asked immediately.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," Seamus said, sitting across from them in his chair, "I went to the records room, but it said that the information was confidential, and that I didn't have the security clearance to access the information."

"What?" Ron exclaimed, "You're an auror, that's the top level of security clearance."

"I thought so too, but apparently not."

"Maybe she was involved in something important then," Harry said thoughtfully, "Did you manage to find out anything?"

"Um, yes, actually I did." Seamus said uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck.

Ron noticed Seamus throw an unsure look his way, and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Well what was it?" Harry asked.

"Apparently, Ellie Mathewson was closely linked with the _Prevention of Potential Travesties_ Department, and they're the only ones who have security clearance to access her file" Seamus said awkwardly.

"What?" Ron seethed, not believing his ears.

"What right did they have to see that file if they weren't aurors?"

"I don't know why."

Ron stood up abruptly, determined to get to the bottom of this.

"Ron, where're you going?" Harry asked.

"First, I'm going to Reynolds. I want to know why the hell a department that does nothing suddenly has a higher security clearance than ours" Ron answered angrily.

"Ron, he probably-"

"Oi, Potter, Weasley! You're both to go to the Head's office now! Law Enforcement Head, not Reynolds" someone called from across the room.

"Maybe we're going to find out after all," Harry commented, as they left the Auror department.

oo00OO00oo

"Tell me, why are we doing this again?"

"Nate, if you don't stop complaining, I'll kill you and then you won't have to do this ever again," Ally responded cheerfully.

"And if I have to tell you why we're doing this again, you're going to be doing everyone else's reports, too," Hermione snapped.

This seemed to shut Nate up, and the group went back to their work. They were making reports, on absolutely everything they had done during the last four years for the ministry's records. It was tiring work, and very boring at times. Hermione lifted her quill off the parchment, leaned back in her chair, and looked around her.

It was a fairly typical morning: her team had assembled in their small department for another morning of memory exercises. The department they were given was spacious enough, considering only seven people worked for it. It was a large, high roofed room, filled with desks, planning boards, and chairs. It had a few doors leading to other rooms, including an interrogation room, a staff room, and a filing room. The walls were painted a lilac colour. Hermione's desk was near the top of the room, and she could see out the window to muggle London.

They were making reports on everything they had done while they were away, every watch, battle, death, and every conversation that they had about the task. It was actually quite hard to remember these details, and Hermione frequently reprimanded herself for not having her team do this all along; it would certainly have left them less work to do now. She had spent the last few weeks trying to remember the many surveillance missions she had done with Nate; at least she hadn't come across anything that would be painful to remember yet, thankfully.

"I seriously can't remember this night at all," Jake said, breaking the companionable silence. "Can't I just leave a memory of it?"

Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes; everyone said this at least ten times a day, but what did they expect her to do about it?

"Your memory wouldn't be completely reliable, and the ministry want to have easily accessed information. If we all just left memories, it would take a long time to find what you're searching for," Hermione reminded him, as patiently as she could. She was feeling quite stressed today.

"Well I can't write a report if I can't remember, can I?"

"Jake?"

"Yes, Martin?"

"Shut up."

Hermione sniggered a little as Jake looked embarrassed. Martin had that effect on the team- whenever the calm, kind Martin told someone to shut up then that person knew they were being annoying.

"Jake, come over here," Ally said, from her seat beside Jonathan, "I might remember whatever night you're working on."

Hermione sent Ally a grateful smile, as Jake made his way towards his partner.

It was in times like these that Hermione was grateful that they had all been assigned partners by the ministry. It had certainly made missions easier. Nate was her partner, which probably explained why she was closest to him. Nate and Beth were who she got along with best out of everyone. Beth and Jonathan were partners, and Ally and Jake were partners, too. Ally and Jonathan tended to stick with each other, while Jake preferred to be alone mostly. Martin's partner, Kelly, had been killed. Hermione had always gotten along well with Kelly, too.

She pushed these thoughts aside and went back to her report, suddenly grateful for the distraction that the report provided.

Their peaceful work was once again interrupted, as Beth came rushing into the room.

"I know that I'm a little late, but you would not believe the morning I've had."

"A little late? You're two hours late, Beth," Martin pointed out, as Beth threw a smile at him.

"That's not too bad, is it?"

Martin laughed a little, and turned back to his work.

"So, are we still doing reports?"

"Yep, you weren't late enough to miss that." Nate grinned at her. "Good night last night?"

Beth stuck her tongue out at her friend, while Hermione tried to hide her smile at her clueless friends. Beth plopped herself down at her desk, before turning to face Hermione.

"Guess who I've just seen?" She said, "I'll give you a clue, he is quite good-looking and ginger."

Hermione grit her teeth, and gripped her quill tighter. Beth was always trying to get her to talk about Ron; it was a subject that she was obsessed with. Hermione personally thought that she fancied herself a bit of a match-maker. Beth seemed to bring Ron up at every possible opportunity recently, and it was starting to annoy Hermione.

A tension had entered the room when Beth brought up Ron; it seemed that everyone else but her had grasped that this was a topic that Hermione didn't want to talk about.

"That's very nice, Beth."

"Have you talked to him?"

Had she talked to him? Ha. She couldn't get anywhere near him to talk to him. It had been a month, and one would think that working in the same place would guarantee that they would eventually run into each other but Ron was always one step ahead of her. She had gone to his department several times, but she was always told that he was in a meeting and at lunch time, he was always gone by the time she got to his office. She had considered going over to their, well, _his_ flat a few times but had quickly dismissed it. For one, she wasn't even sure that he still lived there, and secondly, the conversation they had a St Mungo's kept repeating in her head, and after all he had said, she couldn't bring herself to completely force her company on him. At least trying to talk to him at work gave him the chance to avoid her, which was a chance he clearly took.

"Drop it, Beth," Hermione said finally.

Something in her tone seemed to warn Beth, and she backed off, for once.

"So what time can we leave at?" Beth asked instead.

"You're here five seconds, and you want to know when you can leave?" Jonathan said disbelievingly, speaking for the first time in ages.

"Yes, well, I have plans tonight and I want to know what time can go get ready at," Beth answered, although Hermione noticed that she directed her words more at Nate than at Jonathan.

"What plans?" Nate said, rising to the bait, as always.

"If you get four reports done you can leave, if not you can leave at half six," Hermione said, before Nate and Beth could begin the conversation that was sure to follow.

"Oh, good. Well, I have a date."

Hermione drowned out the chatter of her friends, and once again tried to concentrate on the task at hand.

But not five seconds later she found herself interrupted once again, this time by a flying memo landing on her desk. Sighing, she picked up the note, wondering if she would even get one report finished today. She read,

_Hermione Granger, Head of Prevention of Potential Travesties Department,_

_Could you please come to a quick meeting at the Head of Magical Law Enforcement Department as soon as you can? We have a new task for your department and I would like to speak to you about it as soon as possible. Thank you._

_Matilda Jones, Head of Magical Law Enforcement Department_

Hermione frowned at the somewhat formal note. What new task could they have for them? Curious, Hermione got up from her chair and put away her report.

"Listen, I have a meeting to go to," Hermione said to her team, "I have to go now, so can you all just continue until I'm back? It probably won't last that long anyway."

"Sure, what's the meeting about?" Nate asked while stifling a yawn.

"No idea, something about a new task for us."

"Yes! Anything would be better than writing these." Jake grinned.

oo00OO00oo

Hermione stopped outside the office, taking a deep breath. For some reason she felt nervous about this meeting. She could hear voices form inside the room, so she knocked sharply on the door.

"Come in."

Hermione followed the instructions and entered the room. She had to supress a gasp when she noticed who was in the office.

Harry and Ron were seated in front of Jones. They turned to look at her when the door opened, and Hermione lost a bit of her nerve when she noticed the look of fury on Ron's face. She avoided their eyes as she stepped completely into the room.

"You can't be bloody serious," Ron snarled, looking at Jones.

"Afraid so, Weasley," she answere. "Miss Granger, take a seat. Good. Now I'm sure you were wondering what you're doing here."

Hermione nodded, not really trusting herself to speak.

"You remember Ellie Mathewson? She was the one who interviewed you and your team when you got back, and the one who put forward the idea of your department."

Hermione nodded again, remembering the uncomfortable interview over a month ago and the serious witch leading it. What did she have to do with anything?

"This morning her husband came home after a night out, only to find his wife's body on the living room sofa." Jones said this in quite a detached voce, but there was sadness in her eyes.

Hermione was shocked, and she had a bad feeling in her stomach at this news. Who would want to target Ellie Mathewson? Who'd kill her? What did it have to do with her team?

"Now," Jones continued, "The husband says she got along with everyone and had no enemies, and there were no witnesses that saw anyone entering the house."

Hermione digested this, but could not help feeling confused as to why she had been summoned. She could feel both Ron's and Harry's eyes on her and her nerves increased.

"That's awful but, forgive me, I don't see what this has to do with me. This is auror stuff, right?"

Ron snorted, and when she looked at him, he pierced her with his glare and commented snarkily,

"You would think so, wouldn't you?"

"Actually, Miss Granger, we have reason to believe that this case was more your level of expertise."

"What? Why?"

"Ellie Mathewson was strangled to death, which was confirmed, but there were no signs of strangulation on her body," Jones informed her.

It was like a light bulb switched on in her head. Her eyes widened in realization- no, that couldn't be right. It was impossible, wasn't it? They were gone.

"You know the spell?" Harry said, speaking for the first time.

Hermione noticed that Ron threw him an annoyed look, probably for sounding for more curious than annoyed.

"Yes, we've had experience with it in the past. But…it shouldn't be possible." Hermione directed the last part of this to Jones, knowing that the older woman would understand what she meant.

"Yes, I know that. Of course, the spell used may be insignificant and unrelated to the murder, just used by someone who escaped the explosion that you mentioned," Jones said, "But, considering that Ellie Mathewson was involved in your department, too, I think it would be best if your team handled this case."

"Bullocks! You can't be serious," Ron snapped. "This is an auror's job!"

"Not this time, Weasley. I'm officially handing the case over to your department, Granger."

Hermione jumped as both Harry and Ron let out sounds of frustration.

"This is ridiculous, I'm leaving." Ron said.

Both men stood up and crossed the room to reach the door and heard,

"Potter, Weasley, I'm serious. This is not your case. You will both be fired if you interfere."

Hermione knew that they had been planning on continuing the mission by the looks on their faces. It seemed as if they got Jones' meaning, however, as they both nodded once and left, slamming the door behind them.

"Now, Granger, I now that you aren't used to working in this environment but we feel that the background your team has this type of murder is invaluable, and it should be easier for your team to work from the ministry."

Hermione nodded, accepting the mission straight away. Jones continued to talk, but Hermione began to drown her out. Dread and shock were coursing through her veins, shaking her to the very core. What was going on? That spell should be gone. They had all been killed, hadn't they?


	8. Chapter 7

**Hey, here's the next chapter. I'm not sure what I think of it yet, but since so many people wanted answers to what was going on I decided to take that on board. This chapter was always going to be in the story, just a few chapters away but I think it fits in here reasonably well. It's 33 pages long! I have never written anything this long in my life, and it was unbelievably hard. I haven't got everything in here, since so much could've been included but, if everyone is interested, I might do another chapter like this, filled with memories. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be, I will still try and get a chapter a week done but my life's hectic right now. I got some bad news this week, about my family, so that will take priority but I will probably still continue as normal. There are a lot the OCs in this chapter, and very little Ron, but since it is Hermione's time away that had to happen, sorry.**

**Reviews that need responded to;**

**Guest:**** Thanks, glad you're enjoying it.**

**Guest****: It's explained here why Ron and Harry aren't allowed on the case, basically because it is Hermione's department that are experienced with that spell.**

**Tdfinche****l: Thanks, so glad that you're enjoying it!**

**Jo:**** Thank you, your reviews are always great and helpful. I started working on Heroes Again this week, but, as I said, I have so much personal stuff going on that I;m not sure when I will get around to it, hopefully a new chapter in the next few weeks.**

**Guest****: They're not quite the amateurs as you would think, they have done the same amount of training as aurors, just a different type and quicker. I don't think you're going to like how many OCs are in this chapter lol, but I killed off 23 off already. Thanks for reviewing.**

**Gogolax****: Thanks :) Hopefully you are enjoying the story.**

Chapter 7

"Ok, Miss Granger, it will feel weird when these memories go back into your mind; you'll feel like you were there again for most of them," the ministry worker told her. "Although, if they're good memories, it will be fun."

Hermione smiled at the kind, old worker, even though she knew that the majority of these memories weren't fun.

It seemed that Jake had finally gotten his wish now that their team was needed for the Ellie Mathewson case and they had to cut short the writing of the reports. For the time being, the ministry was content with just having memories of their mission.

"Okay, dear, you should probably sit down. These can be quite overwhelming. You'll only feel a few of them , probably the ones that are the most significant to you. Ready?"

Hermione nodded, closing her eyes, as the man pushed his wand to her temple, and whispered a spell she had never heard before.

Suddenly, she couldn't hear the man speaking anymore; his voice was drowned out as she remembered another scene in these very halls.

_Hermione hurried down the halls of the ministry of magic, glancing at her watch every so often. She was nowhere near late, as she was never late, but she was later than she liked to be in the morning, that was for sure._

_Ron always said it was weird that she voluntarily imposed an early start time for herself at work, since "normal" people struggled to get into work at the time they were given. She assumed that normal people meant him, as she was certain that if she wasn't there in the mornings then Ron would never be at work on time._

_The thought of her fiancé brought a smile to her face. Fiancé. Didn't that word sound great? She had to bite back a grin; it was still so odd to think that she and Ron were engaged. It had happened around a week ago, and actually, it had been amazing._

_Well, it had been amazing to her, anyway. Anyone else that heard about the proposal had been appalled at how it had happened, and they were quick to point this out to poor Ron. In hindsight, she knew that it was her fault that the proposal had gone awry, but Ron knew that she hated surprises; he should have known that she would hate not knowing what he was up to._

_She had been suspicious. Ron had been acting for weird for weeks. She almost thought that he wanted to break up, so when he suggested that they go for a walk, in the winter, she wanted to know why. She had been so certain that he was trying to dump her, gently, that she refused to make it easy for him._

_Ron kept insisting that she come out for a walk, while Hermione kept insisting that she was fine where she was. Of course that had led to a huge argument, with both their tempers reaching the ceiling. _

_Eventually, Ron had snapped and told her that she ruined the surprise, and then he pulled out an engagement ring and stunned her into silence._

_Then they had started laughing, really laughing, the kind where you lose your breath but you just can't stop. He had proposed to her then, in the living room of their small flat, after a huge argument, with both their faces bright red from laughter and it had just felt…right. Hermione was glad that they didn't have the cliché "go-for-a-walk" proposal because even through it would have been sweet and romantic, it wasn't them. They were passionate and unpredictable. So that's why she ignored everyone when they talked about how unromantic Ron's proposal was, because it was perfect, and romantic, for her._

_The elevator clanged and Hermione found herself on her floor. She had been working for the Department for regulation and Control of Magical Creatures since she left Hogwarts a few months ago. It was the perfect job for her, and she loved it._

_Although everything moved slower than she had expected, she did understand that she could change ancient traditions of the Wizarding World in just a few months or, at the very least, a few years._

"_Morning," Hermione said to the secretary as she passed her._

"_Oh, Miss Granger, wait a moment!" the secretary called._

_Hermione walked back over to the desk, and waited patiently as the woman began to shift through memos._

"_This arrived this morning. It just said to tell you that the Minister would like you to come up to his office when you arrive."_

"_Ok, no problem." Hermione smiled, heading towards the lifts once again._

_She wondered why Kingsley would want to see her; surely nothing had happened? Fear bubbled in her stomach; Ron and Harry were on an auror training mission. Had something gone wrong?_

_Hermione willed herself to calm down; if something had really happened then she would have been reached at home before this, not summoned to a meeting when she arrived at work._

_As she passed Kingsley's assistant and reached the office door, she had calmed herself down, and convinced herself that this was just a silly work problem. Maybe someone had complained about her work again; that was becoming a common occurrence._

"_Hermione," Kingsley greeted, as she came into the room and sat down across from him._

_He didn't look well, Hermione noticed. He looked stressed and tired, and his smile was a little too forced for her liking._

"_You wanted to see me?"_

"_Yes, I have something to discuss-"_

"_It's not Ron, is it? Or Harry? They're okay?"_

"_Oh, don't worry, the mission seems to be going well," Kingsley reassured her, "And it is only a training mission after all."_

_Hermione nodded, feeling her heartbeat resume a more normal rate._

"_What's this about then?"_

"_Ah, it's a rather…difficult subject, I admit." Kingsley said, "You see, the ministry is trying to improve its practices, and we feel now is the best time for that. Everything's settling down again, and we have the chance to reform, which you already know."_

_Hermione nodded, wondering where Kingsley was going with this._

"_To do this, we've been having an evaluation of all the departments and practices in the ministry." Kingsley went on, "And we've made changes, as you know. But, the topic of the war came up, and more importantly, how we could avid anything like that in future. We came up with a few ideas, but nothing significant until a few weeks ago when we were contacted by the French minister of magic. You know how the French helped in the war, right? They sent many of their aurors over, and I hate to admit that the majority of them were lost."_

_Hermione nodded again, wondering why this felt more important than the usual update on the ministry's status that she got from Kingsley. Maybe it was because she hadn't asked for this one._

"_Well, they were having a problem over there. Murders, quite a lot of them, and all rather gruesome. They were tracking the person who they suspected, and found that it was a group. They don't know who they are or what they're after, but they did discover that their leader, the person they were tracking, was originally from here. He left for France during the war. Vincent Williams. Basically, the French asked us for a favour. They're overstretched at the minute, and they want us to handle this case, just this one, since he was from here and we would find it easier to get more information about him."_

_Hermione felt like she was listening to a twisted story, one that drew her in but that she felt wary of at the same time._

"_We put a few aurors on the case, who tracked Vincent to a hideout in the South of France. They found out as much as they could about him, although there wasn't much," Kingsley explained, "Which brings us back to the reviewing of the ministry that I was talking about earlier. You see, we want to deal with this right. We want this guy to be stopped before he can cause any real damage, but he has a huge following, maybe because he's not selective like Voldemort was. So we were trying to come up with ideas in how to deal with this, and since we haven't any substantial proof that this guy is up to no good, we decided that the best idea would be to monitor him, closely, and wait for complete proof so we can arrest him. But with the Death Eater still on the loose, we can't afford to send many aurors off, especially since it could be nothing."_

"_So what are you going to do?" Hermione asked, intrigued._

"_There were a few ideas, but the most popular is the idea of a new department."_

"_Solely for this?" Hermione asked sceptically._

"_To begin with, call it a trial run. A couple of months tracking this group, bringing back a report, and then another evaluation. Then we can arrest them, if we find anything conclusive." Kingsley continued, "To tell you the truth, we wanted to bring in a new department for a while, and this gives us an opportunity. We couldn't quite agree on who should run the department though, since it's not exactly a job you need qualifications for-"_

"_You mean you're just going to send normal people away to track murderers?" Hermione said disbelievingly._

"_Of course not; they'll be trained for the first few months before they begin their task."_

_Hermione said nothing; this plan had merits and it would be good for the community to have another group, apart from aurors, to protect the Wizarding world, but she could see a lot of flaws in the plan._

"_Anyway, when deciding who would be good to lead this group, the general consensus was…the golden trio."_

_Hermione let out a snort of laughter; people were always nominating the three of them for things nowadays. _

_Hermione's smile drooped when she noticed that Kingsley looked quite serious._

"_Oh come on, you're not considering that, are you?" Hermione demanded._

"_Hermione, be reasonable, you three are arguably the most skilled witch in the Wizarding world, and people have confidence in you- who better to lead a completely new department? Of course, the decision of who can go is up to you. Maybe you won't even consider it, but I think you three should discuss it."_

"_Don't be ridicilious, Kingsley." She snapped._

"_Hermione, you are the only people that the board will allow to lead this team."_

_Hermione glared at him, what did he think they were? The ministry's puppets?_

"_We are not going. We already have jobs," She said angrily, "We have _lives_ Kingslye, what do you expect us to do? Just leave? What about our families?"_

_Hermione seethed; she couldn't believe this, after everything they had done, only a little over a year ago, they were once again expected to "save the world." How dare the ministry?_

"_Hermione, I know what you have all done. But as Minister of magic, I need to look for the best person possible to lead this group. You can understand why I want it to be one of you three. I know Ron and Harry are on a mission, that's why I'm just speaking to you; you see we want to start the training as soon as possible, so that the mission can actually start. We can't risk them moving."_

_For Hermione, only one thing had registered in that sentence._

"_One? You don't mean all of us?"_

"_That was the initial idea, but we thought this way more practical. One of you can go, and the other two can continue here doing the good you're already doing, for the few months the other is away."_

"_None of us are doing this!" Hermione shouted._

"_Think about it, Hermione. Ron and Harry are training to be aurors anyway, this will just be like their first mission."_

_Hermione rolled her eyes, she could tell already that this job was fairly different from being an auror. Although a small part of her worried that Ron and Harry wouldn't see this the way that she did. Would they run off?_

_They were noble, ridiculously noble, and if they thought that they could save lives then tey would certainly leave._

"_Hermione," Kingsley said, "This guy is dangerous, I know that I said we weren't sure if it was him but if it is, then we could have a potential tragedy on our hands. He is ruthless, and we can't find a pattern to his killings. You know that I wouldn't ask this of you three unless it was urgent. I am begging for help. How many people are going to sign up for a mission like this unless they have someone they know will lead them? To have one of you three, the Golden Trio, would instil confidence in this department."_

_Hermione sat back, stunned into silence. She could not believe this. After everything they had done, they were once again expected to drop everything for the "greater good." It was so unfair, and Hermione knew that she might sound like a whiney child, but she wished that it didn't always have to be them. Would it ever stop? She knew, though, that neither she nor her boys would ignore this. They would never sit back and refuse to help people, especially when lives were at risk. But now _their_ lives were going to be at risk. Again. She wondered how Ron and Harry would take this; they were still adjusting to auror training, and she knew that neither of them wanted to even consider anything else as a job, but at the same time, this mission sounded an awful lot like being an auror, and that was not something Hermione wanted to do._

_They would have to talk about it, she supposed. She knew what they were like, and knew neither Ron nor Harry would ever let her take this job. They would both side together in the interest of protecting her. But then one of them would have to go. She couldn't bear Ron leaving now; it wold be awful being apart for months, especially since he would be doing something risky. She worried enough now when he went on auror missions, and those normally didn't last long. She couldn't have Ron leave. But Harry…he had finally gotten things right with Ginny again, they had been rocky since the war ended, and Harry had to do a lot to prove that he wouldn't leave her again, apart from auror missions. Ginny would be devastated if Harry left again, and she knew that Harry hated being away from Ginny, too._

_This was awful. The cowardly part of her wanted her to tell Kingsley that there was not a chance that any of them would lead this group, that he could find someone else if the mission was so low-risk. But the other, larger part of her knew that this wouldn't just go away, Kingsley would speak to Ron and Harry himself if she didn't, and neither of them would even consider taking the cowardly way out, brave Gryffindors that they were._

"_Hermione, you don't have to answer today; I know that you will want to talk to Ron and Harry about this."_

_Hermione looked up at him as she mulled over his words. She took this into consideration, and her sharp brain came up with two choices._

_This mission would have to be done, and one of the trio would end up doing it, but, if she went to Ron and Harry with this, then it wouldn't be her. _

_She knew what she was about to do was awful, deceitful and oh so wrong, but of the two choices, she would have to choose the one that she could live with. Maybe that was the real cowardly way out after all._

"_No, I'll do it-"_

"_Hermione, you'll want to talk to Ron and Harry," Kingsley said, sounding shocked._

"_No, I don't," Hermione said, taking a deep breath, "You offered me the job, Kingsley, so I'm going to take it. We both know perfectly well that those two wouldn't let me go; they're too noble."_

"_Hermione, as a friend of yours, I really think that you should consider speaking to the boys."_

"_No, you said it yourself Kingsley, you can't afford to send aurors off to chase someone that might not even be a threat," Hermione said. Now that she had decided what to do she was determined to fight for it. "Besides, Ron and Harry will be the best, they'll get all the Death Eaters, and then I'll come back in a few months and we can tell them what happened."_

_From the look that Kingsley gave her, they both knew that it would not be that easy._

"_This operation is a complete secret, Hermione. You may not be allowed to tell them what happened."_

"_Fine, but I want you to do something for me."_

"_What?"_

"_Don't…don't tell them that they could've gone, that it was between the three of us," Hermione said, pleading a little._

"_Hermione, you understand that the only way they could even be told about this department was if they were going to be offered a job. If I don't offer them the job then they can't be told; it's a rule- one that anyone involved will take an oath on," Kingsley said sternly._

"_I understand." Hermione said, "I don't want them to feel guilty, or to worry."_

"_Hermione, if you leave without mentioning this, then you could destroy everything in your life; you'd be dropping everything!" Kingsley implored._

_Hermione gulped, but nodded anyway, as the stroked the ring on her finger. For once, she would protect them, even of it was for her own reasons._

_oo00OO00oo_

_Hermione rushed through the ministry, having just arrived a few minutes before. She was a mess. Really. She was so emotional all week, ever since Kingsley's meeting, and she was surprised that no one had suspected that something was off._

_Of course Ron asked her about ten times today day if she was ok, but she had just told him that she was feeling unwell._

_Unfortunately, the training mission had gone on longer than they had anticipated. Ron had only arrived home last night, and she had been so relieved to see him that she didn't think about her new job, like she had done all week. But she had certainly treasured every moment of last night. It would be months before she saw Ron again._

_She felt sick to her stomach, as she made her way to the meeting room. Today was the day. She was leaving; she was doing something that she would never be able to undo. She was going to lead a team._

_Dear Merlin, what had she gotten herself into?_

_She calmed herself down before she opened the door, and straightened any creases in her black skirt. This was important. She would be strong through this, and then she would get home faster. If she only thought about what she was going to do, she knew that she would never leave._

_Hermione opened the door and found herself amongst a rather large crowd. She knew there would be thirty people on her team, but somehow seeing all of these people who depended on her made everything more real. She would not mess this up._

"_Ah, Hermione," Kingsley said, making his way over to her and smiling forcefully. "Listen up everyone, this is Hermione Granger. Head of the Prevention of Potential Travesties Department."_

_Hermione smiled nervously, as there was a polite clatter of applause. Though she did notice that many of the people looked friendly, they also looked sceptical. How was she going to lead this team? Hermione wanted to crawl away in that moment; she wasn't cut out for this._

_oo00OO00oo_

_Hermione tuned onto her side as silently as she could so as not to disturb the other four women in the room, and tried to get comfortable in the tiny bunk. She couldn't sleep, and had mostly given up after two hours._

_She missed home, she missed her old job, but mostly she missed Ron. It was pathetic, she knew, considering that this was her first night away, but she couldn't get rid of the feeling that she was making a horrible mistake._

_She knew that she was. It wasn't logical to accept this mission, considering that she had no experience in this field whatsoever, whatever Kingsley liked to believe, and she was dreading training tomorrow. Most of the people that had been recruited were aurors, aurors in training or had just applied to the auror academy, and she knew that she was going to humiliate herself in front of them._

_She didn't have much of a chance to get to know her team, they had spent most of the day at the ministry getting the final details of their mission and signing contracts. It was all very overwhelming, but at the same time the plan seemed so basic that she didn't see how it could possibly succeed._

_There would be three months of solid training, observing the targets, reporting back to the ministry, and then arresting them, if they were indeed guilty. They were supposed to send work back to the ministry at least once a week._

_Hermione noticed the tiny room get a little darker, and she wrapped the flimsy blanket tighter around her body; for the first time in her life she felt a little scared of the dark and of the unknown._

_She just wanted to be home in her small flat with the tiny bedroom and thick quilts. She wanted to be lying in bed with her amazing fiancé and planning her wedding instead of being on some stupid, top secret mission._

_oo00OO00oo_

_Hermione aimed again; she had missed the last seven of the moving targets and she knew that she needed to improve on aiming her spells._

_She sighed and got back to work once again. Training was gruelling; it was basically the same as auror training, but more specialized to the type of work they would be doing._

_It was also very physical, and Hermione found herself glad that her fitness had improved in the last few years, what with all the running around she done during the war. She dreaded to think what her fourteen year old self would have been like should she have gone through this training then._

_Hermione looked around her at the rest of her team; they were all mixed up and working on separate things. The training was going well so far and was nearly complete._

_They had been here for two months, and were trained by ex-aurors from morning to night. It was exhausting, but Hermione could see the benefits, and it was fascinating whenever they looked into ancient forms of magic to use. They had found many useful protection spells already._

_Hermione was also receiving training on how to lead the team and, if she was honest, that was going awfully. She was given advice by the most senior member of her team, Kelly, a married mother of two, who was particularly helpful and was one of the few friends Hermione had made. Kelly had been an auror, and was the one who had taken the case originally but had transferred to this department to continue it. Her partner Martin had done the same._

_The team didn't really bother about Hermione; they listened to her and were polite, but Hermione knew that they didn't respect her, and most didn't think she was capable._

_She had heard one girl, Beth; say that she thought Hermione only got the job because of her status as one third of the Golden Trio. Hermione didn't know how to react to this, so she just pretended not to hear her. She personally thought that too, would she be in this position if she wasn't in the Golden Trio? Definitely not. But, at the same time, she had learned how to handle these situations by being in the Golden Trio._

_Hermione's partner, Nate, was the only other person she had really connected with. He was childish and immature, but still very funny. He reminded her of the Weasleys actually, a mix of Fred, George and Ron, and this was a comfort to her, and she felt that she had a small reminder of home whenever she was around Nate._

_She had been getting on reasonably well with everyone though, except that Beth girl; Hermione just knew that they would never get along._

_To be honest, she couldn't wait until they started the mission and either proved or disproved that Vincent Williams was a criminal murderer, and then she could go home and hope that Ron wasn't too angry. They would get married, and forget all about this stupid department._

_Hermione went back to her aiming practice; she needed to get this right. She couldn't have anyone think that she wasn't up to the job._

_oo00OO00oo_

_Hermione gasped as the underground headquarters began to shake like there was an earthquake._

_Immediately, she jumped up from the seat she was on and ran to the main room, where she was glad to see that most of her team were gathered._

"_What's going on?" she said to Kelly._

"_I think they're attacking us; they must've detected the bunker."_

_Hermione felt like a wall of bricks had collapsed onto her._

"_What should we do?" she asked Kelly, mostly thinking aloud._

"_That's your call, but we need to leave."_

_Hermione nodded, she had thought as much. They could leave, but their attackers would be gathered outside, surely, and would immediately notice thirty people trying to escape. What could they do? They would probably need to fight, but that would make the attackers aware of them, they were still meant to be on surveillance, since they had only moved to the bunker four months ago._

"_Hermione," Nate said, coming up beside her, "You need to decide what to do, everyone is waiting for you."_

_Hermione looked up and found that nearly everyone was watching her, they needed orders, she realized. Hermione wanted to cry, as panic set in. Her heart began to beat faster, as thirty pairs of eyes remained focused on her, she couldn't do this. She could handle this pressure, she had never been able to cope under pressure._

"_Ok, um, everyone, we are under attack," Hermione said, feeling like she was stating the obvious, "Everyone cast disillusion charms on yourselves, they can't completely hide you but it may be out best shot. Um, we need somewhere to go…everyone go to the hills behind this clearing. You will probably need to fight your way through."_

_Hermione was glad to have a plan, but it wasn't fool proof, and it certainly wasn't very solid. She knew that everyone else thought this too, but they obeyed her and began casting the charms on their partners._

"_Ready?" Nate said to her, raising his wand._

_Hermione didn't know if he was referring to the battle about to take place, or the disillusion charm, but it didn't really matter. She nodded, and felt like a trail of water was sliding down her body._

_Hermione quickly cast the same spell on Nate, before she gestured for the group to head to the front entrance._

_The gathered around the small door, no one wanting to face what was outside. This was it, their first attack. The bunker began to rock more fervently then, and Hermione realized they had a limited amount of time before it could collapse on top of them._

_Just as she was thinking this, Ryan seemed to have enough and rushed forward, climbed up the ladder and disappeared through the door._

_Hermione ignored her shaking knees, and followed him._

_She was shocked; they were surrounded by people in cloaks, at least a hundred of them. Hermione could see the very faint outlines of her team following her up, and her throat was too dry to tell them to go back._

_Hermione raised her wand, pointed her chin and rushed forward, toward the hills._

_A jet of green light flew past her head, as voices began to shout,_

"_I can see them!"_

"_They're disillusioned!"_

"_GO!" _

_CRASH!_

_Hermione tumbled backwards as the bunker they had been using as their base collapsed, leaving a huge hole in the ground. Hermione gasped as she heard screams coming from the hole, were some people still in the area? She prayed that the pain filled screams didn't belong to any of her team._

_She was about to rush forward and try and help the people caught in the bunker, but almost immediately spells were being shot all over the place, Hermione was blinded by the shower of red and green being shot, but most peculiar was the shimmering yellow light that seemed to be the most frequent._

_Hermione realized that she had been standing still for much too long; she cursed, frustrated with herself and removed the disillusion charm from around herself. She needed to be sure that she was only going to hit those attacking, and not any of her team._

_To her immense relief, the others had caught onto her secret message and took off their disillusion charms too._

_Hermione swallowed loudly, there were people still missing. She hoped that just meant that they hadn't removed their charms._

_Battle cries filled the dusty air, as Hermione's head cleared for the first time in months. This she could handle, this she could do, here she was in her element, in a deadly battle fighting for her life, and she knew what to do._

"_STUPEFY!" She shouted ducking as four killing curses sped towards her._

_Hermione raced across the clearing, ducking constantly to avoid the spells being thrown her way. She kept her eyes open, trying to see how her team were holding up, but it was nearly pointless, with all of the dust in the air from the bunker collapsing._

_Hermione gasped, as she could do nothing but watch as that sickening yellow light collided with a young woman on her team, Suzanne Grimshaw. Hermione shouted out, trying to warn the girl, but it was pointless._

_She fell to the ground, and Hermione watched in horror as she clasped at her throat, her face turning purple, with a vein pulsing in her forehead. Suzanne choked on the air, as Hermione tried to reach her, Hermione stared in shock as the girl let out a strangled sob. Then she moved no more._

_Hermione froze, as the sounds around her died away. She had just been killed, this woman had just been murdered…and Hermione was supposed to have protected her, she should have saved her from the horrible death._

_Hermione was jolted out of her thoughts as someone crashed into her. Hermione recognised the person as Ryan._

"_Come on, move!" He growled at her, and Hermione quickly re-entered the battle._

_Cloaked figures approached her, surrounding her._

"_STUPEFY! EXPELLIARMUS! STUPEFY! DIFFINDO!"_

_She grinned when she hit two of her them, making way for her to run through the circle, so that her attackers were facing her, instead of closing in on her._

"_CRUCIO!"_

"_DIFFINDO!" Hermione shot back, jumping back as a yellow light came towards her._

"_AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

"_STUPEFY!"_

"_PERTRIFICUS TOTALUS!" Hermione screeched._

_She ran on forward, having successfully knocked out the ones attacking her. She panicked as someone launched one of the yellow spells at Beth; Hermione acted without thinking and quickly pulled Beth to the ground._

_Both girls let out shaky sighs of relief, and Hermione assumed that Beth had seen what the spell done too. She felt like a knife was being twisted in her stomach as she realized that someone else must've been hit with it…killed with it._

_Hermione jumped up, and reached out a hand for Beth. They needed to keep moving._

"_This is mad!" Beth exclaimed, and Hermione could barely hear her._

"_I know! We need to get to the hills, but there's so many of them!"_

"_Let's team up, I'll cover you!"_

_Hermione nodded, surprised._

_Together, her and Beth tuned and faced their attackers. They seemed to be coming in every direction, but Hermione was determined to win, to get out of here. She and Beth fought back to back, attacking and defending in equal measures,_

"_STUPEFY!" Hermione hollered,_

_At the same time Beth roared, "PROTEGO!"_

_They had to win this._

_oo00OO00oo_

_Hermione collapsed onto one of the tiny seats in the small bunker like room. She couldn't believe this. 19 people! 19 people! 19 people dead._

_19 people who had been relaying on her, and she failed them. They were gone._

_Six months into the mission and she had already killed 19 people._

_19 people._

_The words just kept going round and round in her head, whirling constantly, taunting and teasing her._

"_What the fuck was that!" Jake, the usually calm one, demanded angrily. "What the hell just happened? Watch a few people, they said. See if they're up to anything, they said. Low-risk, they said. They did not mention a fucking army of trained assassins!"_

"_Calm down, please Jake." Kelly tried to reason, her voice hoarse, and her face wet._

"_Why should he?" Lisa shouted, "Look at this, we're all a mess. We're not cut out for this shit. They just killed 19 people! Has anyone else noticed?"_

"_Of course we noticed!" Jonathan shouted, furious._

"_Well someone act like it then! We've just ran away, ended up in some underground cave somewhere, that probably isn't even safe, not to mention the fact that it can barely fit four in here, never mind the eleven of us!"_

_Hermione was in shock, she could hear them continue to argue over her head, but she didn't care, this was all her fault. She had really messed up, and now these people were dead, because she, their leader, hadn't lead them. Suzanne's death wouldn't leave her, the panicked look the woman's frenzied eyes would haunt her forever._

_A small whimpering caught her attention, and Hermione found herself staring at the crying girl beside her. Ally, seventeen years old, fresh out of Hogwarts and signed up for the aurors, then got referred here. To watch 19 people die. She had fallen down the hole when the bunker collapsed, and was still covered in mud and grime, but thankfully she had survived. Ally was the only one of eight people who had fallen into the bunker to make it out. _

_Hermione reached out, and cautiously placed her arm around the weeping girl, remembering all too well what it felt like to see countless people die before you…to lose your last shred of innocence. And suddenly, Hermione felt the need to protect this girl; Ally was only two years younger than her, but still. Hermione knew that other things in her life had aged her more, and she wouldn't let that happen to Ally. _

_The argument in front of her reached boiling point, they weren't angry at each other, they were just frustrated, and grieving. Or, possibly, angry with her._

"_Enough." Hermione said quietly, but, for once every eye in the room reached her, "We can't continue to fight with each other, we have decisions to make." _

_Hermione wiped a stray tear away from down her cheek, ignoring the ache it caused in her arms. She was physically and mentally exhausted, they all were. They were covered in dried blood, most of which was not theirs, and there were plenty of injuries to be dealt with._

"_We don't know if this place is secure, so I suggest we get some wards up, as soon as we can. The ones were taught at training."_

_Training seemed like a long time ago._

"_I can do that." Ryan answered. Hermione noticed that he looked the calmest out of everyone, and decided that it would be a good idea for him to do it._

"_Good, just wait a second, we need to decide what to do. The ministry will probably try and contact us now, in a few days, since a report was due. So we could try and get back to the base, to get the message but it would be dangerous, and I don't know how the message would be delivered considering that the base is destroyed." Hermione said._

"_They'll make us go home." Nate said, Hermione noticed that he was there for the first time, and felt truly relieved that he had made it._

"_Probably." Hermione said, not sure where this was going._

"_We can't go home."_

"_Not after that."_

"_It wouldn't be right."_

_Hermione stared at her team, seeing determination in all of their eyes, she knew what they were suggesting, and a huge part of her wanted that too. But, she didn't want to risk anyone else's lives. She couldn't. She couldn't be responsible for the death of any more people._

_Hermione wished Harry was here, the effortless leader, he would know what to do. He would know how to lead this team…he wouldn't have gotten nineteen of them killed. She wanted Harry, she wanted her parents, but most of all, she wanted Ron. She needed him, after all she had just seen she had a desperate urge to see him, to know that he was safe, to just beg him to forgive her and forget everything about this horrible mission._

"_Technically, we have evidence against them now. They could be persecuted." She pointed out._

"_But we haven't captured any, and you saw them, they can vanish in an instant. They disappeared pretty quickly after that. I don't think they're worried about us. They'll expect us to go to the ministry, then they'll leave and we'll have lost them…everyone would've died for nothing." Jake said, deadpanned._

_Hermione wasn't sure; she knew that she owned it to all of those who died trying to do good. That battle had shocked her in a way that even the Battle of Hogwarts hadn't, she had truly seen how a normal situation could turn into a complete travesty, and she didn't want to see that ever again, but she didn't want to risk any more lives._

_But, by the time they got back home, filed charge against this army, then they could've killed someone else, and she couldn't live with that. And she didn't even know everyone that was involved in that fight, she needed to know every single person that had fought against them, for it was the only way to get justice._

"_You're right; we owe it to everyone that died to stop these people, properly. We need to be serious about this now, we are going to have a set routine, and a set plan of action, what happened today can never happen again, understood?"_

_Everyone nodded, and Hermione knew that they were making a pact, their own secret oath, to get revenge, to fight for those that they couldn't save. She would step up, she had to, and she needed to become the type of leader that prevented these attacks._

_She could see so clearly now everything that she had done wrong in the last few months, she had been constantly wishing to go home, constantly thinking that she couldn't do this, constantly worrying about what everyone thought about her, but she needed to stop that, she needed to take charge and it didn't matter if she could, she had to._

"_Good, this is the last chance to drop out, to go home, if you stay now, you can't leave." Hermione said, "It's going to take longer now, we don't have any equipment, we have…smaller n-numbers, and we are further from their headquarters."_

_Hermione could tell that no one wanted to quit now, if she had said this yesterday, she was sure that many of them would've left in an instant, but something had shifted between them. They knew what needed to be done, and really, what choice did they have?_

"_We're staying, right? It's the right thing to do." Nate said his voice full of determination._

"_Yeah, of course." Beth said, while everyone else nodded._

_Hermione and Beth's eyes met, and the exchanged the smallest of smiles. They had both witnessed horrific things in the last few hours, and they both knew that if not for the other, they wouldn't have made it out._

"_I agree, then," Hermione said, rubbing her eyes wearily, "We can talk about it in the morning though, I'm going to take a watch now, since we can't sure that this place is safe. We can swap every six hours or so."_

"_I'll come with you; we can do them in partners, right?" Nate said._

_Herminie nodded, that was a good plan, she knew from experience how easy it was to fall asleep, or get distracted, during a watch, so it would be practical to have two people carry through on it._

"_Ok, everyone else, go and get some rest."_

_Hermione made her way out of the tiny room, all the while the same three words repeating in her head._

_19 people dead._

_oo00OO00oo_

"_Getting anywhere?" Kelly said, coming to stand beside Hermione._

"_No, not really. There doesn't seem to be a strong enough pattern, or schedule, to what they do," Hermione sighed, drawing her eyes away from the stacks of parchment in front of her._

_They had been watching the group constantly, for months now, but they couldn't spot anything from their surveillance points. They needed to get inside to really be able to find see what they were up too, but that wasn't possible yet, since they had so little information, Hermione knew that they wouldn't be able to infiltrate them just yet._

_She had learned from the day that her, Harry and Ron had broken into the ministry, that so much more could happen once you were inside your target than you planned for. That had been their mistake; they had focused for much on getting inside the ministry that they hadn't planned what to do while they were there._

_She was trying her hardest to avoid repeating this mistake, but it felt like they were just sitting still, at the moment, waiting for something to happen, to be discovered. _

_It had been three months since the attack, and the group had changed drastically. They knew now that they were all each other had, and they were getting along better, working on being a team, and trusting each other. Hermione had stepped up, she had finally done what she should have done from the very first day, she had taken charge. She knew that people who went to school with her would wonder why she had such difficulty in being a leader, since she was always so bossy. But bossiness was vastly different from having the confidence to lead a team. Narking at others made her bossy, but to be a leader she needed to be able to make the right decisions for everyone, in an instant, and have good people skills. These were two areas that she had always struggled with, but the attack had been the wake-up call she needed, and she was working on these issues._

_They had managed to expand the small underground room that they had found, they now had a_ _bedroom, and a tiny bathroom that were very cramped, but they done their job. They had a living area, with seats and food stocked up, for people to relax when they weren't on duty, and they had a planning room. Hermione and Kelly were in the planning room now, looking over their notes._

_They managed to get food from a local muggle town, which they went to once a month, they bought some items, and then increased the volume when they got back, one set of partners usually did this. All the furniture had simply been from rocks, Hermione had been delighted to discover that David was excellent at Transfiguration, and could make basically anything out of a rock. She idly wondered if this was considered when the ministry choose people for the department._

"_We'll get there eventually, dear." Kelly said, "It's important that we are prepared before we rush into this anyway."_

_Hermione nodded,_

"_It's just that we've been here so long, and I don't think we've achieved anything." She said, frustrated._

"_I know." Kelly whispered, "It's been eight months…it wasn't supposed to last that long."_

_Hermione instantly felt bad when she noticed the shake in Kelly's voice, she shouldn't have brought up how long they were away. It was an unspoken rule amongst the team to pretend that there was no one outside their mission, to pretend that it had been days, not months._

_Hermione patted Kelly consolingly on the back, she knew that Kelly was struggling, she had two children who had just started Hogwarts, and she missed them awfully. Kelly had always been an auror, so both she and her family knew what it was like to have long missions._

_Hermione envied the other members of her team, sometimes. They had all applied for their positions, and had warned their families that they would be leaving. Hermione knew that she could've told someone that she was going, but she also knew that they would've stopped her, because she was different to her team. It wasn't her dream job to work on one of these missions, and her family knew that._

"_We'll do this, don't worry." Hermione said, trying to cheer up the woman._

_Kelly smiled,_

"_Thank you, sweetheart."_

_She wrapped Hermione in a hug, unexpectedly, which Hermione welcomed. _

_For some reason, Hermione felt immensely comforted in Kelly's arm. _

_It was probably because she was the mother of the group; she comforted and offered advice to everyone. _

_The women were distracted by a knock on the door, as Ryan entered the room._

_Hermione struggled to contain her laugh as Ryan blushed, when he noticed Kelly was in the room. He was a few years younger than Kelly, but he had developed some kind of weird crush on her. It was a running joke amongst the group, particularly since Kelly didn't even notice the poor boy, she was happily married after all._

"_Dinner's ready." He told them._

_oo00OO00ooo_

_Hermione cringed as she watched another wallop of hair fall onto the floor._

"_This was such a bad idea." She mumbled to herself._

"_Oh, hush," Beth scolded from behind her, "It's going to look great, I'm an excellent hairdresser."_

"_I'm going to look like a boy!" Hermione corrected, choosing not to comment on the fact that she seriously doubted that Beth was a good hairdresser._

"_It's practical, Herms." Beth informed her, "If you go into their headquarters, you could get recognised, so we make it a little darker, and cut it a little, and no one will know it's you. Plus, it will be much easier to manage. Anyway, you were the one who asked me to cut it!"_

"_Yes, but Beth, I said a little, that mess on the floor does not look like a little!"_

_Beth ignored her, but Nate sniggered from the corner of the room._

"_You should have known what Beth's like, it's your own fault for trusting her." He laughed._

_Hermione could only watch in horror as more and more of her hair fell away, her hair had always been long, always, she couldn't even remember the last time that she had it to her shoulders, and now it was all going to go. She could tell by how close the scissors were to her head that her hair was going to be extremely short, and she felt oddly sad about cutting her hair. For some reason, the idea of being unrecognisable made her want to cry, which was ridiculous considering how much she used to long for the same thing._

"_I promise that I have experience in cutting hair." Beth said, taking her silence as a really bad sign._

_Nate coughed,_

"_Sure you do."_

"_I've had more experience than you!"_

"_That's not saying much!"_

"_Oh cut it out, the pair of you." Hermione smiled, rolling her eyes._

_She relaxed, enjoying the calm around her. They were more or less alone, Ally and Jake were out getting food, Martin and Kelly were on guard duty, and Jonathan and Ryan were surveying the headquarters of Williams._

"_I still can't believe that you haven't cut your hair in two years." Beth said, sounding appalled._

_Hermione laughed,_

"_It was actually more than that, before it was about a year before we left that I last had it cut."_

_Beth made a disapproving noise behind her, and Hermione blushed remembering the reason that she hadn't cut her hair in so long. Ron had told her than he liked her hair better long, so she had been growing it out._

_Hermione's hands found the chain around her neck automatically, and she began to wonder when she had picked up the habit, it only happened when she thought about home._

"_So, Ally and Jonathan." Beth said._

_Nate looked up,_

"_I definitely never saw that one coming." He said._

"_I know what you mean, I didn't even notice that they were close," Hermione agreed._

"_And he's so much older!" Beth gossiped._

_Nate threw her a warning look,_

"_Let's not judge, Beth."_

"_I'm not judging, I'm just…saying."_

_Hermione could see where Beth was coming from; it was weird to think that little Ally, the baby of the group, and the one who Hermione had comforted after the first battle, and Jonathan, the geeky, older man, who still seemed much older than his 26 years, were together. They were two people that Hermione would never have put together, and she wasn't sure if it would last in the real world, but, as Nate said, who was she to judge? If being together helped Ally and Jonathan cope, then who was she to intervene, although Hermione was grateful that they weren't partners, she dreaded to think what would happened to her plans if two partners got together._

"_There, all done!" Beth proclaimed proudly, ten minutes later._

"_Huh," Nate said casually, "It's actually done well, good job Beth."_

_Beth beamed, as she handed Hermione the mirror. Hermione looked at herself, her hair was cropped to her head, and the colour now resembled the darker shade of her eyes, it was nice, just…different._

"_You look like a whole new person." Beth grinned._

_Hermione nodded; her throat dry. Yes, she barely recognised herself at all._

_oo00OO00oo _

_Hermione paced back and forth the room anxiously._

_Where were they? It had been six hours since they left, and still no sign._

"_Relax, Hermione, they'll be fine, nothing bad has ever happened in one of these missions before." Jake said._

"_Yes, except for that time where TWO PEOPLE WERE KILLED!" Hermione screeched shrilly, her temper rising._

_Jake's eyes flashed dangerously, but he regained control quickly._

"_David and Lisa were killed over year ago," Jake pointed out, "You always freak out about these missions, but we've been sneaking in there so long now that it's easy."_

_Hermione knew that none of them found sneaking into that awful place easy, and that many things had certainly gone wrong, she had lost count of how many times one of her team had come back injured, or tortured, but she appreciated Jake's attempt to calm her anyway. Still, even though there hadn't been any direct deaths from sneaking into the enemy's headquarters, since Lisa and David had been killed while watching them from a tree close by, she was on edge._

_Ryan and Ally rushed into the room just then,_

"_We can see them coming!" Ally said excitedly._

"_Really? Where?" Hermione demanded, stopping her pacing, "How can you see them?"_

"_With their eyes, I'd imagine." Jake remarked dryly, although Hermione noticed that he looked quite relieved too._

"_They aren't disillusioned." Ryan explained, "But they were heading across to the other side of this field, so maybe they're up to something."_

"_Oh," Hermione said, understanding, "Kelly and I were saying the other day that we should leave a false trail, lead them somewhere else since we've all noticed more in this area than before. She must be doing that."_

"_Good idea," Jake said, he looked lost in thought, no doubt thinking about new strategies._

_They heard a thumping above them, Hermione waited until she heard the signature knock on the ground before she took down enough enchantments to allow her team back inside._

"_We got them!" Beth grinned, as soon as she was in._

"_Yes!" Nate exclaimed, punching the air._

_Hermione allowed herself a small smile, glad that they had achieved their mission, and that they were all back safe. From what she could see of her friends, none of them had any injures, although Jonathan had some dried blood on his face. _

"_Were you followed? Ally and Ryan said they saw you all going the other way." Hermione said._

"_Not completely sure," Kelly answered, "So we done the false trial that we were discussing the other day."_

_Hermione nodded._

"_Come into the planning room," Martin said, "We'll give you all the report and you can look at what we got."_

_oo00OO00oo_

"_Is it a chair?"_

"_Nope."_

"_A can?"_

"_Nope."_

"_A cloak?"_

"_No. Face it, Nate, you're never going to get it." Beth laughed._

_Hermione rubbed her temples tiredly. She continued to stir the pot of beans in front of her, but the look of the food was turning her stomach. Why hadn't the shopping trip been done?_

_Nate and Beth continued their ridiculous game, and Hermione found her patience wearing thin. For God sake, they had done an inventory of this room so many times that surely, _surely_, Nate could guess the bloody word that began with "c". She was sick of hearing that stupid game, sick of cooking this disgusting food and sick of being the only person who took this seriously._

"_What's that?" Jake said, looking into the pot._

"_Dinner." She replied curtly._

"_Delightful." He screwed up his face._

_Hermione threw done the spoon, and let out a noise of frustration. She had reached her breaking point._

_Nate and Beth stopped their game to stare at her, looking at her as if she had grown two heads._

"_For fucks sake, Jake!" She screamed, cursing in her anger, "If you don't like what I'm cooking then you should have gone to get food last week. LIKE I ASKED YOU TO!"_

"_Hermione, he didn't mean-"_

"_And you!" Hermione said, turning to Nate, "The word is clock! There are that many c words in the room, and you somehow managed to get everyone but that!"_

_Hermione fled the room, needing to be alone. She was so sick of constantly being surrounded by these people. She needed five seconds on her own, for Merlin's sake, or she was going to go insane!_

_But no, she wasn't even allowed that. When she went into the bedroom, she was furious to see that Ally and Jonathan were already there._

_She threw herself onto her tiny bed, and wrapped herself in her blanket, submerging her head fully._

"_You ok, Hermione?" Ally called cautiously._

_Hermione could have killed her, she certainly wanted to. Instead she buried her head further into her pillow and ignored her._

_She let out a relieved sigh as she heard them leave, even though she could hear the whispered conversation about her in the kitchen._

_She just wanted to be alone._

_oo00OO00oo_

_Hermione gasped, jumping awake. Sweat dribbled down her body, and she could feel her pyjamas sticking to her._

_She sat up, taking deep rasping breaths, struggling to regain her composure. She forced as much air into her lungs as she could, while trying hard to keep her eyes from squeezing shut._

_It had been a long time since she had a dream like that._

_Hermione hugged her legs close to her body, ignoring, as always, that she was much smaller than she ever remembered being._

_The dream had started off normally, a happy pleasant dream of being home. It was Christmas, like today, and she was at the Burrow. Everyone was there, Ron was beside her, kissing her, hugging her, laughing with her…it was perfect, it was because of these kinds of dreams that Hermione loved going to bed, because then she got to see her family again. But sometimes…sometimes they turned bad._

_All she could see was yellow light…that horrible yellow light that haunted her. It horrified her, what it could go, and she had built up an irrational fear of it. She hadn't seen someone hit with it since Suzanne, on that very first battle, so long ago, but she had seen it cast enough to know the exact shade of that colour._

_In her dream, Molly had turned around slowly, then she had dropped the food she was holding, and clawed at her throat, then it spread, and spread, and spread. They were all killed, until Ron. They had tried running, the only two left, but then she had watched as the yellow blinded her, and Ron had collapsed, gasping for air…_

_She had woken up at that point, thank God. She had enough real images to haunt her without her head adding imaginary ones._

_Hermione threw the covers off her bed, careful not to wake the rest of her team. She glanced around quickly to make sure everyone was safe, and was glad to see that everyone was there, except Martin and Kelly, but they were on guard duty. She got out of the bed and made her way down the tiny corridor to the living area._

_She rushed over to the sink, and threw some cold water onto her face, running her hands through her hair._

_She leant back against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to slow her heartbeat._

_She heard movement at the door and swung around instantly; fighting back a curse when she realized that she didn't have her wand._

"_Calm down, it's just me." Beth said, coming into the room._

_Hermione nodded,_

"_Couldn't sleep either?" Hermione asked her, slightly embarrassed at being caught in such an emotional state._

_Beth fiddled uncomfortably with the threads of the t-shirt,_

"_Yeah…it's Christmas today. Well, later, it's only three in the morning."_

"_Yeah, Christmas." Hermione repeated._

_Beth sat down on the small sofa, and motioned Hermione to join her._

_They both sat in a companionably silence for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts about what they wanted to be doing today._

_Hermione noticed Beth wipe a tear from her face, and had to fight to keep hers from falling too,_

"_I just, I j-just thought we'd b-be home by now." She cried._

"_So did I." Hermione whispered in a small voice._

_Three years. Three Birthdays. Three Easters. Three New Years'…Three Christmas'._

_Hermione leaned her head on Beth' shoulder, and they wrapped their arms around each other, finally admitting, in the dead of night, that time passes, and they were missing a lot of it._

"_I've never had a Christmas away from my parents, before this. We always made a big deal about it, at my house. My parents spoil me rotten." Beth gave a watery chuckle._

_Hermione smiled, she knew this, but she didn't mind listening to it again, Merlin only knew how often Beth had listened to her about Ron. This was what they done best, let the other talk._

_Everyone else was great, but Beth had a presence about her that made you want to be honest, and while Hermione didn't often admit her feelings to Beth, she did enjoy telling her about home, because Beth listened like no one else._

"_Same here, advantages of being an only child, I suppose."_

"_Yeah, I loved it, which is weird because most only children want brothers or sisters, but I quite liked having my parents' undivided attention."_

_Both women laughed, typical Beth, Hermione thought fondly._

"_What on earth are you two up to?" _

_Hermione jumped as Nate's voice came from nowhere, she looked up and found him standing at the doorway watching them._

"_Nate, don't scare me like that!" Beth said._

"_Sorry, but I came to investigate after hearing two cackling witches down the hall." He grinned. _

_Hermione threw him a dirty look, while Beth smiled slightly._

"_So what are you both doing up?" He asked, coming closer to them, although he would already know._

_Hermione noticed him eying the tear stains on Beth's face suspiciously._

"_We were talking about Christmas." Beth said sadly._

_Nate nodded, and gestured for them to split so that he could sit in the middle of them. He made himself comfortable before he spoke again, Hermione noticed that Beth immediately leant into his shoulder._

"_You know what?"_

"_What?" They asked together._

"_I think that this is going to be our last Christmas here." He said._

_Hermione smiled,_

"_You say that every year." She pointed out, but Beth laughed,_

"_Well, if he keeps saying it, then he's bound to be right once."_

"_My thinking exactly."_

_The three of them laughed, and Hermione relaxed a little, her dream being pushed slowly from her mind, this was what she needed._

_Nate raised his wand and summoned a bottle of Firewhiskey from the cupboard, along with three glasses,_

"_Let's make a toast." He said excitedly, and Hermione wondered where he got his energy from at this time in the morning._

"_To what?" Beth asked, sounding amused now._

"_To…um, being home this time next year," Nate said, clearly improvising, "and meeting up at three in the morning, for traditions sake."_

_Hermione couldn't help it; a genuine smile crossed her face, for the first time in months._

_Beth giggled, and Hermione marvelled at how much she had cheered up in just a few minutes._

"_Definitely." Beth said, through giggles, as she lifted her glass and clinked it with Nate's._

"_Of course." Hermione smiled. "Merry Christmas, guys."_

_oo00OO00oo_

"_NO! NO! KELLY!" Hermione screamed, struggling against the strong hands of her captor._

_She punched and kicked at him, shoving him with all her might, as tears streamed down her face._

_Kelly's screaming continued, like knives, the sound pierces her skin._

_She needed to do something, she needed to stop this._

"_Ready to talk?" Vincent Williams asked, rather calmly._

"_C-cant," Kelly gasped out, and Hermione was relieved to hear her voice since she stopped struggling for a few seconds, "T-took…oa…oath."_

_Hermione resumed her fighting, although she could tell that it was getting her nowhere. She knew that Kelly wouldn't last much longer…no one could be tortured for much and turn out fine._

"_Crucio." Williams said, sounding bored._

_Kelly's horror-filled screams filled the air once more, _

"_Stop it! Stop it!" She sobbed, roaring her words at Williams._

"_Oh dear, you do seem to be upsetting your team member, my dear. Tell you what, if you tell me where you've been hiding your team, I'll give the girlie a head start, doesn't that seem fair?"_

_Hermione shook with terror, where were the others? How long would it take for them to notice that something was wrong? Would they come, or would they think that Hermione and Kelly were just taking longer than expected?_

_Kelly had stopped screaming, but this scared Hermione more. She was lying motionless on the ground. Hermione stared at her limp body, trying to send Kelly strength. _

_Hermione didn't know if they had been here hours, or minutes._

"_I w-won't tell you anything." Kelly said, in a voice so quiet, that Hermione could barely hear her._

"_Very well, let's see how much you feel like talking when the girl's dead." Williams sneered._

_He spun, wand raised in a second, Hermione didn't have time to process what was happening, and she barely heard they spell uttered, as she squeezed her eyes closed in anticipation._

_This was it. Hermione saw visions of home flood her mind, Ron, Harry, her parents, Ginny, Luna, Neville, the Weasleys, the Burrow. Hermione longed to be with them, to be able to see them once more, and in that moment she couldn't recall the reasons why she had stayed away from them for so long. It wasn't worth it. She wanted Ron, her Ron, he would make it ok again._

"_Caedo__Suffoco__!" _

_The yellow. The sickening yellow. The sickening yellow that haunted her dreams…was coming towards her._

"_NOOOOOOO!"_

_Air left Hermione's lungs, as she was swung aside, she felt her body slam onto the ground, and for one fleeting second she thought that the spell had worked, because she couldn't breathe. But the sound of another body hitting the floor drew her attention._

_Kelly's rasping breaths resounded in her eyes, as she choked on air._

"_NO! NO! KELLY!" Hermione screamed, she tried to stand, but her legs wouldn't support her weight, so Hermione found herself crawling over to her friend's body._

_Hermione was at her side in a few seconds, tears streaming down her face as she looked at her dying mentor, her mother figure in the last few years, the person that showed her how to take charge._

"_Kelly," She whispered, sobbing, "Please, Kelly, p-please don't d-die."_

_Kelly struggled to get out the words, _

"_M-m-my ba..babies-"_

_She cut off, gasping for air that wouldn't come, her body shook frantically, before she was still, completely still…_

"_No, no…no." Hermione cried, grief crashing upon her._

_Rough hands grabbed her, and Hermione forced herself to kick and scream, for Kelly. She fought, and fought, trying to break free from her captors. But she couldn't fight them off, she barely heard the instructions Williams gave them, she was completely consumed with loss, loss like she hasn't felt since Fred, Remus and Tonks died._

_She was thrown into a room, none too gently, but she didn't care._

_She felt lost, and hopeless, she finally allowed herself to realize that she had gotten herself, and her team, into a huge mess, and it wasn't going to get better._

_For the first time in years, she broke down, really broke down. She pulled her legs to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them, as sobs wracked her entire body. She didn't know how long she was there, but it felt like an eternity before she heard footsteps come down the hall._

_Fear gripped her, what would they do to her now?_

_oo00OO00oo_

"_Crucio!"_

_Knives were digging into every part of her skin, she was being set on fire, thrown across a room like a rag doll. She screamed until he voice left her, in the hopes that someone would hear her, in the hopes that he would hear her. She could barely remember who he was though. Something told her to hold on, that she had something to love for, but what? She wanted to give up, she couldn't handle this pain, it wouldn't leave her alone, and she could barely breath._

_She didn't know where she was, she doubted she would even be able to recall her own name. Her back arced as the spell hit her again, her head slammed into the ground, but she found the feel of the floor beneath her awfully satisfying._

_His face flew before her eyes, just as everything went black. Ron._

_oo00OO00oo_

_Hermione stared straight ahead. She could feel Nate shift beside her, but she ignored him. She knew that he wanted her to talk, for her to be ok again, but she wasn't. And she didn't want to pretend anymore._

_Her body still ached, she was physically exhausted, and she had new scars. But none of that bothered her._

_She had given up, she knew she had. Her mind was drained, and yet she couldn't get it to stop forming terrible images before her._

_She couldn't move without seeing Kelly's dying face, or seeing Ryan's devastated expression when he knew Kelly was gone, or seeing those horrible people, for lack of another word, in front of her, hurting her._

_It was all such a blur, her being rescued, since she was barely conscious at the time, and she still didn't understand what had happened to cause her to lose someone else._

_Literally, lose._

_Ryan had disappeared, Hermione remembered him coming him coming into the room she was held in, with Nate. He had been pale and worried, about Kelly._

_It had destroyed him when she had stuttered out that Kelly was dead, Ryan had snapped and raced off, trying to get revenge. They knew that he was going to get himself in trouble, but Nate wouldn't leave her, and she was in no condition to race after Ryan. They had gone back to base, where Martin, Ally, Beth and Jake were waiting._

_Ryan hadn't been seen since._

"_Hermione," Nate said, drawing her from her thoughts,_

"_What?" She answered, taken aback by how hoarse her voice sounded. Had it been that long since she used it?_

"_It wasn't your fault."_

_Hermione filched, surprised by his abruptness. Tears stung at her eyes, but they continued to scan their surroundings._

_Nate sighed when she ignored him._

"_It was, Nate. It really was." She whispered, after a few minutes._

"_Of course it wasn't, it could've happened to any of us. Kelly, she…she knew that."_

_Hermione furiously wiped at her eyes,_

"_They thought she was in charge, Nate, and I done nothing to make them believe otherwise."_

_Nate didn't say anything, what could he say to that anyway?_

"_And she jumped in front that curse for me, but I done nothing to stop her g-getting...t-tortured." She hiccupped._

"_You couldn't have!" Nate protested immediately, "You were being held back!"_

"_She had just been tortured, and she still managed to put herself between that curse and me!" Hermione answered heatedly._

"_It wasn't your fault." Nate said, but he couldn't convince her._

_Hermione clasped the ring around her neck for dear life, she didn't want to be here talking to Nate about this, she just wanted to be home._

"_Hermione, I am going to miss Kelly, and Ryan too, so much, you know that." Nate began warily, "But we need to focus, you know that too, right? We have to finish this; we're in too deep now. You need to be here, really here, because you have to lead us."_

_Hermione wondered when the immature, childish person she met had turned into someone so good with words, so good with motivating people._

"_I know."_

_And she did, she really did. She still remembered the very first battle they had, how so many had died because she didn't lead her team properly, and she wouldn't let that happen now, not now when these people meant so much to her._

_Nate wrapped his arm around her, and she leaned into his brotherly embrace, as they continued with their watch._

"_She had a husband, and two children, Nate."_

"_I know. We'll make sure they know how brave she was, after this is all done."_

_Hermione nodded, that was the least she could do._

_oo00OO00oo_

_Hermione dodged the spell sent her way effortlessly._

"_STUPEFY!" She screamed._

_Hermione ran, taking cover behind a broken piece of wall. She looked around, looking for her team._

_She was relieved to see that Beth, Jonathan and Martin were leaving the room, she knew that they were heading to their opponents most secret room, where they would find their plans, and hopefully the answers that they needed._

_Hermione watched carefully, making sure that no one had noticed their departure to follow them. She quickly stunned someone who was trying to follow them, and grinned when the spell hit its mark._

"_DIFFINDO!"_

_Hermione gasped in pain as the spell hit her, she could feel the cut in her arm. _

"_EXPELLIARMUS!" She countered._

_She didn't pause to see if she had got her target, she ran across the room, shooting spells at anything and anyone as she went, all the while trying to locate Nate. They had a job to do._

"_Hermione!"_

_She turned at the sound of her name, and was relieved to see Nate rushing up to her,_

"_Will we do it now?"_

_Hermione nodded, but her eyes wandered to Jake and Ally, who were going to be the only ones in the room soon._

"_Should we stay and help them?" Nate asked, voicing her thoughts._

_Hermione sighed, pulling her eyes away from her friends reluctantly._

"_No, we need to do this."_

_Nate nodded, and soon the pair set off._

_They ran out if the room where the battle was occurring, racing through the halls of the confusing mansion._

"_Where's the best place to put this stuff then?"_

_Hermione thought for a moment, the original plan had been to put the eaves dropping equipment in the room with all the plans, but if Beth and the others were going to get the plans, it would be pointless._

_The only other room that was used frequently, that the team knew off, was the room where Kelly…had been killed._

"_Let's put them in the main room, the room where we were taken the last time." She answered._

_She didn't want to see this room ever again, but of it would help then she would,_

"_OK," Nate said, immediately understanding, "You wait outside, and keep watch, while I set up."_

_Hermione smiled at him gratefully, glad to the escape._

"_Thanks."_

"_You probably wouldn't be able to set them up anyway." He jested, as Hermione punched his shoulder._

_They reached the room, and Nate disappeared inside._

_The had developed muggle eavesdropping devices, it had been hard trying to think of a way to get them to work, considering all the magic in the area, but Hermione, Jonathan and Jake had spent the last few months coming up with ways for the devices not to be disrupted, or detected, by magic_

_They had finally achieved their goal last week, by placing a spell, quite like the Fidelius charm onto the devices, Hermione wasn't completely sure how it had worked, but Jake had gotten frustrated with their lack of progress, and had cast the spell onto the devices, and somehow it had worked._

_They were placing them in the room to try and be kept up to date with the going-ons of their opposition, it wold certainly be an advantage to be able to hear them all the time. And it would reduce the amount of time spent watching the mansion, since they would already have ears inside it. This was a major advantage for Hermione, since they had so little members now they needed to use them resourcefully, and having four people, out of seven, constantly out of headquarters was not benefiting them._

"_Done it!" Nate shouted gleefully, as he raced out of the room._

"_And no one saw you?"_

"_No, there was no one there."_

"_Did you remember to make them invisible?"_

"_Of course I did, what do you take me for? I am not an amateur, Granger." Nate said, feigning hurt._

"_Just checking," She grinned, feeling happier now that they had achieved their part of the mission._

"_So, we need to leave now, right?"_

"_I suppose, I don't really want to leave everyone though."_

"_Neither do I," Nate admitted, "But we'll mess up the plan, plus they might already have left. Depends on how much time they spent distracting everyone from where we are."_

_Hermione nodded her consent,_

"_Let's go."_

_Together, the pair made their way out of the corridor; they ran over to the nearest window. Hermione started at the ground beneath her, wondering what would be the most inconspicuous way to leave the mansion._

"_You sure we can't just apparate?" Nate asked, staring at the ground, "Or use a door?"_

"_Pretty sure that the doors are guarded Nate," She said sardonically, "And definitely no apparating here."_

_Hermione vanished the glass of the window, and looked down it, trying to see if there was anyone there,_

"_Stupefy." Nate muttered beside her, at a guard below them._

_They watched for a few moments, waiting to see if someone had noticed, but, thankfully, no one came near the stunned guard._

"_You know," Nate observed, "If we had sent everyone one of these people that we had ever stunned, back to the ministry, I'm pretty sure we'd have gotten most of them. Except Williams, I suppose."_

"_And the ministry would've known that we were here, and would certainly not allow us to continue. It's not exactly been a successful mission." Hermione pointed out automatically, she had made this point for years._

"_So we just get Williams, and then al his followers are abandoned." Nate said, his voice sounding like it did the many times he had repeated these exact words. _

"_I think we have to jump now, we've delayed long enough."_

_Nate sighed, and then disillusioned himself. Hermione did the same._

_They jumped, Hermione first, then Nate._

_Hermione used a cushioning charm to break their fall, and was thankful that they didn't crash into the ground._

_Beth had forgotten a cushioning charm once, and ended up breaking most of the bones in her body. Ally had a hard time healing her, but they had managed it with some Skele-grow._

"_Let's go." Nate said. Hermione smirked when she noticed his outline reaching out a hand in the other direction._

"_Yeah, come on." She muttered, standing up and running._

_Only a few minutes and they would be back at base, then she would see how the mission went. This was the biggest mission since Kelly had been killed, and Ryan had disappeared, and she was desperate to know that everyone one was ok._

_Hermione could see their base coming closer and closer, and to her relief she could see people inside the wards._

_Ally and Jake._

_Her smile faltered slightly, but reminded herself that Beth, Martin and Jonathan had a longer mission._

"_Where's Beth? And Martin and Jonathan?" Nate demanded the moment the duo crossed the wards._

"_Not back yet." Jake said._

"_Don't worry, they'll be fine." Ally said, reaching out an arm to Nate. He hugged her briefly, but turned to look back at the way they had come._

"_You two ok? Any problems?" Hermione asked, inspecting them._

"_We're fine, most of them were taken out by the time that you left." Jake answered, "Only minor injuries, they're already healed."_

"_We didn't expect to be first back." Ally said._

_Hermione nodded, if all had gone to plan, Ally and Jake would've been last back, because they were the decoys. Now that they were here, their enemy would not be distracted; they could find the others, which meant that-"_

_BOOM!_

_The sound rung in the air, echoing over every surface possible. In a state of shock, Hermione turned, looking at the building._

_Red, orange and yellow flames licked at the building, reaching every surface area possible. It attacked the mansion, walls were crumbling like dust, and glass shards flew through the air, as screams resounded from the building. _

"_No! BETH!" Nate screamed, yelling into the dust that surrounded them._

"_Oh no!" Ally cried, tears in her eyes, "They're still there…J-Jonathan!"_

"_WHAT THE HELL!" Jake shouted._

_Hermione could do nothing but stare in shock at the building, as the flames continued to reach every corner of it._

_The four of them formed a vigil, staring at the fire, waiting and praying for their friends. As the minutes ticked by, hope began to fade. Not Beth, Hermione prayed, Not Beth too. She was one of her closest friends, her bubbly personality making this bearable; she was always there to comfort Hermione after a nightmare, or after a tragedy._

_But Martin, he didn't deserve this. The brave auror that gave up his job to carry on with tracking the murderer, he had left his wife and his family. He was responsible, and offered them the experience that most of them didn't have. Hermione trusted him, and he always told her stories of her boys, while they were training and Martin had still been at the department._

_And Jonathan, his life had been filled with some much tragedy, and death. The shy, American who was still grieving when they had left for this mission. His parents killed, and tortured, by people like those they had been following, and he had made the brave decision to change careers, to stop other families being destroyed. He had been getting better, he was happier, he had Ally now, and he had been coming out of himself more, and letting everyone get to know him. It wasn't fair, his sisters and brother couldn't take anymore loss._

"_I SEE THEM!" Jake roared, euphoric. _

_Hermione's heart began beating faster, hope filling her, as she looked over to where Jake was pointing, and, sure enough, three figures were making their way towards their bunker. They were covered in cuts, but they were smiling, and racing towards them._

_Happy tears filled her eyes, for the first time in years, and she grinned. They were ok._

_Nate let out a whoop, punching the air. While Ally collapsed into Jake, unable to contain her joy. Hermione was shocked to see that even Jake looked a little misty eyed, and she winked at him._

_They ran towards Beth, Jonathan and Martin as they approached, hugging each other and smiling sincerely. _

_Hermione found herself engulfed in a hug with Nate and Beth, and she finally felt herself relax, knowing that the two of them, along with everyone else, were safe._

"_Jesus, you scared me." Nate choked out._

_Hermione smiled, as Beth's face light up._

"_I'm fine." She laughed, "I'm just glad you two are. We were meant to be first back, so when that fire started…I thought that you were s-still in there."_

_Hermione hugged them tighter, appreciating fully how close she had come to losing them today. She knew that she wouldn't be able to continue this if anything happened to Nate or Beth. They were the ones that gave her strength._

"_How the hell did you's get out?" Jake said, once they had all calmed down._

"_We weren't there when the explosion went off, we were just outside, actually." Martin answered._

"_Then what took you so long? It was nearly twenty minutes we were waiting here." Nate said sounding very annoyed that they had allowed them to worry for so long._

"_Sorry," Beth smiled, and Hermione sensed that Nate already forgot that he was angry, "But we wanted to stay, to see how many of them would have made it out."_

_Hermione froze; she hadn't even considered what this would do to their opposition. She allowed herself to think about the good of this explosion, it would certainly have reduced the numbers. Judging by the size of it, anyone inside would've been killed. She was immediately disgusted by herself for wishing people dead, but Kelly's face swam into her mind and she couldn't ignore the feeling of vindictive pleasure that they would know what it felt like to lose a member of their team._

"_And?" Jake demanded._

"_No one, not once person left that building, they were all inside it."_

_Hermione was in shock, it couldn't be that easy, could it?_

"_Are you saying-"_

"_Yes!" Beth burst out, "No survivors! Of course, we can't be completely sure, we'll need to watch it, but it doesn't look good. They were all inside, you see, from the battle!"_

_Excitement bubbled inside her, and Hermione found herself feeling suddenly giddy. She knew that it wasn't definite, yet, and they certainly needed to find out what had caused the explosion, but she still considered what this meant if no one survived that explosion._

_They would get to go home._

**Songs for this Chapter:**

**Avril Lavigne- Nobody's Home**

**Josh Groban- Never let go**

**Fame Film (Don't know singer, sorry)- On my Own**

**Nickleback- Far Away**


	9. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the wait with this chapter, it's more of a filler as I was stuck for a while on how to move on the story. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the reviews, I can't believe how many I've gotten for this story! I am very grateful and I've been trying to reply to everyone. Also, a huge thank you to my beta **_**csijenniferlynn**_** for her help.**

**Response to Reviews**

**Guest: Thank you, and thanks for your concern too :)**

**Guest: Thank you :) Took me a while to update, sorry**

**Guest: Thanks, I suppose this story is more about what happens when she returns and I tried to make Hermione's logic believable too, her wasn't really thinking straight she was just desperate to stop Ron (and harry) giving up their auror dreams, and since they were still in training, this job was more dangerous so she took it instead of them. I'm glad you like my writin, one of the main reasons I started this was to improve my creative writing.**

**Guest: She should have done that but she really wasn't thinking straight and you're right, it will be very hard for Ron to take her back. Thanks for the review.**

**Guest: Thank you, I think the main point of the story will be just what you are saying, how they can overcome the barrier between them**

**Jo: Thank you so much for all of your reviews, I'm really glad you liked the chapter and it's good to see someone feels sorry for Hermione :)**

Chapter 8

"And just like that? For no reason, they took over your case?" Percy asked, completely confused.

"Yes," Harry answered angrily.

Ron just continued to seethe silently beside him. He was still struggling to believe what had just happened.

"But that's completely against ministry protocol!" Percy protested, sounding like a child who had just been told they couldn't go to Hogwarts.

"I know," Ron said shortly.

Bill took a generous swig of his drink and then said, "They seem to be bending an awful lot of rules for them, don't they?"

They were in the Leaky Cauldron meeting up for their monthly "Brother's Night," a tradition started after Fred had died and carried on through the years.

Harry was so angry earlier that he hadn't wanted to come, but Ron had managed to convince him that it would be a good way to forget about the mess. But that hadn't happened; Harry was determined to talk about it. It was the only thing the brothers had talked about thus far and it was driving Ron mad.

"Yeah, they have. I mean, I know that they obviously have a job but it seems like they're doing ours," Harry said.

"Did you see what the Prophet said about it all?" George asked.

Ron gripped the bottle in his hands tighter as he nodded along with his brothers.

"They made them sound like superheroes," Ron said through gritted teeth.

"And also managed to pair her with nearly every guy in that department," George said grimly.

Ron saw Bill throwing George a warning look and he rolled his eyes.

"Calm down, Bill," Ron said, "I don't care, really. Talk about her all you want."

Ron couldn't keep the venom out of his voice when he mentioned her, but he didn't care. He could tell that Bill didn't believe him, but Bill nodded anyway.

"So, you aren't allowed to work on that case at all?" Charlie said, steering the conversation back to the matter at hand.

"No, and if we do, it's us that'll be fired," Ron said bitterly.

"I'd just like to know what their qualifications are." Harry sighed.

"So you don't believe that they've spent the last four years developing a machine that can give muggles magic? Or that they've been training an army for the ministry?" George quipped.

Bill chuckled, "You've got to admire the Prophet's originality anyway."

"They've always had the most, uh, unlikely stories." Harry smiled.

"Judging by what we know, and that is nothing, they mightn't be far wrong," Ron muttered to himself.

"Actually," Percy began nervously, "I think that they're like aurors."

"What makes you think that? They're nothing like us," Ron demanded, taking a sip of firewhiskey. He didn't want to be associated with _her._

"The name, Ronald. Have you even thought about it?"

"Not really. I don't care what they're up to."

George threw him a disbelieving look but didn't say anything.

"Well, think about it," Percy slurred, and Ron wondered how he got drunk so quickly, "The _Prevention of Potential Travesties_ Department."

"Sounds like they're out fighting baddies," George said sardonically.

Harry grinned, "She's leading a group of secret ninjas."

They all looked at him strangely. Maybe being the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice had finally sent him round the bend.

"Muggle thing," Harry said after noticing the looks he was being given.

Ron shook his head. He would never understand muggles.

The brothers were silent while Ron pondered his day.

It had been long and stressful. He was fuming that the aurors had been taken off the case, but it wasn't just because of his pride, although he had to admit that his pride had taken a hit. No, it was that woman. Ellie Mathewson. She didn't deserve to die like that, and after he saw her body he wanted to help her. He wanted to get justice for her. It was one of the most horrible scenes he had seen as an auror and he couldn't imagine what kind of spell could have caused it.

"So what about the woman, then?" Charlie asked, as if reading Ron's mind. "Do you know why she was killed?"

"No idea, but get this," Harry said, leaning closer, "She was the one who set up Hermione's department; it was her idea."

Ron nodded when his brothers looked to him for confirmation, and then they all let out shocked breaths.

"That's…that's quite a coincidence," Bill said.

George looked thoughtful before saying, "It all goes back to them, then? What were they doing?"

"You don't think they were up to anything…_dodgy_, do you?" Percy asked, aghast at the thought.

"It does seem odd," Charlie said, "That the minute they come back, the person that sent them away gets murdered."

Ron frowned; he knew that if he were still on the investigation that they would be the first people he investigated, although he just couldn't imagine Hermione, for all that she had done, committing murder.

Ron caught Harry's eye and knew that he was thinking the same thing.

"Oh no," George laughed, "None of that, you two!"

"What?" They said at the same time.

"I can tell when two people are planning something. Hell, I invented it!"

Ron rolled his eyes and mumbled, "We are not planning anything."

"Although," Harry said, "I think we ought to look into them, just in case."

"You think _she _murdered someone?" Ron asked sceptically.

"No, but we don't know who she's working with," Harry stated, "And it's just too suspicious that they've been given this case."

"So you think it's a conspiracy from the ministry?" Percy demanded.

Harry rolled his eyes. "No, Perce. I just think there's more to that department than meets the eye. And I want to know why it's all such a secret."

Charlie sighed, "It's like they're in school again."

"You weren't there when they were in school?"

"-And they can't keep their nosey mugs out of anything." Charlie finished, ignoring George's interruption.

"Do what you want, Harry, but I don't care," Ron said, taking another drink. He didn't want to become involved in this mess any more than he already was.

Suddenly, Ron became aware that the noise in the pub had died down and had been replaced with unabashed whispers.

He noticed that Percy and George, who were opposite him, were staring over his shoulder. George looked angry, while Percy looked nervous. Ron followed their gaze and immediately noticed what, or rather whom, they were staring at.

"Now that," Charlie slurred, "Is timing."

She made her way through the pub, and Ron could tell that she was desperately trying to ignore the stares and whispering directed at her. Ron couldn't make himself feel pity for her; so what if she had to put up with some media attention? This was nothing compared to what he went through when she left.

Everyone's eyes seemed to be locked on her, and Ron was in little doubt as to why. A few weeks ago, the Prophet had announced her return and speculated on the cause of her absence. She had been the talk of the town ever since.

His eyes met hers briefly and he held her gaze determinedly. He was about to turn away when he noticed someone come up beside her. It was a guy, with curly black hair. He whispered something in her ear, but she shook her head, still looking at Ron.

A woman stepped up beside the pair, the same woman that Ron had run into this morning. She stepped in between them and directed them towards the bar. The man followed her, but Hermione pulled her eyes away from Ron's and went up the stairs, waving goodbye to her friends.

Ron sighed, unsure what to make of the exchange. He continued to watch the other pair for a few moments but couldn't see any suspicious behaviour, only obvious flirting.

He inwardly cursed himself for even considering Harry's theory. It had nothing to do with them.

"My round?" Percy asked dumbly, obviously trying to ease the tension.

"Yes!" George exclaimed, "I can't remember the last time you bought a round."

"Well, Audrey and I are saving for a house. We have to make cuts."

Ron forced himself to grin, "You cheapskate, Perce."

"Yeah, don't come out if you're not going to pay your way," Charlie commanded.

"Yeah, you've never dodged a round." Harry laughed at Charlie. "Oh, did I tell you about Ginny's appointment?"

Oo00OO00oo

Hermione stood up, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She hadn't slept last night after reliving her memories. After getting her memories back, she had come to the Leaky with Beth and Nate. Ron had been there and she had acted like a love struck fool by staring at him. She could feel the glares of his brothers on her and had immediately retreated to her room. She had spent the rest of the night staring at the walls of her room.

"Ok. We need to start our investigation today. Has everyone given the ministry a copy of their memories?" Hermione stated.

"Yes, we did that yesterday." Nate said, "Will you please tell us what investigation we have. All we got was a note saying to submit memories and be here early."

"Sorry, but it would have been complicated to explain in a note."

"So we don't have to write anymore reports?" Jake smirked.

"Not right now." Hermione shot back, "I assure you, Jake, that we will be returning to that once this is done."

"Cool it, you two." Martin sighed, "Hermione, what's going on?"

Hermione looked around her, unsure of how to break this news. This was a big deal. The relief that they all felt when their mission ended was all-consuming and she didn't want to destroy the content atmosphere between her team. But they needed to handle this.

Hermione took a deep breath. They were gathered in their office, the seven of them sat in a circle with a table in between them. Hermione had made copies of the case details which were now sat on the table.

"I was called into the Head of Magical Law Enforcement's office yesterday, as you know. A woman was murdered and we are going to be investigating it."

"Wait, wait, wait. What?" Beth said. "We aren't aurors. This isn't our job."

"I know; the aurors were taken off the case," Hermione explained.

"Why?" Martin asked.

"This doesn't make any sense," Ally agreed quietly. Hermione raised her eyes at the girl's sad demeanour.

"I am going to explain now. The woman murdered was Ellie Mathewson-"

Nate looked horrified and demanded immediately, "The one who interviewed us?"

"She didn't just interview us, prat." Beth rolled her eyes, "She set up the department."

"Well obviously, but she interviewed us, too, didn't she?"

"She's dead?" Jonathan said sadly.

"Yes, unfortunately," Hermione answered, while sending a disapproving look at Beth and Nate for bickering at such a serious time.

There was a brief moment of silence. It was their way of showing their respect to Ellie Mathewson.

"This is terrible and I am sad about her death but, I'm sorry, I still don't see why this is our investigation. If anything, we should be too close to the case to work it," Jake said bluntly.

Hermione wondered when they had all become so used to death.

"I know. But she was killed by the suffocating spell."

Hermione could see the shock and fear appear instantly on the faces of her peers.

"That's not possible!" Ally said.

"I didn't think so either, but it happened. It's all in the files."

"But we know they are all gone," Beth stammered. "There was no way that they could survive that explosion. We checked the bodies. Every one of them was accounted for. Hell, we even waited there for days to see if any of them appeared. It's not possible!"

"I don't see how it's possible either, to be honest." Hermione sighed, "But we need to figure this out. The ministry want us to do this so that what happened when we were gone doesn't get out too much. They believe that our…_experience_ in this area will benefit the case."

"Maybe they had other members," Jonathan suggested.

"That's not possible," Nate argued. "We know how many of them there were. We had their records and I spent too long bloody writing down every single one of them I saw to have missed one!"

"Maybe someone else knew the spell," Ally said.

"What? Some other deranged psychopath just happened to create the exact same spell?" Jonathan said sarcastically. "That's likely."

Hermione did a double take. Surely it hadn't been Jonathan that said that? She couldn't believe that Jonathan addressed Ally so rudely.

"Well, maybe someone else proposed the idea of the spell, then decided they didn't want the spell anymore because they created a new spell so it was passed to Williams," Ally said angrily, staring at Jonathan.

Hermione looked at the pair in shock as her companions seemed to be doing the same.

"Regardless of how the spell was created," Martin said, "The matter at hand is who used it. What's the plan, Hermione?"

Hermione shook herself to answer him.

"Honestly, I'm not sure how to handle a murder investigation," she admitted, "My training in this area was minimal so I was thinking it would be good for you, Martin, to lead the investigation itself with your auror experience, as long as you run all the decisions by me. I understand that this is different to the work that we usually do but it does seem to be related to our mission."

"Of course," Martin answered. "I'll need to go to the murder scene and look at all the evidence there first. Could everyone here make a list of who could possibly have access to that spell? I can't think of anyone."

"Good idea." Hermione nodded. "Ally and Jonathan can go with you."

"No, Jake should come. We have to stick with our partners, right?" Ally said, looking sheepish when Hermione turned to her.

With the way that Ally directed this comment to Jonathan, Hermione was sure that she wasn't talking about Hermione's mission-partner rule anymore.

"Of course." Hermione answered, wondering what was going on with Ally and Jonathan this morning- probably a lover's quarrel. "Ok, so you three go and work on that. Here, we will compile a list and see where we get."

Hermione went back to her desk, as Martin, Jake and Ally left the room.

She looked around her for a moment. Beth and Nate were sat together writing up a list while Jonathan remained at his own desk writing his own list. Hermione frowned at his weird behaviour.

"I'm going to the bathroom; I'll be back soon," Jonathan said, standing up suddenly.

The minute he was out of the room Nate exclaimed, "Ok, what the hell is going on with those two? Was I the only one that noticed?"

Hermione gave up on writing her list and made her way over to Beth and Nate.

"No, I noticed, too," She told him as she perched herself on a chair beside Beth's desk.

The two looked at Beth, waiting for her to comment. They exchanged confused glances as she continued to scribble down random names.

"You know!" Nate accused dramatically.

"No…well, I…yes! But I promised I wouldn't tell!"

"Come on, Beth." Nate enticed, "It's just us."

"Fine, but I'm serious Nate, if you tell Ally I told you I'll never tell you anything again."

Nate grinned, "My head is spinning, but ok."

"I won't tell," Hermione agreed. She was curious.

"Well, last night they broke up."

"Again?"

"Why?"

"They haven't broken up that often Nate! Ally came to me in a right state; she said that Jonathan had proposed to her, kind of, while we were away-"

"No way!" Nate exclaimed and Hermione was reminded of girls at school gossiping.

"What do you mean _sort of _proposed?" Hermione asked.

"It was just like a casual thing, you know? He said that he wanted to marry her if they ever got out of there and she said yes," Beth explained.

"So why are they broken up?"

"Apparently, last night Ally brought up getting married and Jonathan…laughed (Beth winced here) and said he didn't mean so soon, he meant in the far off future."

"Ouch," Hermione said.

Nate looked confused, "What's wrong with that?"

Both girls exchanged a look and rolled their eyes simultaneously.

"Boys," Beth muttered. "Anyway, Ally got mad, they had a fight and she stormed off and came to me."

"You think this fight will last?" Nate asked, "They do seem to be very…"

"On/off?"

"Dramatic?"

Their conversation was cut short as Jonathan came back from the bathroom.

"How far have you gotten?" He asked them.

Beth answered quickly, "I've been writing down the names all of them but we know that they are dead so it's pointless?"

The light mood from a few moments ago had vanished and Hermione was reminded of why they were here. She felt ashamed of herself for getting caught up in idle gossip when Ellie Mathewson's murderer was still free.

"Let's look into the background of these people anyway. We can search for them here and see if any of them have a history with Ellie Henderson," Hermione said, trying to think of somewhere for them to start.

An exasperated Nate whined, "But if they're dead what good will that do?"

"Maybe a relative?" Hermione said, well aware that she was grasping at straws.

"We would have known if they made contact with someone. We monitored them 24 hours a day," Jonathan said.

"I know but we need to cover everything. Double check what we already know. Hopefully, Martin and the others will have found something."

**Songs**

**Who Knew- Pink (For Ally and Jonathan)**

**I couldn't think of any for Hermione/Ron this chapter, sorry**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N****: I am very sorry for the long wait, I know that I haven't updated this story in WAY to long but I have reasons. I have been super busy with exams all through January, then my birthday and then I had to finish Heroes Again but I promise not to leave this so long again. The good news is that now that Heroes Again is finished, this is my main focus and the story will pick up from here on out. Ok, so it has been that long since I updated that I can't remember if I relied to the reviews. If not, I am very sorry and I will respond straight away to any I get for this chapter;**

**Unsigned Reviews:**

**Jo****: Thank you so much! I'm sorry this one took so long**

**Alquimista****: Thank you, I'm glad you think the plot as coherent, as it is something I have really been working on and I'm glad that you give honest reviews as it helps me know what way to write. As for Kingsley, he was trying to make some changes and to improve the ministry. He didn't want to be completely relying on the aurors like they were before the Order and he thought that this was a good idea. After all, they were only meant to be going after a smallish threat; he didn't anticipate that they would be so underprepared. It was a rushed decision but he was very under experienced at making these decisions at the time. You're right about Hermione being wrong, her logic was definitely flawed. She wasn't trying to be selfish though, she wanted to keep them out of danger and let them train for the job they actually wanted to do (They had only started training at this stage). She didn't consider that she wouldn't be up for the job because she was being offered it by Kingsley so she assumed that meant she was qualified enough. I agree though that the massacre may not have happened in some ways if they were led better. Hermione hadn't really accepted that she had to LEAD these people and the massacre made her realize that she hadn't been doing a good job. However, it isn't completely her fault; these people were more dangerous than the ministry anticipated. The team, some of them are full aurors but they done a quick training of new people (some who applied to be aurors but were referred) to preserve more actual orders as the DE that were still at large were deemed more of a threat (again the ministry underestimated how big of a threat these people were). Finally, I am making Hermione work for forgiveness in this fic and there will be repercussions for her actions. Thank you so much for taking the time to give such a detailed review and I hope this response was helpful.**

Chapter 9

Hermione hesitated nervously outside the door, trying to steady her shaking knees but it was pointless. She felt queasy in her stomach now and wondered why she had ever agreed to this. It was sure to be awkward and humiliating.

And it was sure to break her heart.

Sighing, Hermione fought down her nerves and knocked on the door.

It opened a few seconds later, its owner looking unsurprised that she was here. Ron stood in the doorway, glowering at her. It made her want to turn around and leave again but she couldn't. Ron had told her to come over, and she had agreed. To leave now would only damage the trust between them even more and then they wouldn't ever have a chance.

_A chance,_ a voice inside her head scoffed, _he asked you to come over and collect your things! There will be no more chances!_

She knew that the voice was right, and she wanted nothing more than to tell Ron to hold onto her stuff for a while longer but she couldn't do that. She had to force herself to maintain her dignity.

"Hello." She managed to choke out.

Ron rolled his eyes but opened the door wider.

"I've got most of it here already, I was just finishing finding it all," He said emotionlessly as he gestured to his living room.

She followed him inside the flat they once shared. She looked around at the place she would always truly call home. She couldn't believe she was seeing it again all this time, she never thought she would.

It looked almost the same as it did they day she fled. The living room was large and spacious but filled with furniture. There was a black sofa in the centre, with a red rug thrown carelessly over the top of it. There were three armchairs in the room that, along with the sofa, formed a semi-circle around the large fireplace. The photos that used to lie on top of the fireplace were gone though. Replaced with small ornaments, some of which she recognised. Some she didn't.

The decor was mostly the same but any traces of her, like the photos or books, had been removed. Her heart sunk a little, though she knew it had no right to.

She turned to face Ron again, to find that he was watching her expectantly.

She gulped. She wanted nothing more than to tell him she loved him and that she didn't want to collect her things. That she wanted to stay. That she wanted to stay with him. That they could give their relationship another go. That she would be better. That she would never leave.

But she couldn't find the words without them sounding painfully emty. Instead she tried again to make amends.

"I'm really sorry, you know, Ron."

His eyes lit up with a passionate fury.

"Not good enough."

That phrase just summed it all up. She would hate herself for leaving him, she would be sorry for the rest of her life that she hurt him but it would never be enough. Because she did hurt him.

Still, there was defiance within her. She would fight for this. She would fight for Ron because no matter how much she didn't deserve him, she loved him more than anything.

"I know, I _know_ that it's not good enough Ron." She implored, "But I really am sorry. If I could take back how much I hurt you, I would!"

Ron stepped closer to her, throwing more things in the boxes around the room.

"You'd take back that you hurt me, but you wouldn't take back that you left?" He shouted at her, seeing the double meaning in her words.

Hermione didn't answer. She couldn't because she knew that she wouldn't take back her choice. In the office with Kingsley that day, she was emotional and illogical and her choice to leave proved that but she couldn't bring herself to regret it. Because Ron or Harry would have left. They would have taken her place and they would have had to face what she faced in the last four years. She wouldn't wish that on her worst enemy, and it would destroy her if it had happened to the boys. They would have been tortured. That alone was enough reason to keep them away. The last few years had broken her. It destroyed her. She couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep and she couldn't function properly and while she knew that was her own fault, she wouldn't take the chance that it _could've_ happened to them.

She would accept that she destroyed her life by her own choices. She would accept that her family hated her. She would accept the guilt that was destroying her. But she wouldn't accept that she could have made any other choice. She couldn't live with herself if she allowed Ron to sacrifice himself while she stayed at home.

She couldn't answer his question. Because while she knew her heart would never want to leave and would never have made that choice if she could avoid it, her brain told her that she had to.

"I thought you would have moved." Hermione blurted out, without thinking, in an attempt to change the topic.

Ron instantly fired up, "I don't think you understand what I went through, Hermione," He said, stepping towards her, "It wasn't like it is now, where I know that you left me. No, four years ago, my _fiancé _didn't come home from work. I thought that something bloody awful happened to you. I thought you were kidnapped or killed! I didn't consider moving away from our home, because I didn't consider that you just left me. I've spent the last four fucking years worrying about you and hoping that I would be able to find you before they killed you! So no, Hermione, I didn't move out. But I bloody wish I did now that I know you ran away!"

"Ron! I made a mistake, I know that! But I promise, I _promise_ I didn't mean to hurt you."

"A MISTAKE?!" Ron fumed, stepping dangerously close to her. "It was more than a mistake. It was unforgivable. You abandoned us all! You abandoned your own bloody family! Because you were too much of a coward to just break off our engagement."

Something snapped within her. Maybe it was the mention of her broken family or the implication that she didn't love him but she couldn't handle it. Every ounce of frustration from the last four years, every feeling of anger that she ever had and every moment of bitterness crept upon her and erupted at that moment. She couldn't control herself. She couldn't stop herself. She was furious.

"I am not a coward! You are wrong! It had nothing to do with how much I love you!" She spat. "And unforgivable? I am not the first person one of us to abandon anyone, am I Ronald? And if I remember correctly, you were forgiven!"

They were face to face now, glaring spitefully at each other. Hermione didn't know what came over her; she didn't want to fight with Ron. She wanted to make up. But she had cracked.

She knew she had dealt a low blow. She knew that she was wrong and certainly out of order but Ron could do that to her. He had always been the only person who was able to break through her calmness and cause her to do things she was not proud of (like the canaries).

"IT DOESN'T EVEN COMPARE!" Ron snarled, "I was a hot headed, hormonal, 17 year old kid. And I came back after a few months! You were my fiancé, Hermione! And we haven't bloody seen you in four years!"

They were so close now that they were nearly touching. She was standing on her tip toes to even see his eyes. They were filled with fire and fury, which she was sure were reflected in her own eyes. She could count the freckles on his nose with how close they were. They were both breathing deeply and shaking from anger.

Hermione knew this was the worst fight they ever had because never before had there been so much hostility between them.

"Don't you _dare_ give me that _I was 17 _rubbish, Ronald Weasley! I was nineteen!" She roared, "And I always intended to come back, you did not!"

"You have some nerve! How dare I?" Ron scoffed, "How dare _you?_ How dare you come into my home and blame me for you leaving!"

Everything seemed to stop in that moment. Their bodies were touching now and Hermione couldn't help as her gaze flickered to his lips. She saw his do the same. There was so much unsaid between them and yet they were filled with passion and lust.

His lips were on hers. Frantically, passionately and angrily they kissed. Their tongues mashed together, in an all too familiar fight for dominance as Hermione ran her fingers though his hair. Ron's hands were on her lower back as he pulled her closer. She felt like she was on fire as her senses went into overdrive. The only thing she was aware of was Ron and how close they were and how much she loved him.

But he broke away from her. For a second, all they could do was look at the other in shock before Ron stepped back. He turned away from her and she tried to hide how much that hurt. Because it _did_ hurt.

Finally he turned to face her again but his eyes were cold and emotionless.

"You need to leave."

"Ron, I-"

"Hermione, lift your things and get out!"

She felt tear prickle in her eyes but she would not cry, not here. Trying to maintain as much dignity as she could, Hermione vanished her things back to her room at the Leaky. She looked one last time around her home, at Ron, and in that moment she wanted nothing more than to leave. With a pop, she was gone.

Oo00OO00oo

Hermione jerked awake, panting for air and sweating hugely. She took a few shaky breaths to calm her pounding heart, adjusting herself to the dark hotel room. She let out a muffled laugh when she realized that she was safe at the Leaky and not back…well, not back there.

She stood up quickly, and then regretted it as the blood rushed to her head. She searched the bedside table frantically for her wand and released a sigh of relief when she felt its familiar warmth in her fingers. It was one of the few sources of comfort she had left.

She immediately lit up the room, feeling much less intimidated now that she could see every inch of it. She was finally able to regulate her breathing. Somehow, the light seemed to act as her patronus, keeping horrifying things at bay. For now.

Hermione raised her wand again, and she cast all of the protective enchantments she could think of over the small room ignoring the fact that she had already had these in place. She finally allowed herself to relax when she was finished.

She ran her hands through her short hair as she tried to shake away the visions of her nightmare. It was just a dream. No reason for a fully grown woman to become upset. She almost laughed at how pathetic she had become, how could she be so scared of something that had already happened?

But even as she tried to convince herself that she could go back to sleep and that there would be no demons waiting for her, Kelly's face swam into her view. Kelly's limp body and the horrendous torture that followed. Those horrible, _evil_ men. Surrounding her. Leering at her.

Shaking, Hermione began to pace the room. She needed to calm down. It wouldn't do to think about this anymore.

She glanced warily at the clock on her bedside table. 3am.

She had to find something to do. She couldn't face the darkness right now.

She knew that another version of her would've lifted a book in a time like this, and submerged herself into another world of fiction, facts or figures. Merlin knew it was what she done after the war. She had used her books as an escape, a way to avoid reality, but now she couldn't allow herself to hide like that.

She couldn't find the calm within herself to forget about her problems for a couple of hours and read about someone else's life. And that scared her. It used to be so easy for her to get lost in books, forget about her own life and read about someone else's but now she never wanted to do that. And it certainly wasn't because she was content in her own life.

No, it was like she was too restless. She didn't have the patience for reading right now.

Hermione let out a humourless laugh. She wondered what those who used to know her would think if they knew that Hermione Granger didn't want to read.

She sighed again before grabbing the cloak lying on the floor. She would go a walk. Walks always helped, that's what her mum used to say anyway.

oo00OO00oo

"You're here early." Nate commented as he strolled into the office.

Hermione looked when he spoke. He was looking at her sceptically obviously wondering why she was here.

"I set the wrong time on my alarm," She lied effortlessly, "Couldn't get back to sleep after that."

Nate nodded as he sat down at his desk.

"What do we have to do today?"

Hermione looked up at the board containing all the information on Ellie Mathewson's murder. She had been looking at it for the last few hours in the hope that something would pop out at her. It didn't.

"We have a few interviews to do. Martin and the other talked to a neighbour the other day, she said she saw something so she's coming down for a formal interview." Hermione answered him.

"Who's leading that?"

"Beth and Jonathan. I think they're the best at that."

Nate nodded, "What do you need me to do?"

Hermione stood up and handed Nate the list of names they had compiled over the last few days,

"Check these with Ellie Mathewson, look for any connections."

"How?"

Hermione rubbed her temple, a headache already forming, "The aurors files are in the order department. Look for Ellie Mathewson's work file, she might've handled something with one of these people," She explained, "And, get the individual files for all of these. Well, whoever has one. She might come up in their file."

"You think we missed someone?" He asked her.

Hermione sighed, "I don't know, Nate. I didn't seem like we did, did it?"

"No, they were all accounted for. We saw the bodies."

"But we had to have," Hermione said, thinking aloud, "How else would that spell have been cast?"

"No idea. But I'll get onto this."

"Thank you. Everyone else should be here soon," Hermione answered, "so they can help. I'm going to talk to Martin about what they found at the scene."

Nate ran his hands through his hair, "I wouldn't get your hopes up. I was talking to Jake last night and he said there was basically nothing, apart from that neighbour obviously."

Hermione rubbed her temple tiredly. This case was one big dead end after another.

Nate looked concerned, "Are you ok? You look rough. I can handle things here if you want to take a break for a few hours."

Hermione sighed. She did look awful. She didn't get any sleep last night. She went walking for hours, until 6am when she could come to work. But all she could think about when she was walking was her confrontation with Ron and that did nothing to calm her down.

Before Hermione could answer, the doors open and Beth and Jonathan burst in.

"Guys, we have to go," Beth exclaimed.

Hermione was startled "What's going on?"

"We've just come up, the department head was waiting for us," Jonathan explained, "There's been another murder-"

"What?"

"Who?"

Beth was becoming impatient, "They don't know yet. The aurors are there but there's no identity. We have to go."

"The same spell?" Hermione asked determinedly. She was beginning to get the feeling that there was much more to the story than Ellie Mathewson.

"Yes." Beth said sadly.

"Ok," Hermione commanded, "Jonathan, I need you to handle everything here. There's a woman coming in a few hours for an interview, go ahead with that. Beth, come with us."

Hermione began putting on her coat as Nate gathered up all the files they had been working on and put them away.

"What will I tell everyone else when they come in?" Jonathan asked

Hermione ran her hands through her short hair. She could barely think straight.

"Um, send Martin over to us. He'll be of more help. You, Ally and Jake can handle things here, right?"

"Sure."

Hermione nodded gratefully. She gestured for Nate and Beth to follow her to the apparation point, and after a quick glance at the coordinates Beth had obtained, they were off.

The first thing that Hermione noticed about their location was that it was in an area that could only be described as _dodgy_. A far cry from the safe and secure neighbourhood Ellie Mathewson was found in.

The second thing that Hermione noticed was that it was crawling with aurors.

Nate frowned beside her,

"Are they supposed to be here?"

"Probably not." Hermione said, "But we don't have their resources. They can stay for a while and we can find out what they know."

"And that's nothing to do with the possibility of seeing the _dashing_ ginger auror that could be here?" Beth smirked wickedly.

Hermione flushed but managed to roll her eyes at the comment. Trying with all her might not to think of last night, of their kiss, she threw Beth an annoyed look. One would think that a topic like Ron would be off-limits, especially to joke about, but Beth had no boundaries.

The Head of the aurors was making his way towards them. Hermione remembered him vaguely from when Ron and Harry had first started their training. She was, however, surprised to see Seamus Finnegan walking alongside him, glaring at her coldly.

"Miss Granger, I presume?" Reynolds said, extending his hand, "I'm in charge of the aurors. Reynolds is the name. "

"Hello, Mr Reynolds. Nice to meet you." Hermione smiled, shaking his hand. "My team and I were notified that the person murdered was killed with the same spell that killed Ellie Mathewson?"

He smiled tightly, "Yes, as far as we can tell. Are you saying that your department will be taking over this murder too?"

"Yes, we are investigating anything in relation to that spell."

Reynolds smiled stiffly at her, "You don't mind if I check with my superiors before extracting my aurors? In the meantime, Auror Finnegan can bring you up to speed."

Hermione nodded as the old man disapparated.

As she turned back to Seamus she could tell that things were not going to be smooth between them. It was disconcerting. She really wasn't used to seeing so much hostility from her peers. Not directed at her, anyway.

"The man was found up in the alleyway ahead," He informed them formally, "He looks to be in his late twenties, early thirties. He appears to have too been killed with the same spell that killed Ellie Mathewson."

Hermione nodded, "Who found him?"

"Just some kid passing through this morning, about an hour and a half ago. He didn't seem to know anything so we sent him on his way." Seamus said.

Again Hermione nodded, making a mental note to have Ally and Jake look into the kid later for thoroughness. Somehow she didn't think it would go down well if she were to mention this in front of Seamus. It would appear like she was undermining the aurors.

"The body's down this way."

Hermione, Nate and Beth followed Nate to the end of the street. The walls were lined with graffiti, everyone in it seemed to be wearing long, black cloaks and Hermione felt a sense of forbidding in their air. In short, it was the complete opposite to the murder scene of Ellie Mathewson.

As they reached the end of the street, they turned and followed Seamus down a thin, long and dark alley. Hermione didn't immediately see the body but she could tell where it was by the group of aurors crowded around it.

Hermione stomach churned as she caught a glimpse of flaming red hair beside messy black. She sighed deeply.

She didn't want to go over and tell them that she was here to take over the case, again. Their reaction in the office the other day had been enough. Hermione felt like the bossy schoolgirl with no friends again as she walked towards them. She was sure that her actions in the next few minutes would isolate her further from her boys and she hated that. Hated that they still had the power to make her feel alone. Not to mention the fight she had with Ron last night. Their kiss only seemed to make things worse between them.

But she had to do this. Mustering a confidence that she didn't have, Hermione squared her shoulders and took another deep, steadying breath. She had gotten good at creating an emotionless exterior, one that showed confidence. If the last four years had taught her anything, it was that showing weakness wasn't an option.

"Harry," Seamus called, "The ones from the Prevention of Potential Travesties Department are here."

Harry looked up quickly, his face looking slightly nervous as he glanced quickly between her and Ron. The glance was quick and surreptitious but Hermione caught it. Ron showed no sign of reaction, other than going slightly straight-backed. He didn't turn around. He was staring intently at the body although she was sure that was just to avoid looking at her. After last night, she didn't know how to act around him. If possible, there was even more awkwardness between them than there had been before.

"Have you gotten approval for taking over the case?" Harry asked, meeting her eye reluctantly.

Hermione nodded, "Your Head of Department is confirming it now."

"And you've been brought up to speed?"

The three of them nodded, but before Hermione could respond Nate spoke up,

"Do you know who he is?"

Harry shrugged, "Not yet. He didn't have any personal belongings on him and it's unlikely he wouldn't have been called in missing, especially if he came from around here."

Just then, Ron stood up, positioning himself beside Harry. Hermione swallowed deeply, struggling to control her erratic breathing. He glared coldly at her, as memories of last night came swarming back.

Ron looked at her, without actually looking at her, and said in a hard voice, "Confirmation just came, it was the same spell."

"Do you have an exact time for the murder?" Beth asked.

"Auror Jones estimated around 5:07 this morning, it was found at 8:30."

Hermione's eyes, in an effort to avoid the awkwardness with Ron and Harry, landed on the body beside them. Her eyes turned to saucers immediately, and she couldn't contain the gasp that leapt unwillingly from her mouth. Her heart began beating erratically as her hands shook with panic. For a moment, she couldn't register that this man was dead. All she could feel was terror, spreading to every inch of her body. Her nightmares seemed to be coming true before her and she grasped desperately for her wand.

She heard only muffled sounds around her. Distantly she could feel pressure being applied to her, was someone touching her? She couldn't tell. She couldn't breathe. She could literally feel the air leaving her body as she struggled to make more enter her overworked lungs. She was suffocating. Black patches were beginning to appear in front of her eyes, as darkness lurked waiting for the opportunity to capture her once more. Her throat made deep rasping noises in an attempt to force her to breathe. _Breathe Hermione_, she told herself. But she couldn't. She was losing it. She couldn't deal with this. She couldn't see his face again. Never.

The last time she had seen him…no! She refused to think about that. But it was too late. Visions of his face leering over her swam before her eyes. Of his laugh as she screamed for mercy. Of his twisted smile as Kelly fell limply to the ground.

"_Hermione!"_

Her head spun as her vision began to clear. She felt numb but pictures were beginning to form in front of her. Hair. Red, black and blonde. They assaulted her eyes. Finally! She could feel herself begin to breathe. She took in a shaky breathe, surprised at how sore her throat felt.

"Hermione?"

She opened her eyes. Blinking rapidly to adjust to the bright light, she found herself face to face with Nate, Ron and Harry. She felt someone holding her up lightly and knew that it must have been Beth. Embarrassment flooded through her veins as she looked at the boys in front of her. Nate looked confused, like he wasn't sure what had just happened, but there was an understanding in his gaze. Harry looked concerned and unsure, while Ron had an unreadable expression on his face.

"Hermione?" Ron asked firmly and she realized it was him she heard calling her earlier too.

Hermione pushed herself back to her feet, ignoring the faint feeling with in her,

"I'm fine." She stammered.

"What happened? Are you ok? Do you need a healer?" Harry demanded, firing question after question at her, "You don't look fine."

Her hands shook but she refused to look at her, for lack of a better word, brother. She couldn't let him or Ron distract her right now. She needed to get out of here but she couldn't without pointing out who the man was. She turned to Nate and Beth.

"He was one of them." Her voice rose slightly in panic but she managed to supress the urge to cry.

"What do you mean?" Beth asked.

Nate had gone ghastly pale and Hermione feared he had got the point much quicker than Beth.

"He was one of them, Beth. I've seen him. He was there the night Kelly died."

She was trying to keep her voice even, but she couldn't quite manage to stop it from shaking at the mention of Kelly.

"He was one of them, _that_ night?" Nate demanded. His tone was furious and he looked at the body beneath them in disgust.

Hermione nodded. Nate understood what she meant. He understood what she saw when she seen the man before her because Nate had rescued her that night. He had been the only one to see the true extent of her injuries. And yet, he still couldn't really comprehend her agony because he wasn't there when they killed Kelly. A much worse pain that Crucio could ever be,

"You know him? What's his name?" Ron said, looking at her strangely. There was something close to concern in his eyes but it vanished just as quickly as it appeared.

"I don't…I don't know his name." Hermione lied, she knew he didn't believe her but she wouldn't allow Ron to get caught up with these people. She had to protect him from that, at least.

"Fine." Ron sighed, and then changed the topic. "You should take a calming draught."

Ron stalked away, presumably back to the auror headquarters. Hermione tried to hide how much it pained her to see him walk away. She turned around and found Harry staring at her intently.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

Hermione nodded calmly. Harry sighed. He looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it, as he followed Ron.

"I'm going to contact the others." Beth said. "Get them to look into him."

"His name's Dominic Mason." Hermione muttered. "See if he has any connection to Ellie Mathewson."

With a pop, Beth disappeared.

"What was that?" Nate asked her.

She met his eyes reluctantly, knowing he was referring to her panic. Ron was right; she needed to get something to calm herself down.

"It just shocked me."

Nate looked unconvinced, "That was a bit more than shock."

"I didn't sleep the best last night," Hermione told him, "It was probably that too."

Nate disregarded this, "Did you get that letter from St Mungos? I got one."

She knew exactly what letter he was referring to but decided to play dumb,

"What letter?"

"You know what letter, Hermione!" Nate said, beginning to get frustrated, "The one that said we should make appointment to talk to someone. Have you made an appointment?"

Hermione snapped, "I don't want to talk to some healer, Nate! There is nothing wrong with me."

"I didn't say there was. But it might help."

"Have you made an appointment?" Hermione fired at him.

Nate didn't answer but he couldn't meet her eyes.

"I didn't think so. So don't tell me what to do," Hermione said, "Now, we need to search around here. See if you find anything from the killer."

Nate nodded, giving up.

"Why would he be killed?" He asked her, "He was one of them."

Hermione didn't answer. That question wouldn't leave her mind either.

oo00OO00oo

_There's nothing where he used to lie_

_The conversation has run dry_

_That's what's going on_

_Nothing's fine, I'm torn_

_I'm all out of faith_

_This is how I feel_

_I'm cold and I am shamed_

_Lying naked on the floor_

_Illusion never changed_

_Into something real_

_I'm wide awake and I can see_

_The perfect sky is torn_

_You're a little late, I'm already torn_

**Torn, Natalie Imbruglia **


	11. Chapter 10

**Here's Chapter 10! A full chapter in Harry's POV. I didn't really want that but it seemed to write itself. I struggle with Harry so let me know what you think. I would just like to say a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm pretty sure it was the most reviews I've ever got for a single chapter in any story. I also reached 100 reviews for the first time ever! I can't believe it I was so happy, I never thought I would ever get so many reviews when I started writing so thank you all.**

**A special thanks to "**_**M" **_**who was the 100****th**** reviewer.**

**Responses to Reviews: **

**There are a lot of people signed as "guest" so this is in order from the oldest reviews to the newest**

**Guest: ****Thank you, I'm glad you like it.**

**Guest: ****Thank you so much. No, I would never drop this story it had just been a hectic few weeks. That's the way I see it too, that she had no choice. They will find out but not yet. Hopefully you like this chapter.**

**Guest: ****I'm so glad that you liked that chapter I was so nervous before updating it.**

**Wanda06: ****Thanks! That chapter was actually the scene that I imagined before I even started this so I'm glad you liked it**

**Alquimista: ****Thank for another long review, and sorry for taking so long. Yes, she did take the decision away from them but for the right reason. I think that Ron and Harry would have done the same thing by sacrificing themselves although the manner in which she left was wrong and maybe that's where they differ. Your second point is completely true. Hmmm, I must be conveying this wrong because she doesn't assume it would be the same. She knows that it would have been different but she didn't want to take the **_**chance**_** that the same thing **_**could**_** have happened, or it could have been worse. Well I don't think it's been a very long wait this time. Thanks so much for the review **

**Matt: ****Thanks for the review. I will really try and work on the characters more. It's something that I spend a lot of time on so thanks for telling me you felt they were wrong. The Harry part was intentional though, hopefully this chapter will explain it.**

**M: ****Thank you so, so, so much for your review. As I said, it was my 100****th**** and I was so happy to see that it was such a lovely one. **

**Guest:**** Sorry that you didn't like it, thanks for reviewing.**

**MeganThompson07: ****Thank you so much, your review really made me smile. I doubt it's anywhere near the best but thanks. **

Chapter 10

Harry knew that he should probably not be doing this. Well, it wasn't that he _shouldn't _be here. _More like I'm endangering my life by being here,_ he though wryly. Shaking his head slightly, and trying not to imagine what his wife, brothers-in-law and mother-in-law would do to him if they knew what he was about to do, he checked quickly to make sure that no one was paying him any attention before looking at the door in front of him.

The Prevention of Potential Travesties Department. The sign stared down at him, as if daring him to enter. Signing, he walked through the doors. He took a moment to take in the spacious nature of the room. There was no denying that it was quite a small room, as far as ministry departments went, but somehow it managed to look pretty big. Unlike the auror department there were not fifty desks crammed into the room with paper and memos flying everywhere but, instead, there were only a few desks, less than ten actually, and the place looked to be rather deserted.

Despite telling himself that he ought not to, Harry couldn't help himself glancing at the papers on the desks. He walked to the desk furthest into the room and smiled slightly at the mountains of parchment covered in an all-too-familiar, neat writing. He found the sight a strong reminder of his childhood and it only reinforced the need to be here.

Squinting slightly to read the writing without being too obvious by bending over the desk, he tried to make sense of the random words scrawled across the sheet. He was sorely disappointed to find that it was only a mission report dated two years ago but he supposed that he should have exoected that. If he knew anything about Hermione he knew that she could keep a secret. She had been keeping his for years afterall.

Nevertheless, Harry read the sheet with curiousity. He knew now that she had been doing something close to Auror work, since she was investigating a crime but he couldn't help but wonder exactly what she had been doing and why they didn't just use aurors.

_19__th__ July 2000_

_Action: Infiltrate opponent's camp_

_Aim: To gain information on enemy's followers_

_Partaker's: Hermione Granger (Leader), Nate Henderson, Jake Roberts (Strategist), Ally Jones_

_Injuries: Hermione Granger, crucioed (2), Nate Henderson crucioed (4), Ally Jones, broken ribs and stabbed (1)_

_Fatalities: None_

_Description: Team attacked guards of camp from behind, stole cloaks and identity cards, and Polyjuice into the guards. Entered though back entrance when summoned to meeting from leader (enemy). H. Granger and N. Henderson separated from J. Roberts and A. Jones. H. Granger and N. Henderson located room which contained list of followers and data on them, known from previous raid, and duplicated all information. J. Roberts and A. Jones created diversion during meeting, claiming that they had located an intruder in the West Wing. H. Granger and N. Henderson ran into six of the enemy, a fight broke out in which both were injured by crucios thrown randomly by enemy. A. Jones joined fight and was beaten and stabbed by one of enemy before J. Roberts activated escape portkey and took her back to base. H. Granger and N. Henderson escaped building after and apparated back to base immediately._

_Level of Danger: High_

_Mission Status: Complete_

_Memory of Mission: Obtained from all parties and in storage _

_Report filed by: Hermione Granger _

Harry was shocked. Whatever Hermione had been up to it was no simple job. Guilt squirmed inside him as he reread and reread the injured list. Crucioed. Twice. How could he have let that happen again? Hadn't he promised her, at Shell Cottage and again after they won, that she wouldn't have to go through that again? He and Ron had both been at her side, telling her that it was over and she was safe and that no one would ever hurt her like that again. But now they had.

"What are you doing here?"

Harry jumped at the sound and looked away from the report as quickly as he could. He turned and saw that it was a man who had spoken. He was tall with defined muscles, although he definitely looked a little underweight. Harry recognised him as one of the people that had come with Hermione to the crime scene that morning. He had thick black hair that was tightly curled and dimpled cheeks. He looked to be around Harry's age. His eyes were a piercing brown and they were laced with suspicion. However, as Harry watched it changed to recognition, with the man's eyes flickering to his scar.

"Well?" The unknown man demanded.

The question stumped Harry but reminded him of exactly _why_ he had come here, even if he was unsure of _what_ he was doing here. The image of Hermione, his best friend and most trusted companion for so long, more or less collapsing had horrified him. It was terrifying seeing the complete panic in her delicate features and it had opened his eyes. What was he doing holding a petty grudge when she had obviously been through something much more important?

It seemed like the reason she left didn't seem to matter to Harry in that moment, nor how long she was gone for, it only mattered that something had happened to her and he didn't know what. And that he hadn't even bothered to find out. He had abandoned her. The realisation had struck him suddenly and he had felt nauseous. Hermione Granger was the one person, in the time of his deepest need, who had never left his side, up until four years ago, and yet when she needed him he hadn't even tried. He was ashamed of himself. In short, he had let his own anger get in the way of the fact that Hermione's choices had nothing to do with him.

He felt even worse knowing that if the situation were reversed, if it had been he that left, Hermione would have tried to find out what was wrong. She would have been persistent and relentless until she found a way to help him. There were two occasions in Harry's past that had sprung to mind when he thought this.

The first was when he was 15 years old and had dragged her to the Department of Mysteries to rescue Sirius. Hermione hadn't wanted him to leave, she had objected loudly and Harry had ignored her. She had been right, of course. It had been a trap and Hermione had nearly died. When Harry went to visit her, a part of him had honestly expected her to say "I told you so" and to tell him what a bad person he was for ignoring her and getting his godfather killed. Of course Harry knew that Hermione wouldn't be so cruel, no one would, but he had been grieving and blaming himself so much that he just expected her to voice his mistakes. But she hadn't. Hermione had asked him how he was and had tried her best to get him to open up about Sirius. She had almost pushed him too far and he very nearly snapped at her to drop it. But then she had just asked him if he could get her some notes from the classes she was missing and let the matter rest. It had actually helped him more to see Hermione be herself again.

The next, of course, was during the horcrux hunt. She and Ron had come with him and they had gotten nowhere. Then Ron left and Harry was so sure that Hermione was going to go too, especially since she missed Ron so much during that time. He had been wearing the horcrux one morning, a few days after Ron had left, and he was driving himself insane thinking about all the mistakes he had made and how he had been doing nothing for months. Hermione came outside then, still looking a mess from crying the night before, and she just seemed to know that he was close to giving up. She didn't say anything, she just asked for the locket. He had only given it to her because she was offended that he hadn't since Ron left. Harry still remembered fondly the long speech she gave on how she was just as capable as him. When she put the horcrux on, instead of going off on her own and trying to ignore the whispering from the locket, Hermione had sat down beside him and told him that Phineas Nigellus had let slip to her that the Cattermoles had fled the country and were being searched by the Death Eaters. That little snippet of news had kept him going for at least a few days. It felt like he had finally done something right, that he had finally helped someone.

Perhaps that was why he had been so angry with Hermione for leaving. Harry had just become so used to unwavering loyalty and helpfulness that he sometimes forgot that she was a normal person and that she could make mistakes.

Harry looked at the man unsurely, "I'm looking for Hermione, Hermione Granger?"

The man raised his eyebrows and Harry got the distinct impression that he knew more than he was letting on about why Harry would be here.

"She's not here." He replied, "She left a few hours ago, something to do with the case. So how did you get in here then?"

Harry stared at the man in shock, "Um, through the door?"

It was the man turn to look disbelieving, he raised his eyebrows incredulously.

"That shouldn't be possible." He muttered to himself.

Harry cleared his throat, "So, er, do you know where Hermione's staying? I need to speak to her."

"No I don't. I'm her co-worker, Nate. Would you like to leave a message?"

Harry was beginning to become frustrated with Nate. He got the impression that he was being deliberately unhelpful although he couldn't fathom why. It had nothing to do with him.

"No, that's fine. I'll just-"

Harry was cut off as someone came rushing into the department. Harry was half-relieved and half-terrified to see that it was Hermione. She hadn't noticed him yet, which was fine with Harry, as she turned her attention to Nate. What was he going to say to her now that he was here? Maybe he should have had something prepared.

"Nate, there you are." Hermione said, "Listen, can you be here early tomorrow? I want to go to his parents' house. Jonathan found an address. I know it's a long-shot that they know anything about what he's been up to but-"

Hermione stopped talking abruptly as she noticed him. As she looked at him in shock, Harry could not help but notice the changes in his friend again. He had seen this new Hermione a couple of times but it was still a shock every time. She just looked so much older now. She had certainly grown up but Harry could still see a lot of the bossy and insecure eleven year old that he met on the train in her. The hair was so hard to get used to. It was nothing like her own and yet it kind of suited her. It seemed to represent the fact that he didn't know much about her anymore, especially if that report was anything to go by. She was thinner too. It made her look to delicate and fragile, although he was sure that Hermione was neither of those things because no matter how long she had been gone, he still knew that about her at least.

"Harry?" She choked out.

Harry smiled at her, albeit a little awkwardly. "I, um I wanted to talk to you. If-if that's ok?"

Hermione seemed to mull this over for a moment. She was obviously unsure about what he wanted but he nodded.

"I'll leave you to it then," Nate said, giving Hermione a meaningful look. "And I'll come in for that tomorrow."

Hermione nodded, "Thanks, Nate."

"No problem," Nate walked toward to the door before turning back to Hermione, "And it seems that the wards were breached."

He looked towards Harry before Hermione's eyes widened, obviously in an understanding of some kind. Harry wondered what they were talking about and made a mental note to think about their conversation later.

Nate left and it was only the two of them left in the department.

Hermione gestured to the sofa near her desk, "Do you want to, um, sit down?"

"Sure." Harry nodded gratefully.

They sat down and the silence between them became all too loud. Harry was desperately racking his brains trying to think of how he could put his thoughts into words. What did one say to a person after four years of no communication? After he had ignored her? After so much had changed?

"Harry, what did you want to talk about?" Hermione sighed impatiently yet he could tell that she was nervous. She kept playing with a chain around her neck.

Harry smiled slightly. He could do this because, no matter how much she had changed, she was still Hermione. She was still impatient, intelligent and his best friend. She was still someone that he could read like a book. He would just have to look a little harder to see that person that he knew.

"I just-I…merlin, this is hard. I, er…" He stammered before just blurting out the rest of his sentence, "I'm sorry Hermione, I'm really sorry. I haven't talked to you at all since you've come back. I've ignored you and I haven't even come to see how you've been doing. I'm just…I'm sorry." He finished, running a hand through his hair.

Hermione looked stricken; she hadn't been expecting him to say that. Harry could tell that her defences had been up and she didn't know how to respond now. Did she really think that he was here to have a go at her or something? The thought troubled him more than he could express.

"It's fine." She muttered eventually. "None of this is your fault."

Harry sighed, wringing his hands.

"It's not fine. I've been a right prat but I really, really want to make this better, Hermione. I want to listen to you and to let you explain, and to try and understand."

Hermione didn't respond. She seemed to be too deep I thought.

"I saw a report on your desk," He offered needing to know what she had been up to, "About a mission."

Hermione became still, "W-which one?"

"I don't know. It was in 2000 and something about getting information on the enemy's followers."

She seemed to relax a little and Harry panicked slightly. If she wasn't really worried about him seeing that report then how much worse were the others? It didn't bear thinking about.

He was silent for a while, unsure of how best to continue the conversation. What exactly was he doing here? What was his plan? What did he want to achieve at the end of it?

Those were the questions that he had been taught to consider as an auror before any mission. He almost smiled at the absurdity that he was considering a conversation with someone who was practically his sister as a mission but he just couldn't seem to find that funny. It was disappointing. How had they gotten to this? Harry paused slightly, _that_ was what he wanted to know.

"Why'd you leave?" He asked, before he could compel himself not to.

Hermione tuned to look at him and Harry was alarmed to see that her eyes were brimming with tears.

"I'm sorry Harry, I'm so sorry…I didn't…I didn't mean for all of…of all this to happen. Please believe me."

Harry was clueless as to how he was supposed to react. But as he saw a few tears escape her eyelids and crawl down her cheeks the scene seemed to transform. This was like every other time that Hermione was crying. He needed to find a way to stop her tears. How many times had he comforted her when she cried? Usually, he had no clue how to and he was always sure that he never helped. But he always tried because she was like family.

Most of the time, Hermione cried over something that had happened between her and Ron. Their latest argument which was, nearly always, guaranteed to be as petty and silly as the last. And Harry had always had his own role during these arguments. He was the person who had to comfort the both of them, especially in their school days. He would play Quidditch with Ron, while avoiding discussing anything like feelings or Hermione. And with Hermione he would either sit with her in the library or, when she was really upset, he would comfort her when she cried.

He would never take a side. In all the arguments that Ron and Hermione got in, Harry stayed out of them, unless he was somehow involved. Sure, he had seen one of them take it too far and hurt the other, but he hadn't picked a team.

Which was what he had been doing recently, he realized. He had been so blinded by his own hurt that Hermione left that he had rooted himself firmly on Ron's team and that meant that Hermione had been on her own.

Yes, Hermione was in the wrong this time but that didn't mean he should abandon her. How many times had Ron taken things too far in an argument? And yes, this was different. But it still wasn't right to choose Ron over her now. The only reason he had was because, for the last few weeks, Harry had been annoyed with Hermione for what she done to everyone around him and not just for himself. Which was wrong.

Because when Ron had returned, during the Horcrux Hunt, Harry hadn't thought about how Ron hurt Hermione when he forgave him. He had only though about how Ron had made up for his departure to him, Harry, and that made all the difference. He knew that there were similarities between Ron leaving them during the Hunt and Hermione leaving them when it was over but they were too different to compare. One thing Harry knew for certain though was that he eventually forgave Ron for leaving and for what he said. So Hermione should have the same chance.

Because that was how they worked. It was his role to be fair and impartial during their fights.

Hesitantly, he leaned forward and wrapped her in a hug. He relaxed when he felt he shoulders start to shake less. Hopefully, he wasn't completely clueless. The only person that Harry ever felt that he was good at comforting was Ginny, and Hermione had certainly always preferred Ron for that kind of thing anyway.

After a few seconds she pulled away and Harry offered her a half-hearted smile.

"I'm didn't mean to upset you, you know," he said kindly, "I just want to understand, that's all. It's because I missed you, Hermione, and I want to know why we had to miss you like that."

Hermione wiped away her tears before her eye fixed on a quill lying haphazardly on her desk. She looked pensive and thoughtful and Harry was beginning to doubt that she would even continue their conversation when she spoke,

"D-do you remember when we were kids and I told you that I thought you had a hero complex?"

"Vividly," Harry smiled wryly.

Hermione gave a shaky chuckle before continuing,

"I just…I could never understand how you could be put in a situation…or dragged into something and immediately think that it was you responsibility or your fault." She said quietly, "I know that there was the prophecy…but, and please don't take this the wrong way I'm not trying to imply that defeating Voldemort was something anyone could have done but I…I just always thought that you didn't have to take on so much responsibility…that you could have left it to someone else or let others help you."

Harry nodded stiffly, wanting her to continue but unsure of where she was taking this.

"Oh please don't be offended, Harry." She exclaimed, picking up on his mood, "I don't mean that anyone could have done what you did. I know that I wouldn't have been able to. I just…oh, I'm not doing a very good job of explaining this am I?"

Harry patted her shoulder reassuringly, "Calm down, Hermione. I'm not offended just take you time, yeah?"

"You always felt that it was your responsibility, right? That's what I mean," Hermione clarified, "When we found out that something was going on, you always jumped to investigate it and even though most of the time it did involve you, well…you never knew that when you starting looking into the stuff, like first year."

Harry nodded, finally understanding what she was talking about. His curiosity was peaked in first year after meeting Fluffy and when he found out something bad was happening, he had just felt like he should look into it.

"It never occurred to you, in all the time I've known you, to leave it to someone else or to let the teachers handle something even though they probably could've handled it easily."

"Well, you and Ron always followed me so I guess it never occurred to you either." Harry said modestly.

"Oh it occurred to me but you were unstoppable when you set your head to something."

They both chuckled together and Harry was feeling nostalgic. This was just like old times.

Another tear trailed down hermione cheek causing Harry to wonder if she had been recalling old memories too.

"In-in Kingsley's office that day…I mean, I get it. I get it now, Harry."

Harry's eyes widened slightly in anticipation of what she was about to tell him but he remained silent,

"He offered me that…job, I suppose. And I just…got it." Hermione spoke gently, "I know that…someone else…could have done it, they could have done it much better than me but when he spoke to me it was like it was my responsibly. I was the first person to be offered it, just like you were always the first person to realize that something was wrong at school, and I thought how could I just go home and ignore this and wait for someone else to take it when I was asked to? And I couldn't live with myself if…someone else…got hurt because I was too much of a coward."

"I guess that I can't really argue with that. It would be a little hypocritical wouldn't it?"

She smiled, "Thanks but they're still different. I shouldn't have gone about it all the way I did, should I?"

"A letter at least would have been nice," Harry agreed, "But there's nothing we can do about that now anyway so there's no point thinking about it."

They two adults lapsed into quiet, each lost in their own thoughts and pondering all that the other had said. Harry was just glad that he could understand, on a basic level, why Hermione made the choices that she did.

"I want us to be on friends again. I know that it's going to take time for things to go back to normal between us but they will, right?" Harry said honestly. "I've missed you so much, you know. We were all devastated."

Tears slid down Hermione's cheeks as she hiccupped through an apology.

To his horror, Harry felt some moisture appear in his eyes which he hurriedly blinked away. He stood up slowly and Hermione followed suit. They stared at each other awkwardly for a moment before Harry pulled her into a stiff hug. Over her shoulder his eyes landed on the mission report on her desk. He was worried about her. Whatever she had been doing in the last four years was dangerous and painful and, judging from her panic attack today, had not left her unscathed. Suddenly he felt an overpowering brotherly urge to protect her. No matter what has changed between them he would she would always be family after all.

"You know," he began hesitantly, "You can talk to me about anything. If you need to."

Hermione smiled sincerely, "Thank you, Harry."

They both knew that she would not accept his offer, she was too proud, but it was the offer itself that made all the difference.

They stepped away from each other and Harry glanced at his watch, alarmed to see that they had been here for over an hour.

"I have to get home. Ginny's going to kill me for being late."

_That amongst other things_, he thought.

"How is Ginny?" Hermione asked sheepishly.

"Yeah, she's doing great. We're having a baby."

He did not intend on saying that but it seemed to slip out. He could not help feel more complete now that she knew, like he had been waiting to tell her this big news. Subconsciously he probably was. When he had been telling Ron a few weeks ago and asking him to be Godfather there had been no denying that something was missing. He had always imagined telling his best friends together.

"That's…wow…amazing! I'm so happy for you, Harry. You've finally gotten everything you wanted." Hermione said, genuinely delighted for him.

Harry thanked her before making his way to the fireplace.

Harry knew that she wasn't only referring to the baby but the other stuff that she had missed. Like his wedding when he finally married Ginny or when he became a fully-fledged auror. He could not help the sadness and slight resentment that always washed over him when he thought about how she missed those events but for the first time in a long time, these feelings were minimal. He was finally appreciating that she was here, and safe, and alive. None of the horrors they had been imagining for years were true. Well, most of them weren't. Once again the information that she had been tortured again leapt to his mind but he pushed it down. Things were not healed but they were getting better.

_**Lean on me, when you're not strong**_

_**And I'll be your friend**_

_**I'll help you carry on**_

_**For it won't be long**_

_**'Til I'm gonna need**_

_**Somebody to lean on**_

_**Please swallow your pride**_

_**If I have faith you need to borrow**_

_**For no one can fill those of your needs**_

_**That you don't let show**_

_**So just call on me brother, when you need a hand**_

_**We all need somebody to lean on**_

_**I just might have a problem that you'd understand**_

_**We all need somebody to lean on**_

_**Bill Withers- Lean on Me**_


	12. Chapter 11

**Hello! It has been ages but, finally, here is the next chapter. My exams are finally over and it is great to be writing this again. The time away from writing actually made me more determined to keep going with the story and so I should be getting chapters up much faster now. for all the reviewers who wished me luck in my exams, it was really appreciated. **

**I tried a few new writing techniques here so I'm kind of interested to see if anyone spots them. Let me know if you do**

**Thanks to the reviewers who reminded me to update within the last few days. It gave me the push I needed to start writing again.**

**I thought I'd include a quick recap since it's been so long since I updated so anyone that remembers doesn't have to read this.**

**RECAP: Hermione has been away for four years with no contact with anyone. She was part of a ministry department who were investigating a murderer which turned out to be more of a threat than people thought. Her partner in this team is Nate. Ally and Jonathan were in a relationship but broke up a few chapters ago. Beth is Jonathan's partner. Jake is Ally's partner. Martin's partner Kelly died, Martin is older than the other members of the team. Murders were committed using the same spell that the group Hermione's team were tracking used and so they are now investigating these murders instead of the aurors. Harry and Hermione made up in the last chapter. Ron hasn't forgiven Hermione and while she was away he had one serious relationship with a Leaky barmaid (remember that. It was mentioned near the beginning).**

**Responses to Reviews (Chapter 10)**

**Laxwriter- ****Thank you so much. I am so glad to see that someone sees Hermione's reasoning. Sure it would be hard for others, who missed her, to accept but that doesn't make her choice wrong. Thank you.**

**PF2724- ****Thank you so much, you have no idea how much that means to me and I am so grateful for your review.**

**Sarden-**** Thank you so much!**

**Placebo13: ****For some reason I have never seen that review until now, it never came up in my emails. But I would like to say a huge thank you for that review. That is exactly how I perceive Hermione I this story. I don't think she made a mistake, I think she made a decision with unseen repercussions and she is desperate to make amends. Thank you so much for showing me that not everyone hates Hermione because if they did I am writing this wrong. I did mean to make it seem like Kingsley didn't think they were much of a threat initially and that it wasn't supposed to be a long mission. Like a trial. Hermione was used to give members of the team confidence and because aurors were stretched after the war that was why they needed a new group. I mustn't have conveyed that well. The reason they are investigating the murders is that the spell used is the one that the group Hermione's team were tracking used. I think eventually, they will have to cooperate with each other. No, your review didn't bore me at all. I wish I saw it sooner so that I could answer you because it was really great, thank you so much.**

**Fred: ****Thanks for the review, although I don't think you will like the outcome of this story much judging by it but I hope you appreciate why the characters will make the choices they do.**

**Jo: ****Thank you so much! I am so happy that you liked the chapter. I was nervous about updating it because it was so important but I am happy you liked it**

Chapter 11

Ron rubbed his eyes tiredly, struggling to focus on the paperwork in front of him. It had been a long night, that was for sure, and he had been in the office since eight this morning in an attempt to catch up on his paperwork.

Just as he was about to begin his next report, Harry came into his office. Ron smirked at his friend as he saw Ginny's lipstick on his face. An internal battle raged inside Ron. Should he tell him? He knew that it would be entertaining to see his face. Harry had never got over the fear that one day Ron would murder him for being with his sister. Maybe Ron played on it a little.

"Harry, mate-"

Harry cut him off sharply, "Not now, Ron. I'm running late this morning. Reynolds called me twenty minutes ago so I don't have time to chitchat right now, ok?"

Well that answered his question. He wouldn't tell him. Sometimes Harry just made himself trouble. Instead, Ron choose to ask a different question,

"Why are you so late? That's not like you."

Harry raised his eyebrows

"Why are you so early? That's not like you."

"Touché." Ron allowed, "But I have paperwork to catch up on. I thought I better just get it over and done with quickly."

Harry nodded as he grabbed a set of piles from his desk.

"Yeah, I have a load of that to do too." He said, "We've had a lot of missions lately, I've had barely any time to file anything. Anyway, I was late because Ginny was pissed at me last night and I wanted to make sure she was ok before I left."

Ron wondered how Harry making sure Ginny was "ok" led to him being covered in lipstick but he did not voice this for fear of what Harry would reveal. There were some boundaries to Harry being married to his sister and Ron would be damned if he was responsible for the crossing of those boundaries now. Some things he would never need to know about Ginny.

He had a fair idea what they were fighting about though.

"Listen," Harry said, looking at him from the door, "I have something I need to talk to you about later. Can we go get a drink or something?"

Ron nodded, "Sure."

He watched as Harry disappeared through the door. He couldn't help but feel glad that Harry was going to be honest with him. He already knew what Harry wanted to talk about. Or at least, he had a very strong suspicion but his suspicions were usually correct.

His thoughts wandered to what he had seen last night. He had been in the office, trying to get the day's events out of his mind when he saw Harry enter Hermione's department and Hermione herself enter a few minutes later.

Though he would deny it if anyone asked, Ron was actually kind of relieved that Harry went to see her and that they had made up. Well, he assumed they made up anyway because why else would Harry want to talk about it?

It was good though, that Harry checked on her. No matter what happened, there are certain people in the world that you will always care a little about even if you no longer want anything to do with them. Childhood friends, first loves, fellow soldiers in battle. Hermione Granger was all these to Ron even if he wanted to forget she ever existed. It was these connections to her that he thought of yesterday when she zoned out. It was frightening to see her so…lost? Ron didn't know how to describe how she seemed except absolutely terrified. She had hid it well from the others but Ron cold still read her better than anyone else. It was a little scary; he was surprised that no one else could see what was so obvious to him. Yes, they could all tell there was something wrong (it was hard not to see that when she fainted) but no one else seemed to react to the sheer terror in her face. It was something that he never expected to see, in that magnitude, after the war in Hermione's eyes.

That was why he had seen them last night. He hadn't gone home. Every time he tried to leave he felt a pull towards the newly added department down the hall. He knew really that he wasn't trying to forget the day's events when he stayed at the office last night. If he wanted to ignore something that happened at work he would go home. That was simple logic.

No, Ron knew that last night he had come dangerously close to breaking his own rules. He almost went to see her. Not because of some great romantic need or anything like that, but because before they had even began dating she was one of the most important people in his life and he could not stand by and watch anyone he knew even remotely suffer. Especially not her.

He was aware that he probably sounded like a pathetic sap but Hermione had always been his best friend, even before he had any feelings for her. And when your best friend is hurting, you help them. Seeing her like that yesterday had scared him. It showed Ron that while she may have broken his heart she was also a person he used to know who was going through a hard time. He was not brought up to ignore anyone else's suffering and he had learned over the years that just because you pretend a problem isn't there, doesn't mean it goes away.

But he ignored the pull towards her office because in all honesty, what could he do? Ron wasn't stupid, he knew what would happen if he went to speak to her. They would end up fighting and screaming. He would get caught up in his own anger and that wouldn't help anyone.

Yet he still wouldn't go home. As his mother would say, he was glutton for punishment. It just felt wrong to abandon someone in their time of need. Especially her: when every instinct he had ever had was to run directly to her when she needed him.

Eventually Harry appeared. He was probably experiencing the same thing but Harry was able to be the bigger person. Always had been. He knew that most people would expect him to be annoyed that Harry was with her but, and this surprised even himself, he found that he felt relieved. Maybe he was growing up a little. Ron grinned a little at the thought.

The door to his office slammed open unceremoniously and dragged Ron from his thoughts. He looked up to see the excited face of Seamus grinning at him from the doorway.

Ron raised an eyebrow at this chirper attitude. It was unnatural to look so delighted at this time of the morning, if Ron said so himself.

"You ok?" Ron asked cautiously.

"Oh yes." He smirked, "I have something that will brighten your day right up, mate."

Seamus walked forward and tossed a small strip of parchment casually onto Ron's desk.

Ron eyed the paper, staring at the seemingly random address, before realising that it was a case. He grinned gratefully. There was only so much paperwork a man could take after all.

"You're leading on this case, apparently," Seamus continued, "Reynolds said to take the usual team. I already got them all together and told them the craic, so we are ready to go."

Ron nodded as he ran his fingers along his pocket to check that his wand was still in place and quickly threw on his official auror robes over his casual trousers and t-shirt.

"What're the details?" He asked his fellow auror as they left his office together.

Seamus glanced at the report in his hand and adapted a sombre expression. Ron smirked at the fact that Seamus was completely aware of how inappropriate it was to be so happy about someone needing aurors. He just ignored that feeling most of the time.

"Murder of an old lady." Seamus said grimly as they approached Ron's team.

"She was found in her home this morning by a random civilian. It was a sales wizard and the man reported it immediately. That's all we know."

"Ok, thanks mate." Ron said.

Seamus quickly stood alongside the other aurors who were gathered around a board at the end of the offices. Ron positioned himself in front of the board and waited for silence before addressing them. While he was waiting he checked his team for the mission. It was his usual crowd. Seamus, an older man Jefferson, Mary and a few lackeys who Ron assumed were new recruits. It was a pretty good team but Ron had always preferred either worked with Harry or alone.

"Listen up everyone," He commanded, "When we get there I want Mary and a trainee to speak to the man who found the body, collect a statement. Jefferson, can you look over the body? A trainee in that field can assist. Seamus and I will handle the crime scene. Report back to me anything you see. The address is Summertone Manor, Wigan. Let's go."

oo00OO00oo

Ron made his way cautiously through the large house. The only way to describe the place was dreary. And dusty. Very, very dusty. He walked down a narrow hallway, the cream floral paper on the walls was peeling with the wood on the doors splintered and warped dramatically. He looked at the stairs and almost considered going up but they looked too unstable for his weight.

He walked from the hall into the kitchen. The stench that met his nose was revolting. The poignant nature of it attacked his nostrils and if he did not know better, Ron would have guessed the body was in this room. The source of the smell seemed to be the dishes and food lying about the counters and table. If he overlooked the dust, flies and smell it would look like a normal kitchen during breakfast with food and dished lying everywhere.

But to say the food was mouldy would have been an understatement. Bowls contained cereal that looked to be frozen in place and Ron guessed that most of the smell came from the milk inside it. There was bread lying on a place but is was purple and crumbling. The Prophet sitting on the counter was dated about 5 years ago.

"No one's been here for a while." Ron said as he heard Seamus approaching him.

Seamus let out a bleak laugh, "Got that right, mate. Jefferson says the body's been there about 5 years. A really nasty murder. She was stabbed 3 times, with the knife dragged down inside her to cause as much pain as possible, and then, after all that, he decided to use Avada Kedavra on her."

"Showing mercy at the end?" Ron frowned.

"Hmm. Maybe. I also thought you might be interested to know there was no sign of a dodgy curse so this case will remain an auror case." Seamus grinned.

Ron forced himself to crack a smile for Seamus' sake.

"Good to know. Anyway, I checked and the woman who owned this house was called Jane Crossan." Ron said, "She lived here with her husband for about twenty years. He died ten years ago. They had a son too but he doesn't seem to have been around much."

"Yeah that's probably why he hasn't ever found her here." Seamus suggested.

Ron shrugged, "Maybe but its still odd. He hasn't even checked on her in 5 years? Check him out. But, honestly, this looks more like a robbery gone wrong or something to me."

Seamus scribbled something down on parchment as Ron observed the kitchen again. Judging by the fact that there was only one place set for eating, it looked like the woman was the only one present in her home at the time of the murder.

His eyes were drawn to a family portrait at the back of the kitchen. It held three people inside, presumably the Crossan family. For a wizard photo, it was a very still image with only slight movements. A slender, sleek black haired man had his hand on the shoulder of his wife. The woman had very severe and harsh looking features. Her straight brown hair scraped back into a neat bun with high cheek bones and a straight-lined mouth instead of a smile. Both her hands were on the shoulders of her child, the image of his father, and yet it did not look like a motherly embrace. It appeared to Ron that she was restraining the child more than showing him any affection.

It was easy to see why this family had ended up so broken. How the woman had ended up alone without even her son caring about her. Ron guessed that she pushed him away. That she did not have the time or attention for her child. And it led to this.

How sad it must be to be dead for 5 years and have no one notice, or care, that you were even gone. Was it really possible to be so horrible, to have ties severed so permanently, that your dead body remained on noticed for so long? The thought made him shudder. It was tragic. Was the mother so cruel or was her child really so uncaring?

How could a person not care about a family member at all? No matter what they had done to you surely you would check up on them. Especially if they were all alone.

"Ron?" Seamus called, "The Sales Wizard is going to give a statement, what do you want us to do?"

"Take him back to the department." Ron answered, snapping out of his thoughts. "I'm going to look for the closest neighbours and ask about the woman. Leave a trainee or something here and make sure all the evidence is taken back to the office, ok?"

"Yes sir."

As Ron turned away he caught one last glimpse of the family portrait on the wall and swallowed loudly. He wouldn't lie. He was completely intrigued by the life this family led. Perhaps the only lie he told himself was that this family didn't remind him of another family of three who he used to know.

oo00OO00oo

For one absurd second, she thought that it was someone else. That there was someone else in her room staring back at her in the mirror because surely, surely, that young woman could not be her. She didn't recognise this pale, skinny and rigid woman. Her hair was growing, yes, but its colour was a little too dark. It just looked lank and lifeless, despite the small curls forming. Her hair used to be one of her most defining features. Thick and voluminous. Not anymore.

Her face was haunted. She wouldn't say that, on a first glance, she suddenly looked horrendous. But she looked so different. Her skin was stretched tightly to her face, making her features seem much more prominent. It was as if there wasn't enough of it. She was a ghastly pale colour with her skin actually looking dry and cracked. The effects of too long with no sun she supposed. Her shoulder blades were sticking out and her collarbone was much more noticeable than it ever was. She wondered when she had gotten so thin. As a child and young girl it was so important to her to be thin. Yet now, she would rather be plump than look like a skeleton of herself. People on the streets would look at her with pity. They would think she was sick.

She quickly took her gaze away from her body and it landed on her eyes. Oh Merlin, they pained her the most. She just seemed so lost. There was nothing behind them. No traces of life. The colour that used to seem like warm chocolate now looked like as dull as her hair. They looked so tired. She had placed a glamour on the black bags and yet it was like she could still see them. She could feel they were there.

She was being ridiculous. She sighed. She was overanalysing everything. A passer-by wouldn't notice anything different about the way she looked. _Those who knew you would_, a tiny voice in the back of her mind said but she ignored it. Instead she quickly pulled the black dress she was wearing into place and slide on a pair of sleek heels.

A knock at her door disrupted her thoughts. Hermione jumped at the sudden noise and quickly grabbed her wand from the bedside table. She held it out in front of herself, positioning her feet should-width apart and facing the door.

"Who is it?" She called.

She heard a sigh on the other side.

"Beth and Ally, open the door."

She smiled at little. How silly she was to get so worked up. She was expecting them for Merlin's sake. Not to mention the fact that if she didn't know them, they wouldn't even have been able to knock on her door. She just had an odd feeling. Like she wasn't safe.

A few minutes later, the three were climbing into a table in the bar of the Leaky Caldron. Hermione sat looking towards the door and couldn't help herself monitoring it constantly. She really needed to relax.

"Ok," Beth grinned, "Girl's night can officially begin! Hurrah!"

Hermione and Ally exchanged an exasperated look. Beth was too excitable for her own good sometimes. Still, her mood was infectious and it was nice to see her so free and happy.

"Hear, hear." Ally smiled.

"You know, I think tonight is going to be brilliant." Beth continued, "We don't do this enough-"

Hermione laughed, "Did I miss the row of bars near base or something?"

"-and who needs men anyway? They only slow us down." Beth continued.

Hermione nodded knowingly. Beth had been dropping hint after hint to Nate today at work and the clueless goon failed to notice. Hermione felt for Beth, she really did. It couldn't be easy to keep flirting with a guy who was so oblivious. It made Beth think that he didn't like her in that way and Hermione could have hit him over the head because it was just the opposite. It seemed that Nate was shy. The last thing Hermione would ever have thought.

A waitress approached their table carrying a tray of drinks. Judging by the huge amount of them it was Beth that ordered them. Hermione smiled in thanks to the petite blond waitress. She watched uncomfortably as the waitress' eyes widened in recognition. The look of shock was quickly replaced by a look Hermione couldn't place…anger? She shook away the thought. She didn't even know this girl.

"Thank you, my dear." Beth crooned, "Just keep these coming all night if you don't mind."

The waitress smiled stiffly and walked away.

"I think you scared her off." Ally giggled, waggling a finger in Beth's direction.

It seemed Beth wasn't listening. She had already begun necking the drink in front of her which looked to be some kind of cocktail.

Hermione collected her own drink and looked at it intently. Suddenly, the desire for alcohol consumed her. Every bone in her body screamed for the oblivion that it would bring. She could simply forget all about her day. Her week. Her last few years. The investigation wasn't going well. Her mother didn't want to see her. God knows where her father was. And Ron…well. She missed him. The honesty of the emotion surprised her. She simply missed him.

She grabbed the glass in front of her and drained it as quickly as she could, waiting for the effects to kick in. As Hermione polished her second glass she felt her worries become insignificant. The feeling was nice. It didn't stop her thinking about them. But it did seem to make her feel unattached to her life. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

The night seemed to fly by pretty quickly and Hermione lost count of the number of drinks they had. With each one, she felt her muscles relaxing and the weight on her shoulders lessening a little more. They joked and laughed and told stories that they had all heard before. In the back of her mind she knew it was forced but she didn't care. She needed something superficial for once.

She must've drifted away from the conversation for when she returned it was much more sombre.

Ally was leaning against her hand while she swirled in drink in her glass. Beth was gently whispering to her while rubbing her hand consolingly.

"-thought it would all be ok when we go home." Ally sighed, "I thought we were solid, you know?"

Hermione felt a tug at her heart. Poor Ally.

"Ally," Hermione began, leaning towards the girl, "I'm sure this will work out in the end. Being home…it just takes a bit of adjustment, right?"

Even to her own ears the words sounded silly but it seemed to make Ally feel better. That was all that mattered. She was so sick of everyone she cared about being upset. It wasn't fair. Ally and Jonathan fought so hard to be together. They survived four years of hell and their relationship only got stronger. Why was it crumbling now? When they were finally safe, why were they falling apart? It seemed like cruel irony.

"Ally," Beth said strongly, "I know Jonny, I know him better than most and I know how he feels about you. He loves you. But he just…scared. After everything with his parents he doesn't want to mess things up. He doesn't want to get too involved. In case he loses you. But he does love you. Please…just be patient. I know he will come through."

Beth's conviction and loyalty to her partner made both Hermione and Ally crack a genuine smile. Hermione turned to look at Beth meaningfully.

"Patience is important." She said, "No matter what I'm sure that he cares about you and if you are patient he will come around."

Beth's eyes seemed to water a little and Hermione knew that Beth had realised she was no longer talking about Jonathan. Hermione sent her a final reassuring smile before turning back to Ally.

"You really think he'll come around?" Ally asked.

"Of course." Hermione answered.

If she were being honest, she hoped for all their sake that Jonathan and Ally did get back together. They had a tendency to drag everyone down with them when they fought. It created an uncomfortable working environment, to say the least.

"Well, enough of that. I think we need some more drinks." Beth giggled. "Hermione, will you get them? Just ask for the same again, hun."

Hermione rolled her eyes at the order. After taking a quick glance at her watch she realised they could probably afford to stay for a little while longer without having a brutal hangover tomorrow. Besides, she wanted to forget for just a little while longer.

She made her way to the small bar. She giggled softly to herself when she tripped over a person's feet and barely avoided meeting the floor. She steadied herself on the bar counter and glanced around hoping that Hannah was there. She wasn't but the waitress from earlier was.

Hermione smiled as she approached.

"Hello, can I have the same order again, please?"

"No problem," The woman said without looking at her, "Would you like me to bring them over?"

Hermione considered it for a second, seeing it was likely that she would fall over but eventually shook her head. The poor woman seemed to be rushed off her feet enough without running after them.

As the woman began to make the cocktails, Hermione leant back on the counter. Her hands shook slightly and she began to peel the edges of a beer mat back into their original space. The movement gave her some comfort and she enjoyed being able focus on something even if she could not hide the cracks on the mat completely. It annoyed her that they were so obvious. Why would someone peel away the corners to begin with?

"So, you're back?"

Hermione jumped at the waitress' voice and was shocked to see the woman staring directly at her with an unreadable expression. She supressed a sigh at the question. It was the first time that someone she didn't know had brought it up and she didn't like it. She got the feeling that the woman had an advantage of some kind. Like she knew something Hermione didn't.

Hermione cleared her throat uneasily, "Oh, yes. I am."

The woman put down the drink she was making. Hermione was disappointed to see it was only the second one and she couldn't leave until she got the third.

"Have you spoken to Ron yet?"

Hermione started, unable to believe someone had just asked that. It was so…intimate. It would be too personal to ask if she spoke with her family. Asking, specifically, if she had spoken with Ron was…unbelievable.

"Excuse me?"

The woman seemed less confident now but there was something like determination in her eyes.

"I just wanted to know if he finally got answers." She said pointedly.

Hermione swallowed loudly. That one stung. But she would be damned if she let the waitress know that.

"Do you know Ron then?"

The woman stared at her intensely for a while as if deciding what to say. Hermione had a feeling of forbidding in her gut which she tried to ignore. The waitress began to dry a glass as she pondered what to say next.

"Yes, I know him quite well." She said quietly.

Hermione could only nod dumbly, "Oh."

It was so odd. She hadn't been expecting that answer. There never used to be people in Ron's life that she didn't know.

The woman met her eyes slowly and gave Hermione a look that was almost apologetic,

"We were dating for almost a year."

Hermione sucked in a breath as the bar seemed to spin a little. She doubted it was from the alcohol. The revelation was like taking a knife to her heart. She shouldn't be surprised, she _wasn't _surprised, and yet it was like the bombshell had come out of nowhere. Ron had moved on. Like she had hoped he would. There were times when she had doubted she would ever return and so she had desperately prayed that Ron would give up on her. That he would stop loving her. But now…with the reality that he had…Hermione could feel the last remains of her heart shattering.

With her eyes filling quickly, Hermione knew she needed to get out. She didn't want to seem like some stupid and naïve girl but suddenly that was exactly who she felt like. Of course Ron had moved on and of course she would have to deal with that. She just didn't expect it to be so soon.

"I'm sorry." The woman sighed, "I shouldn't have said anything. I just wanted...I suppose I wanted to understand why he couldn't…He could never seem to forget you."

The woman expression was one of sadness and resignation as she placed the final cocktail on the tray. Hermione stood stock still as the waitress walked away. She tried to ignore the pang in her heart and slow down her erratic breathing. She didn't know what to make of the bizarre encounter.

Hermione felt embarrassed. She felt like she shouldn't have heard that last sentence. It wasn't fair to Ron and she felt dirty, somehow, for knowing such a personal matter. Realising that the drinks were ready, Hermione grabbed them as quickly as she could and made her exit.

When she got back to the table, Ally and Beth were sniggering together as they recalled ex-boyfriends. Hermione placed the drinks on the table but she didn't sit down. She felt disconnected from the pair now. The buzz that the alcohol had given her seemed to make to crash to the ground now following her conversation with the barmaid and she struggled to meet the eyes of her friends. She needed to leave. She needed to be alone and process this. Suddenly the crowd in the bar seemed much too large and she longed to the isolation of her base to think.

"I-I…I have to go." Hermione stuttered, grabbing her small clutch bag.

Beth looked up, "Why? We were just getting started…Hermione? Are you ok? Did something happen?"

"No," Hermione forced herself to smile, "Of course not. I just, well I haven't been sleeping the best recently and I really want to be, um, refreshed tomorrow for…for work, you know?"

Ally nodded at her and Hermione was ashamed to see pity in the younger girl's eyes. Was she really so tragic? Did her friends pity her? Why? They all went through the same thing. Hermione didn't look at them with pity.

The room seemed to spin as the music of the bar suddenly seemed far away. No. No. No. She couldn't panic right now. She didn't want to give them another reason to _pity_ her. No, she had to hold it together. Just until she got to her room. Then she could let it out. But not now. She was their leader. She couldn't let Ally and Beth see her weak.

"Goodnight." She said half-heartedly, already turning away.

The walk back to her room seemed so long and tiring. She stopped outside her door and stared at the number in front of it with disdain. The realisation that this was the place she called home hitting her at once. She was living in a hotel room. How pitiful was that. There was that word again. Pity.

Hermione's hands shook as she opened the door to her room. Her head was pounding. She needed to lie down.

The door finally opened and Hermione stumbled through it. She locked it immediately and strengthened her wards. Turning she leant back against the door and closed her eyes. Taking deep, calming breaths Hermione forced herself to relax. Opening her eyes, the room seemed cold and oddly lonely. Had she never noticed before how bare the room was? How devoid it was of personal articles?

As she kicked off her heels and walked away from the door, Hermione felt something stick to her foot. Bending down she realised it was an envelope attached to her foot heel. Her hands shook as she lifted up the envelope.

How had it gotten in? The wards wouldn't allow that. Was someone in her room? Hermione quickly raised her wand. She cast and recast every protective spell she knew and she turned on all the lights on her room. It didn't work. She still felt…vulnerable.

Mustering up all her courage, she looked at the envelope. Fear rooted her to the spot when she saw it was addressed to _Miss Hermione Granger_ in handwriting she certainly didn't know. She stuck her finger inside the envelope and ran it along the top, unsealing it. She almost reached in for the letter before catching herself. She quickly checked it for any curses and, even though she found none, she used her wand to lift out the letter and levitate it in front of her eyes. Both the letter and the wand clanged to the floor as she eyes widened with the words she saw.

_**I will take from you what you took for me. An eye for an eye is the only way. Sleep tight, Hermione.**_

oo00OO00oo

_All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea.  
Wishing you'd come back to me.  
And that's all that matters now.  
All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea.  
Holding on to memories.  
And it's hurt me more than you know.  
So much more than it shows.  
All at once._

I looked around and found that you were.  
With another love.  
In someone else's arms.  
And all my dreams were shattered all at once.  
All at once the smile that used to greet me.  
Brightened someone else's day.  
She took your smile away.  
And left me with just memories all at once.

Ever since I met you.  
You're the only love I've known.  
And I can't forget you.  
Though I must face it all alone.

**Whitney Houston- All at once**


	13. Chapter 12

**I know this is a few days later than I thought but something came up at the weekend and I had no time to finish this chapter. This should be that last background chapter, it was meant to be a small introduction to the ministry function mentioned but it somehow ended up one of the longest chapters in a while. I'm not too keen on it, personally, but let me know what you think. Next chapter is when the plot picks up;) Also, just a huge thanks for everyone reviewing, favouriting and following this story, I never expected such a response so thank you!**

**Response to Reviews**

**Ranger: ****Sorry that you aren't enjoying the story but I hope you like it more as it goes on. Thanks for reviewing.**

**Tabitoo:**** Thanks for reviewing. Yes, poor Hermione but things will get better.**

**frog3392:**** I am so sorry I really tried to get one out before Tuesday but I was in school to 7 on Monday and couldn't write a whole chapter so quickly, especially when I had some writer's block. I had most of this ready for Thursday and only needed like an hour but, as I said, something personal came up and I couldn't write until today. You were very patient waiting for the last chapter, so thank you so much.**

**Chavi:**** Thank you so much! That really means a lot as dialogue is something I spend so much time one, trying to work out how a person should say something and if the character would say something in such a way.**

**Chapter 12**

Hermione tapped her foot impatiently on the ground as he stood beside Nate. Her hand was twitching as she waited anxiously for the results. Nate shot her a frustrated look and she quickly became still. Usually appeasing Nate was low on her list of priorities but, right now, she would assist him in any way possible.

Nate sighed and leant back in his chair. She watched as he read the glow of lights swirling above the parchment. To her it looked like nonsense but judging by Nate's annoyed expression it showed something out of the ordinary.

"Well?" She demanded, unable to stand the waiting any longer.

Nate ran his hands through his hair and held his elbow bent in place at his neck.

"Nothing," He deadpanned, "I can't see anything! It's like this is a blank piece of parchment for Merlin's sake. There's no fingerprint, no smudges and no traces of magic to explain that…I've never seen anything like that, Hermione. It's like the person knew exactly how to avoid being noticed…I don't get it."

Hermione nodded, "Oh ok. Well, thanks anyway."

She quirked a lip upward in appreciation but in reality this was the worst news she could receive right now. On top of everything else going on in her life right now this was just unbelievable. Someone had been in her room. The only sanctuary that she had. Had they been there when she was? Were they watching her sleep? Watching her get ready? A chill progressed steadily down her spine and Hermione could not help herself from looking around the empty office. Just to make sure there was no one here now. Did she have a stalker? No, this person seemed much more …intelligent. It was like they knew her, really knew her and not just from observing her.

"You know what this means? Right?" Nate said gently.

"Of course," She admitted reluctantly, "It's a threat…and a serious one."

Nate looked relieved that she had come to the same conclusion as him. She supposed he had been expecting her to say that it was nothing and that they shouldn't be worried. He expected her to dismiss the threat because it was directed at her and to say that she would look after herself. She would love to say that if she was being honest. But she had realised that avoiding the truth…it would only get more people hurt. And, just because the threat was aimed for her, it didn't mean that others wouldn't be hurt. These people were no amateurs. Jonathan and Martin had spent the best part of two years perfecting the protective enchantments that Hermione had placed on her room. They were well researched, cast, evaluated, improved, adjusted and cast again. Merlin knew who may edits have been done to the original enchantment to make them the absolute best that they could possibly be. Jonathan and Martin were trained for that, even before they applied for the department and, in some ways, it was that skill that they were chosen for.

And this person bypassed them all those enchantments like they were a child's. It shouldn't even be possible.

It was this thought that brought her to the conclusion that had been keeping her up all night. The possibility that refused to allow her to sleep.

"Nate," Hermione began gently, "I think…I think they're all related."

"Related to what?"

She met his eyes confidently, "To the murders."

Nate rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably and he placed his elbow on the desk. He closed his eyes tightly and Hermione could hear him taking a deep breath. Hermione felt guilty for mentioning the possibility. It would only cause him more stress. He probably wouldn't even believe her. She had no conclusive proof. Yet, she could feel it. The logical part of her brain argued that she was sleep deprived and overworked and she was just desperate to make some kind of connection. Merlin knew she would never believe this if it was coming from someone else. But still. There was a feeling in her gut that she was right.

Nate looked up,

"What makes you think that?"

For a moment, Hermione could feel nothing but overwhelming affection for the man in front of her. He didn't call her crazy or ignore her theory. He didn't state that it was impossible and that she needed sleep. No, he listened to her. He wasn't saying her believed her. But he wasn't saying he didn't believe her either. Hermione felt silly for doubting him. This was Nate. He was he partner. He was always there for her and would always be, she knew. Not because they had kindred spirits or because they felt like family or anything like that. Nate would always be there for her because he had been the only person she _could_ possibly connect to during their time away. They were _forced_ to rely on each other and to trust each other's judgements. It was relieving for her to see that despite the changes in her life, she did still have Nate on her side.

Hermione crossed her arms and sat lightly on top of the desk opposite Nate's.

"I don't know. You could call it instinct or a feeling," She smirked quickly, "or paranoia."

Nate laughed slightly.

"Yeah, I'd do with the last one, Granger."

Hermione rolled her eyes as Nate chuckled at himself.

"I'll look into it." Nate said finally. "There's not much I can do with this, really, but I can go over the traces of magic at the crime scenes again and see if they match the minimal amounts on this."

Hermione nodded gratefully as she drummed her fingers along the desk beneath her. Her mind wandered to the cases they were looking at. The victims had been killed the same way. The same spell that they had witnessed too many times. To her knowledge, the only people that knew that particular spell were her team or the enemy. They had identified all the bodies of their enemies after the explosion and the numbers added up. So how was it possible? Did someone escape and an innocent victim got caught up in the explosion? It seemed like it was the only viable reason. Or did the person who set off the explosion to begin with somehow know about the spell.

Hermione was leaning towards the second reason. It had never added up. The explosion shouldn't have happened and it was looking like it was intentional more and more. Where they clearing up loose ends now? Was Hermione being targeted because she had been there? But how did the message fit? What did Hermione take from them? Or, the more frightening question, what would they take in return?

"And you're sure you've no idea what they mean?"

Hermione sighed, "Of course not. I'd tell you, wouldn't I?"

"I know, I know…I just…" Nate trailed off at the end.

Hermione understood. He had to make sure..

Hermione heard the sounds of more ministry workers arriving in the distance. After a quick glance at her watch, she realised that it was almost 9am. They had been here since 6am.

"Sorry for waking you." Hermione said suddenly, realising that, with the little they knew, she probably could have let Nate sleep a little longer.

"It's fine." Nate smiled reassuringly, "I probably still got more sleep than you, right?"

Hermione smiled weakly at him.

"So, what are you going to do?"

Hermione rubbed her eyes at the question. She knew immediately what he was referring to and she didn't want to answer it. There were so many thoughts swirling around in her head that she hardly spared a second to what would happen to her now.

"I don't know." She admitted, "Staying at the Leaky is out of the question now but…"

Nate walked up beside her and placed an arm around her shoulders. She leant into the hug. She felt safer immediately, somehow. Nate was great at giving hugs. This position had always reminded her of Harry's way of comforting her. Maybe that was why it always worked. Nate gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze as they pulled away from each other. He smiled understandingly at her and Hermione was grateful that he knew the thoughts going on in her mind without her having to voice them

"You can stay with me, for as long as you want. You know that." He said sincerely.

Hermione grabbed his hand and squeezed it briefly,

"Thank you." She nods, "But I can't do that."

Nate looked stern, "It's no problem, Hermione. Besides, I would feel better knowing that you're safe."

Nate looked up at her embarrassedly and Hermione knew he was not finished. He cracked his knuckles and stared determinately at a spot far away from her as he spoke,

"You know that I hate this kind of thing but…it's weird not seeing you all the time. It's silly but, I guess, I just got used to you always being around," He said bashfully. "I kinda…I just miss being able to see you all at any time."

Hermione could only marvel at his words. They were so honest and reassuring. She felt the same, in some ways, because being around her team was safe. It made her feel a little more in control and the fact of the matter was that they had been the only people she associated with for so long. She almost forgot how to talk to other people.

Hermione linked her arm in Nate's and kissed him platonically on his cheek. It actually made her a little emotional to see how much he had grown up. It also made her a little sad. She could see through his words and see the hidden meaning behind them. He felt lonely. In his own home with his huge family, Nate felt lonely.

Suddenly Hermione felt an overwhelming surge of anger at the world. Nate was silly, fun-loving and immature with a horrifying fear of emotions and commitment. And somehow, in a very unnatural way, he had become a little sadder, a little more serious and a lot more dependent on others. Was there no end? She knew they were different. They were all different from how they had started out.

There were some good changes. Jonathan learned to trust and love again when he found Ally. Jake had learned that perhaps he didn't have to do absolutely everything alone. Beth had found that she didn't have to be some silly, ditsy girl just because her friends had always assumed she was and that she had found people that would accept her completely. Ally had found that she didn't always have to isolate herself but that, even if she didn't have the loudest of personalities, she could still be heard. Even Martin had discovered that he could not take responsibility for everything that had happened.

Hermione knew that some of her group would not change anything, had they to do it again. Some of them found something invaluable in their time away and they would not change the experience for the world. The people that had no ties, or aims or friends before their mission felt like it had been a blessing in disguise. Ally and Jonathan always said that they would never regret their time away simply because it had led them to each other. She knew that Beth and Nate felt the same way, even if they would never admit it to the other. Hermione had always felt that way about the war. Becoming friends with Harry meant that being a part of the war was unavoidable and yet she never regretted that incident with the troll. Because despite the fact that it led to some of the most horrific times of her life, Hermione would never surrender the chance to know her boys because they had shaped the way her life was supposed to go.

She couldn't bring herself to feel that way about the last four years. There was never a point where she thought that the pain would be worth it. No matter how close she was to her team, there were still times when she felt completely alone in the world…when she could see no point in fighting. That never happened during the war because she had her boys. She may have felt miserable and scared and hopeless. But _never_ alone.

And then there were the things that the last four years had taken from her. From them all. They didn't even bear thinking about. Yes, Nate may have become more emotionally mature and Jonathan may have found a way to trust people. But they had been forced to see the last traces of life leaving the horrified eyes of their peers. They had to listen as their partners were tortured. They had to wait behind and cook dinner, making small talk, as their team members were out with their lives in mortal peril.

They had to look at the calendar and know that it was Easter, or Christmas or a birthday and that they couldn't be there. For Hermione, the worst were the anniversaries. The Final Battle. Malfoy Manor. Fred's birthday. It had been agony to recall these painful memories alone. Especially because she knew that these were the days when she needed Ron. The days when he needed her. And she couldn't be there.

So maybe she did miss the security of being surrounded by others all the time. Of Nate always being there to talk to. But she wouldn't, _couldn't_, go back to that. Hermione was confident that she wouldn't have lasted another year living like that.

"I miss you too, Nate." She smiled sadly, "But this is what we always wanted, right? And I've got somewhere else to stay, don't worry about me…Spend time with your family again."

Nate nods but she can tell he's disappointed. Having her around would allow him to go into a shell where he didn't need to communicate with others. Or fix things with his family.

"I just…I never thought it would be so hard." He sighed, "It's like they all expect me to be the same…but I'm not. But then…they look at me like I'm so different. Like I'm a stranger and I just want to scream at them that I am the same still."

Nate laughed humourlessly before elaborating,

"That didn't make any sense. I don't know how to explain it, Hermione."

Hermione interrupted him, "I understand what you mean. I get that too, sometimes. But they are your family, Nate. I know how much the love you. They just need time to…get used to you again."

She really did understand what he was trying to say. She got so frustrated nowadays when people expected her to rattle off facts or immerse herself in a book because she found that it was not something she could do right now. Hannah had nearly died of shock a few weeks ago when she brought up a few books to her room and Hermione had not started them yet. It was like they wanted her to be the same but they couldn't see the parts of her that were. They expect her to act the same and then ignore the few parts of her that remain unchanged. They would act like they didn't know her. Like she was a complete stranger while trying to force her to be the woman from four years ago.

Hermione unwound herself from Nate and quickly cast a spell to put all of the chairs back in place before turning to face her friend again. She mustered all the cheer she could to meet his confused look with a grin,

"So," She teased, "This function, tomorrow night. Asked anyone yet?"

Nate rolled his eyes, obviously catching in quickly to her implication.

"It is a serious, work event. It's hardly a school ball to ask girls to."

"No," Hermione conceded, "But it is still a ball and I know that there is a certain someone that would love you to ask her."

"No, Hermione. Don't go there."

Hermione clicked her tongue, "You can't ever expect anything to happen if you never try, Nate."

"What? Like you've been trying with, Ron?" Nate snapped harshly.

Hermione let out a breath of air as she straightened her skirt nervously to control her temper. Nate didn't mean it. She knew that. Still, she was getting sick of listening to these smart remarks from her team. They knew nothing about her relationship and they knew nothing about how she agonised about the best course of action. Should she leave him to himself or pester him until he listened to her? Neither seemed fair.

"I am so sorry, Hermione." Nate said quickly, sounding disgusted with himself as he buried his face in his hands. "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine." Hermione said stiffly.

"No, it's not."

He was right. It wasn't and they both knew that.

"You're right." Nate continued, "I know that I need to man up and face this. But it's just so hard. I don't know what she's thinking or how she'll react. It might make things really weird between us all. Look at Jonathan and Ally for Merlin's sake. They're a train wreck."

Hermione allowed a small smile to grace her lips at his casual use of the muggle phrase she had taught him.

"But they're happy. When they're not fighting that is."

They both chuckled slightly and some of the tension rolled away from the conversation. Hermione watched as Nate fiddled with his fingers. It showed his insecurities on the matter. Hermione let him suffer for a few more minutes before taking pity on him.

"Listen, Nate." She commanded, waiting until he looked up to begin speaking again. "I _know_ that Beth cares about you. I _know_ that she would be delighted if you asked her to come with you to this function and I _know _that you can make each other happy. But you are going to have to take a chance, right?"

Nate grinned at her no-so-indirect hints and nodded appreciatively at her.

"You know…what I said about Ron. I didn't mean that." Nate said awkwardly, "It's different, obviously."

Hermione jerked her head in a half-hearted attempt at a reply. She didn't want to talk about this with Nate. In so many ways, he knew too much. He was like a dog with a bone when he wanted her to talk about something. It usually ended in an emotional experience or the pair huffing with each other. Then there was also the fact that Nate could read her pretty easily.

Hermione couldn't handle having a heart to heart right now. Merlin knew she would only say something she would regret.

"Don't worry about it." She said. "It's fine, really."

The sounds of people nearing the department caught both their attention as they stared at the door. Hermione could detect Beth's high pitched giggle easily and she was fairly confident she could hear Jake's grumbling from her seat too. Hermione supressed a smile at the familiar sounds. It was surprising how these things that used to irritate her to no end, now comforted her. Maybe because they were not forced in an enclosed space with each other.

Nate still looked doubtful, "Ok, if you're sure. And you know if you need anything, at all, I'm here. Right?"

Hermione nodded as the doors swung back and she could now hear snippets of their conversation. She turned back to her partner and forced him to make eye contact,

"Nate," She implored, "The only thing I want you to do is ask Beth to the party. Don't you think you've left the poor girl waiting long enough?"

Nate scowled immediately but refused to reply as the others joined them. The atmosphere shifted gradually as the rest of the time filed in. They had work to do.

"Hermione," Martin said, "Can I have a word? I think I've found a development."

Relief filled her with his words and she nodded quickly, gesturing to the back room to talk. Before she left she gave Nate one last encouraging smile and inclined her heard towards Beth. Maybe, one day, the poor boy would take the hint.

oo00OO00oo

Hermione looked around briefly as she sat her bag on the dresser to her left. She would have to pack but after the day she had she couldn't face it. Well, she had to. Admittedly there wasn't much to pack. The only things she really had were the few scraps of clothes she had managed to collect over the last few weeks. She had bought bits and pieces in muggle London but she never stayed long enough to build herself up a proper wardrobe again.

When she was in such a crowded place, Hermione felt suffocated. It was a frightening development but she should have been expecting it. It was only logical that after four years in isolation she would find seeing more than ten people excruciating. She should have been prepared for it, really. And Diagon Alley was out of the question. Everyone seemed to know her. Everyone had an opinion of what she's been doing. _Everyone _had questions.

She groaned out loud as she allowed herself to sit down on the bed.

Why was she always so unprepared for everything? She was useless at this. Hermione began threading her hand in an attempt to focus her thoughts but she could. Anxiety ate away at her insides. Was it always going to be this hard? In ten years would she still be facing the repercussions of her decision? Would she be alone again? Nate and Beth and all the others would probably be long gone. It would just be her.

She jumped sharply at a knock at the door.

Cautiously she walked forward, holding her wand out in front of her. Taking a deep breath she peeked through the hole which permitted her to see to the other side. Not that it mattered. The person could be using Polyjuice.

Hermione rolled her eyes at the thought. She _needed_ to stop this paranoia. Before it took over her.

She saw Harry on the other side.

"Hey, Hermione. Can I come in?" He called to her.

She dithered unsurely for a couple of seconds. Every ounce of her wanted to ask him to prove it. So that she could be sure it was him. He would judge her though. He would be able to tell that she was struggling. Hermione really didn't want anyone else to worry.

But she needed to know. This could be anyone. This could be one of _those _men. They could be back again and she could let them in if she wasn't careful.

Reluctantly, Hermione opened the door slowly as watched as he quickly shuffled in.

"Hey, I was just talking to Hannah and she said-" Harry paused, "Hermione, are you ok?"

At the sound of her name, Hermione shook herself. Truth be told, she hadn't been paying that much attention to him. Sure, she heard his words but it was like her brain could not comprehend them. Instead, she found herself watching every movement for anything suspicious. Was it Harry? Yes, she thought so. He was practically her brother for Merlin's sake. She would be able to tell if it was an imposter.

_Maybe not, _a small voice inside her heard whispered to her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." She smiled shakily, "Just…um, you wouldn't mind…you know, proving who you are? Like we used to."

Harry gave her a hard, searching look. She squirmed under his unrelenting gaze. She had become unfamiliar with having someone around who knew absolutely everything about her. Someone who could understand her so easily.

"During the war?" Harry said.

She nodded although she knew that Harry was aware of exactly what she meant. That question seemed to hold some kind of hidden meaning but she was too tightly wound to try and work that out right now.

Harry sighed, "Fine, um, I can't even think of anything…Oh, you stole Skeeter's book on Dumbledore from Godric's Hollow when we were on the hunt."

Hermione nodded as her cheeks flamed shamefully. Harry was watching her intently and she knew that she had shown him a vulnerability. It was so humiliating. She busied herself by stuffing the few remaining possessions she had into a bag.

Harry sat down on the bed, "That's why I'm here actually."

Harry gestured to the bag she was packing and she looked down at it confusedly.

She was about to voice her confusion but Harry interrupted her,

"Are you leaving?" He blurted out.

Hermione hands became still and she stood up straight. The bag dropped to the bed as she ran her hands through her short hair. She knew what Harry was implying. She just didn't know what to say to make this right. How could she? She was changing hotels for God's sake but her best friend thought she was about to disappear again. Could she blame him, though?

Slowly, she lifted her bag again and resumed packing while refusing to meet his eyes.

"Someone, I don't know who, got in here last night." She explained quietly as she finally looked at Harry again, "I just…I'm not leaving, Harry. I need somewhere…more secure, I think. I'm just not comfortable here anymore."

Harry looked at her with concern and she could see the guilt in his face for his assumption.

"Are you ok? You didn't get hurt or anything, did you?" He asked, as he walked over to her and pulled her into a brother embrace.

"I'm fine." She said into his shoulder, "I didn't see the person. I just found a note."

Harry nodded and they pulled away. Hermione immediately missed the feeling of safety and calmness his arms offered. It felt good to be hugged by family for once. She had missed having Harry around. He knew exactly what to do when she was hurting. Probably from too much experience being her shoulder to cry on. He was warm and protective and welcoming.

Harry was eyeing her carefully in a way that only he could.

"What did it say?"

"Nothing that bad…it was just a silly threat thing." She covered quickly.

Her efforts to soften the blow were in vain, it seemed, as at the word "threat", Harry paled suddenly and looked deeply worried. His brow crinkled, forming a small dent as he placed his chin in his hand. Hermione felt immensely guilty.

She tried to reassure him, "Harry, it was a silly note. We used to get them all the time."

"But they got in here." Harry argued, "I know you, Hermione. You probably have a million jinxes and hexes surrounding this bloody room, so how could they have got past that?"

"I don't know," She admitted. "But it's nothing to worry about. We're looking into it."

This seemed to be the wrong thing to say,

"Hermione! You are leaving because of it. The note obviously scared you." Harry said passionately, "And don't say it didn't because you wouldn't be moving otherwise."

Hermione took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. She could feel her pulse rising as she struggled to take in the right amount of air. She forced herself to calm down as she placed her thumb heavily on her wrist to ease her panic. An old trick her mother taught her. She managed to gain control rather quickly and was relieved to see that Harry had been pacing and had not witnessed her weakness.

Picking at the bed cover and averting her eyes, she spoke again,

"Fine, it creeped me out a little, Harry. But, it could still be nothing."

"I know. I know." Harry sighed, calming down and sitting beside her, "I'm just worried about you. Where are you going to stay?"

Hermione smiled at him gratefully for the change of subject,

"Probably a muggle hotel." She answered, "They're less noticeable and no one will recognise me."

"Hermione, if the person could get in here, a muggle hotel is hardly going to keep them out."

Hermione fought down the small amount of dread she felt herself succumb to at the thought and managed to give him a reassuring smile.

"I will be fine, Harry. I can look after myself."

Harry still looked dubious, "Well, why don't you come and stay with us, we have plenty-"

"Harry. No." She said gently, "It's so sweet of you, really, but I can't. I mean, I love you for offering but we both know that wouldn't work out."

Hermione laughed shakily at the end and Harry shot her a wan smile.

"I guess not."

The old friends found themselves enveloped in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Hermione could see that Harry was thinking desperately for a solution. For a way to take her problems away and she found herself enjoying it. It felt so nice to have someone else help her with a decision. It felt like she was protected from the world with Harry sitting here. Like he could shield her from some of the forces that she couldn't seem to outrun.

"Grimmauld Place."

Hermione shook herself at the sound of Harry's voice and the suddenness of the comment as she failed to grasp the meaning of the words.

"What?"

"You can stay at Grimmauld Place." Harry said, "I know it's not ideal and it hasn't been used in a while but at least you know it's safe."

"No, Harry. It's fine." She said doubtfully.

"Hermione," Harry said firmly, "I insist. Please. Anyone could reach a muggle hotel. This way, you _know_ that no one can get in. Even just for a week or so, then you can find somewhere else that would be secure."

Hermione wasn't sure. On one hand, it seemed like a good idea. He had a point. Grimmauld Place was perfectly safe and it was impossible for anyone to get in. But this room should have fallen under the same category with the spells that had been placed on it. Still, no one would actually know that she was staying at Grimmauld Place. However, she didn't want to take advantage of Harry. She didn't want him to feel like he had to help her. Not to mention the memories that would surface if she entered Grimmauld Place. Ones that she had been trying so hard to keep at bay…

Harry placed a hand on her shoulder, "It would make me feel better."

She nodded awkwardly and Harry's face relaxed instantly with relief.

"Ok, you can go over anytime. Same way as always to get in."

She nodded again, "Thank you, Harry."

He squeezed her shoulder and stood up. He looked like he was about to leave before he turned to face her again. He looked oddly sheepish and Hermione supressed a small smile.

"Um, could I have a look at the, er…note that you got?"

Hermione froze as she felt an unnatural chill run down her back. No. She didn't want Harry to get involved. What would be the point of everything she had done in the name of keeping him safe if he became involved now? No. She couldn't let him get caught up in this. Because no matter what anyone else thought, Hermione knew that the note was from the murderer they were tracking.

"Harry," She said hesitantly, "It's not necessary, really. Nate's looking into it and he thinks he's getting somewhere so-"

Harry cut her off, "Hermione, I'm an auror. I have resources to look into these things. Please. You can't tell me that and expect me to forget about it. I want to find out who this bastard is. This is serious, he was threatening you."

Hermione's hand found the invisible chain around her neck as she fingered it anxiously. She couldn't let this happen. But she couldn't push Harry away. Not now.

She inhaled sharply, "Fine. You can call into my department and have a look. Ask for Nate Henderson. He'll have it."

Harry looked a little peeved that she wasn't going to give him the letter for his own investigation but he nodded nonetheless. Probably deciding that this wasn't something worth arguing over.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but a knock at the door drowned out his voice. This knock couldn't have been more different from Harry's. They rapped the door three times in quick succession and when that didn't get a quick enough response, they did the same again. Their impatience and urgency startled Hermione as she tried to think of who it could be.

"Hermione!" The voice called and Hermione rolled her eyes immediately.

Beth. She should have known.

Reluctantly, Hermione moved over to the door and answered it. Beth crashed into the room roughly and quickly plonked herself on the shaky chair beside the old dresser.

"You will never guess what just happened, I was…"

Beth trailed off as she noticed Harry.

"Hi," Harry said, moving forward and shaking her hand. "I'm Harry. Nice to meet you."

Beth watched him carefully as she shook his hand,

"Beth Dawson," She smiled sweetly, "And I recognise you. You're one of the guys that I tackled to the ground a few days ago."

Harry cracked a smile and Hermione marvelled at his ability to adapt to this light conversation from the rather heavy one they just had.

"Yes, well, all is forgiven." He laughed. "But I should be going. It sounds like you two have something interesting to talk about anyway."

"Yes, yes we do." Beth beamed.

Hermione watched her friend curiously as she wondered what had gotten her in such a chipper mood. Merlin knew she hadn't looked this cheerful at work all day.

"Thanks, Harry." Hermione smiled sincerely as he opened the door.

Harry nodded, "You're welcome, and you know that. Go over anytime. I'll call to your office tomorrow."

The pair shared a significant look before Harry made a quick exit. Hermione forced a smile as she looked back towards Beth who was now practically bouncing in her seat.

"Ok, what happened?"

"Nate!" Beth burst out excitedly, "Hermione, he asked me out. He _finally_ asked me out. It's only to this silly ministry thingy but still…he asked me out!"

Hermione couldn't contain her laughter. Something about her very hyper friend finally getting what she wanted made the girl turn into a thirteen year old. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so giddy and especially over something so frivolous. Hermione listened patiently, and with amusement, as Beth recounted the exact tale of Nate finally plucking up the courage in a way Beth described as "the most romantic thing since Merlin himself". Hermione couldn't help but feel proud of her partner for having the courage to go after what he wanted. Maybe they weren't all so hopeless after all.

_**I lay alone awake at night**_

_**Sorrow fills my eyes**_

_**But I'm not strong enough to cry**_

_**Despite of my disguise**_

_**I'm left with no shoulder**_

_**But everyone wants to lean on me**_

_**I guess I'm their soldier**_

_**Well, who's gonna be mine?**_

_**Who's there to save the hero**_

_**When she's left all alone?**_

_**And she's crying out for help**_

_**I bottle all my hurt inside**_

_**I guess I'm living a lie**_

_**Inside my mind each day I die**_

_**What can bring me back to life?**_

_**A simple word, a gesture**_

_**Someone to say you're beautiful**_

_**I've given too much of myself**_

_**And now it's driving me crazy**_

_**(I'm crying out for help)**_

_**Sometimes I wish someone would just come here**_

_**And save me, save me from myself**_

_**Beyoncé- Save the Hero**_


	14. Chapter 13

**So I have been working very hard to get this chapter done. It was one of the first things that I had planned for the story and I really hope you like it. It's summer now so I should be able to keep to once a week for updating. I nervous about how this turned out so let me know what you think.**

**Responses to Reviews:**

**Chavi- ****Thank you so much for your review, it really made my day. I am so happy that you like the story, especially the internal monologues and dialogues. It's really such a compliment, so thank you. Yes, I feel the same about Ron and I am so glad you think I write them well. And of course I will acknowledge any review, especially one so nice. Thank you.**

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**Guest- ****Thank you so much, I'm so happy that you are enjoying reading it**

Chapter 13

Hermione watched in mild shock as Nate dragged Beth onto the dance floor for what had to be the tenth time that night. Beth went willingly and threw a beaming look over her shoulder at the table. Hermione chuckled softly at their pair. Their innocence was pretty endearing right now and she was so pleased that they seemed to have transformed into a pair so easily.

She heard Jonathan laugh beside her too,

"I swear those two are not wise. Merlin help us all, now that they're together."

Jake looked up with a disgusted look on his face, "Yeah, it was bad enough dealing with you and Ally. These two are even more sickening."

Hermione threw a reprimanding look at Jake for mentioning Ally. Poor Jonathan nearly cracked his neck as he craned around to ensure that Ally wasn't near. Hermione watched his face fill with relief when he noticed she hadn't arrived yet. He was probably terrified of another awkward moment between them.

"Cut it out," Jonathan said sharply to Jake, "will you? I could do without your comments, on that, right now."

Jake looked indignant and rather ticked off but, for once, Jonathan didn't seem to care what Jake thought. Hermione took a quick sip of her drink for something to do. The tension between the pair had been getting worse since Jonathan and Ally broke up and Hermione would give anything to be at another table away from them right now. Jake was secretly, or not so secretly, fuming at Jonathan for his treatment of Ally which was to be expected since Ally was his partner. And Jake's way of venting his anger seemed to be by riling Jonathan up with snarky comments at every possible opportunity.

Hermione looked around in an effort to tune out the pair of them. She glanced around the large ballroom that the event was being held in. She had to admit that the room looked absolutely amazing. There were hundreds of circular tables set up, covered in a mesmerising golden table cloth that seemed to shimmer even under the dim lights. Red drapes hung haphazardly from the ceiling creating a more relaxed and homely vibe while a large Christmas tree was set up in the middle of the dance floor, its lights glowing yet held up by, seemingly, nothing. The dancers spun gracefully around the tree while waiters in dress robes walked around taking orders from the guests at the tables. The function was to celebrate another year of work at the ministry. Probably an equivalent to the muggle staff "do" at Christmas time. Every person, from every department of the ministry was here along with their spouses. That was something that was certainly making Hermione uneasy. She had seen Harry, Ron and Ginny enter earlier and it was extremely awkward. Harry had tried to be polite by smiling and waving at her, Ginny had looked thunderous and Ron had just ignored her. Not a great start to the evening. Harry and Ginny had soon joined the throngs of people dancing while Ron had disappeared to the bar with his fellow aurors.

Thudding disrupted her thoughts and Hermione jumped slightly, only to find Martin looking at her expectantly,

"Have you thought anymore about what I told you earlier?"

He eased himself into the seat beside her as he finished speaking. He looked nervous and slightly tense, glancing around every so often as if someone was following him. Hermione couldn't blame him. The news that he delivered earlier had certainly set her on edge too.

Ellie Mathewson's neighbour had come in to be interviewed and Hermione had just been informed of her claims. Allegedly the woman had seen the murderer entering Ellie's house when she had been closing the curtains of her bedroom for the night. By the woman's own admission, she was incredibly _interested_ in the affairs of her neighbours and had assumed that the mystery man was Ellie's secret lover or some nonsense like that. Hermione would have dismissed the interview and the trivial nature of it had it not been for the description of the man. From the woman's memory, the man was identical to Dominic Mason, who had been killed with the same spell only a day later.

It was unsettling news and it meant that there was so much more going on than they could anticipate. It was never-ending.

"Yes, I have actually." Hermione said seriously, "I think that the best way to deal with this is to look into the spell a lot more. You know, if it can be tracked, what traces it leaves – that kind of thing. You and Jonathan can do that, since we now have bodies that could be investigated. We also need to look into Mason's past and see how he got involved. Maybe there is some kind of way to detect what kind of people they are."

Martin nodded, "That sounds good. Sorry for bringing this up now, I just…haven't been able to – I can't settle until something gets done."

"I understand," Hermione said with empathy, "I'm sure we've all felt the same at some point. I was thinking too that since Ellie was killed for, presumably, her involvement in our department we should try and set up protection for the other board members. Just in case."

"Good plan, Granger." Martin smiled, "I'll ask about aurors tomorrow. Or maybe spells around their houses?"

"Whatever you think is best, it's your area."

The two were silent and Hermione found herself studying her dress for something to do. It was very plain and simple, a long black dress that reached her ankles, and had a split up to her mid-thigh. Her short hair now reached to just under her ears and was slightly curled and tousled. It wasn't a very elaborate look but it was the best she could do in such short notice.

In all honesty she was bored and restless. She selfishly wished that Nate and Beth were around to keep her company and have some fun with, even though she knew it was better for them to be alone right now. She didn't want to be here. She would rather be at the office trying to work out something from the latest developments but attendance was compulsory for her. Kingsley had wanted to introduce her, and the others, to a few important people and explain their work. She wouldn't have minded half as much if there hadn't been a major lead to investigate.

Now she was just sitting at a table with Jonathan, Jake and Martin. Martin would leave soon enough to find his wife while Jake and Jonathan would continue to snipe at each other. Whatever Jake was going through at home had made him even grouchier and she was sure that he didn't want to talk with any of them right now. He certainly didn't want to be here anyway. But, then again, neither did she, so Hermione couldn't exactly blame him. Jonathan was sulky, as he had been for a while, and wouldn't be much good for company tonight. Ally hadn't even approached them. No one had seen her all evening.

"I'm going to look for Ally." Jonathan said suddenly, as if reading her thoughts. He stood up abruptly and the other three could only watch as he disappeared in the crowd.

"About time." Martin laughed.

Jake rolled his eyes, "Yes, how I hate it when mummy and daddy fight."

Hermione threw him a reproachful look but couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her mouth.

"You're terrible." She informed him shortly.

Jake only raised his glass sardonically in response. Following his cue, Hermione took a large drink from the Firewhiskey in front of her. Yes, it was going to be a long night.

oo00OO00oo

She should leave. She should walk away and forget that she had seen him. She really should pretend that she had somewhere else to be. God, she wished she had somewhere else to be. But she was like a deprived animal and he was the waterhole she had been searching for. Her feet pushed her forward. They walked her, of their own accord, to the seat beside him as her dress swished melodically behind her. Her brain was coming up with one thousand and one reasons per minute why this was an awful idea. They had both been drinking. There was so much unsaid between them. There were so many people around who would watch their every move. Yet she couldn't step back. She couldn't stop herself. She was drawn inexplicably to him. Maybe some things never really change.

She slid herself slowly onto the stool beside him, carefully manoeuvring her body so that no unwanted flashes of flesh would be seen. Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione could see Ron glance at her. He registered her presence with reluctance. But it was like he had accepted that she would be here.

She supressed a smirk when she realised it was probably the least hostile reaction she had received from Ron yet. Maybe that wasn't a completely terrible idea. However, as she watched Ron take an unnecessary large swig of the Firewhiskey in his hand, Hermione was reminded of the rocky ground between them.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione nodded to the waiter to get his attention.

"Can I get you something, miss?"

Hermione decided to through caution to the wind. If she was going to do this then she would certainly need some courage. Preferably, of the Dutch nature.

"Yes, a double Firewhiskey. Thank you."

The waiter hustled around quickly. He looked a little unsure of himself and Hermione wondered if he was new. Then again, he could have ten years' experience and was nervous because he knew _exactly _who the pair sitting in front of him was. This theory was further supported when she noticed the man throw several untrusting looks in their direction.

As the glass was placed in front of her, Hermione took a quick sip as she relished the feeling of release it offered. It felt good to be careless. Unfortunately she couldn't exactly feel relaxed when she could see Ron noting her every move in her peripheral vision.

"You could never hack a mouthful, never mind a double." Ron commented accusingly.

Hermione didn't know what to say. He was right. She used to hate drinking, even the thought of it. She supposed seeing her father get lost in alcohol one too many times had put her off the entire thing for years. Her father had drunk himself silly too many times, in her presence, for Hermione to ever consider alcohol a good thing. He had tried, of course, to make amends. He joined AA and done everything that he could to fight whatever self-imposed feelings of longings he had. It worked, mostly. But the damage had been done and her family had never completely recovered. She closed her eyes in defeat as she realised that he had probably fallen off the wagon again. Because of her. The thought was enough to make her want more of the drink in her hand.

The irony of the situation wasn't lost on her though.

She sighed, "I suppose it helps. In a way, it makes it all easier."

"Yeah, it does."

The three words made her feel like a jagged knife had been jammed into the depths of her soul. Not Ron too. Was she so toxic that she drove herself and all around her to this? To the demon that she had hated since she was a five year old child that had been sent to her friend's when a beer too many had left her father in hospital. Her eyes watered slightly and she blinked away the traitorous tears as quickly as she could without arousing suspicion. Perhaps it had been a mistake. Perhaps she ought not to attempt to make amends. Maybe the simple matter is that she couldn't, regardless of how much she longed to, make up for what her absence had done.

Ron used to be carefree and cheerfully. Funny and playful. Happy and content. Not the type of man who sits at a bar alone when most of his friends have already cleared off home for the evening with their significant others. Yet here he was. Alone and considerably drunk. For all his teasing of her light-weightiness in the alcohol department, Ron had never exactly been a regular. He had taken a few drinks when out with the boys or they would take a few to celebrate or to relax. But never like this.

They were both drinking to forget. Yet, their lives were so closely interwoven and connected that the task of unwinding them was practically impossible. How did you forget someone who had always taken up your every thought? How did you forget someone that you wanted? That you missed. How could you ever forget someone when all you really wanted was to remember? She wanted to remember everything. The way they felt. The way they loved. The way that they could _understand _each other. She wanted to remember the version of herself that she could be around him.

A silence formed between them like an unyielding wall. Hermione tapped her glass lightly and focused on the steady and constant rhythm she could hear. The sound was soothing to her. It grounded her. She watched as the few people remaining swayed on the dance floor, specifically Beth and Nate. She envied the feeling of losing all inhibitions that she could see they felt. She tore her gaze away, eager to look somewhere which she could not see such blatant love and adoration. Waiters were clearing up, lifting glasses and sweeping the floor. She startled slightly as the man who had served her earlier dropped a glass. It made a crashing sound as it stumbled to them ground. No one else seemed to hear it over the thud of the music playing. She watched with a critical eye as the young man coyly covered the shards of glass with a napkin and walked away. She should probably tell him to clean it properly. That it was dangerous and unsafe to cover it up and ignore the broken objects. But she simply bit her tongue and ignored it. She felt oddly sympathetic to the man. Maybe he just didn't want to deal with it right now. Maybe he had a reason for delaying the inevitable and he was going to come back with a solution later? Who was she to judge him?

She turned when she felt his eyes on her. When she looked at him, Ron seemed to be unapologetic. He was fixing her with a penetrating look. She felt like he could read all her thoughts in that moment. She hadn't felt so bare and exposed under his watchful eye.

"People watching?" Ron asked her gruffly but she noticed the slight softness in his eyes.

Hermione allowed herself a reminiscent smile as Ron's lips quirked in return. Ron used to entertain himself by watching the muggles in their favourite café. At the start of their relationship, he had barely been around any muggles and any chance to watch and make observations had been fascinating for him. He had been quite shocked to learn that many muggles done the same thing. It had become kind of their thing. A way to pass the afternoon in a relaxing way. Sometimes Ron would even entertain her with stories of his observations and what he perceived them to be.

"Yes, or just being nosey."

Ron twisted slightly in his seat so that he was in a position to converse with her. A small smile lingered on her face as Hermione placed her head on her hand and looked at him. She could feel herself relaxing almost immediately as she looked at his familiar yet different face. His azure eyes were looking at her intently and, perhaps due to the alcohol, she could not detect any anger or hate in them. Just wistfulness. The music surrounding them slowed down slightly as it seemed to fade away from their ears. For once being in this proximity to someone, who was watching her so attentively, didn't bother Hermione. It felt normal, right even. And for the first time since she had come home, Hermione felt so grateful that she had made it out. This moment was exactly what she had fought for. When she was scared and lost, when all she wanted in the world was to just be able to give up because she was ever so weary, this was the only thing that kept her pushing. The possibility of more moments like this allowed her to think that _maybe_ it would all be worth it. One day. She felt relaxed in his presence. This was serene and welcoming and _everything_ that she had ever wanted.

The moment was broken by Ron's voice, yet the feeling it brought lingered on inside Hermione.

"Why can't it be like this all of the bloody time?" Ron said in a frustrated voice, "Why does it always have to be so hard?"

Hermione wasn't sure what he wanted from her. He was showing vulnerability, more so than he had since she had left four years ago. He was opening up, slightly, and letting her in. Oh how she wanted to dive in without thinking. But did he mean it? Could she handle being rejected again? She knew that it was her responsibility to fight, to push forward and demand that they try. But she was so battle worn nowadays that she just didn't have it in her anymore. She wanted to. More than anything. But did she actually have any strength left?

"I don't know," She said gently, "It's all gotten so complicated, hasn't it?"

Ron nodded in agreement as he took another generous chug from his glass. She could see his eyes drift ever so slightly away with each passing drink yet she knew that hers looked the same. The alcohol was creating a haze that was both happy and sad. Optimistic and depressing. Hopeful and hopeless. It made her feel so in tune with Ron. Like they could do this. She could feel herself just _let go_ and relax. Slowly, she was allowing her fears, restraints and suspicions to fall away until it was just _them_. They could always work when it was just them. Left to their own devices, the pair was unbeatable. They could be everything that the other needed without even trying. It was when those chasing caught up with them that they fell apart. And when the fell, they crashed. It was never simple with them. Hermione used to love that they were a roller-coaster. That they would never be cliché or boring. After all, she had always been a believer in the journey being more important. But there were times, times when all she wanted was for it to be smooth for them. Like now. Right now, she would have given everything to be at the stage that Harry and Ginny were – with no complications.

"I miss us," Hermione breathed softly, "I miss that we used to go people watching, I miss that we used to _really _laugh together…and cry together. I miss how we loved each other. We used to drive each other absolutely crazy,"

She laughed shakily,

"But in a good way. We were just so…_happy."_

Her face took on a wishful look at the end of her musings. Her murmured words of longing were the most honest thing she had expressed in, what felt like, forever. Here, in the dim light of the Ministry's ballroom, Hermione found herself losing all sense of what she should, or should not, give away. She just wanted him to know that she was not the cold, heartless bitch who abandoned him that Ron thought she was. She was so tired of holding her cards close to her chest because she was scared to play. But now, she just didn't have the will to remain aloof. Suddenly, Hermione couldn't remember if she had actually told Ron that she missed him once. And he needed to know. Even if he rejected her and didn't want her anymore, he needed to know that he had kept her going. Imagine, after longing for him so much that she felt like a part of herself was missing she couldn't even find the right time to tell Ron that he was everything. She had spent every day praying to be reunited, even for ten minutes, just so he would know how much he meant to her. And when she had finally gotten home, the simple need to make him aware of her feelings had disappeared in her haste to try and make him understand her decisions. Her emotions were brought to the surface and spilling over due to the Firewhiskey and she just couldn't wait any longer,

"I miss _you_." The sweet sincerity in her voice was unmistakable.

Ron looked at her, really looked at her, for the first time in months and, perhaps it was the Firewhiskey, but Hermione could have sworn that she saw some of that yearning in his eyes too. She was just so sick of pretending. Maybe Nate was right, maybe she needed to show Ron that she really did love him. She had taken for granted that he had known. How could he know though? She had left him.

Ron was staring straight ahead with an unflinching gaze now and Hermione was sure that this was the end of their conversation. She had revealed too much and he had closed himself off. To protect himself, from her. The thought cut her but she tried not to show her hurt. Ron didn't like to talk about his feelings at the best of times and she had gotten more than she expected out of him tonight.

oo00OO00oo

He tried to fight it. He tried to fight it with everything that he had left inside him because he didn't want to make this easy for her. For once, he wanted Hermione to be the one that suffered, to be the one that had to accept that she screwed up and that there was no quick fix for what she had done. But his defences were down. She had disarmed them with her simple and sincere words in only a couple of seconds. Maybe they weren't all that strong to begin with. Not against her anyway. But he was so bitter. It was so hard to forget his pain and that she was the cause of it. But he was so close to just giving in. Just for tonight, could they pretend that nothing happened? Could they act like they used to, even just for a while?

Her words kept repeating in his head and he hated himself for feeling so…relieved that she even thought of him. It wasn't to say that he believed her when she said that she had reasons for her choice but, at the same time, he just couldn't bring himself to doubt her right now. And he definitely didn't want to.

He turned back to her. She was staring into the bottom of an empty glass and obviously wishing that it wasn't empty. He knew that feeling pretty well. She looked so drained. Her shoulders were dropped like the fatigue was actually weighing her down. His instinct to look after her and to protect her came rushing back to him and he longed to just be able to comfort her. To take away all of her pain. Right now, when he was really seeing her, Ron could see that the years had not been kind. Sure, she looked as pretty as ever but there was a dark aura surrounding her that screamed to him that she was, somehow…broken. At the image, his brain automatically thought of Harry's revelation from earlier. That she was being watched. Tracked. Threatened. His fury at the matter came rushing back and he just didn't know who he was angry at. It was so confusing. One second, he couldn't stand her and what she had done and the next; he just wanted to feel her presence again. And now she was in danger. It was damn hard to remain furious at her when he was so concerned with her safety.

And he absolutely despised that. It just wasn't fair.

Ron cleared his throat, "I miss all of our little adventures."

Hermione looked up at him in happy surprise and he forced himself to offer her a tiny smile. He knew that he shouldn't be doing this. He knew that this would lead to a few different outcomes and none of them were good right now. He knew that a trip down memory lane was hardly what they needed and if he was going to talk to her at all it should really be about the matters at hand. Like her absence. Or the threat. Or their drinking. But her eyes looked warm, all of a sudden, and he just couldn't remember the reasons to fight this. He couldn't focus on anything other than the woman in front of him and it actually felt good to just let go of his resentment. Sure, it wasn't like he was actually letting go of it but the Firewhiskey was surely helping him to forget it, at least.

"Like that trip we went on," He continued, "Do you remember that?"

She nodded as a smile tugged at her lips, "Of course. Camping with Harry, Ginny, George and Angie."

"Well, if by camping you mean a luxury cabin in the woods, then yes. It was pretty different to the camping we done during the hunt." Ron snorted at the comparison. "At least we had decent food in the cabin."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him, "Yes, well, it would be pretty hard for any of us to mess up takeaway."

"I don't know," Ron teased, "I'd say you'd have given it a try."

Hermione lightly shoved his arm with her hand in a huffing nature. Ron let out a barking laugh. It was silly and immature what they were doing, and he knew it. But for now it was enough to just let go and laugh. No one else could make him laugh like she could and he knew that she felt the same.

Hermione giggled suddenly and as the sound washed over his eyes it seemed to block out everything else,

"Do you remember George trying to prank Harry when he was in the shower?" She chuckled, "He got quite a surprise when he found his sister there too."

"Priceless." Ron grinned.

"God, that seems so long ago now." Hermione said, shaking her head.

Ron's smile faded at her words as reality began to force its way back into his thoughts, what was he doing?

"Yeah, about five years now." He answered, almost coldly.

Hermione opened her mouth and closed it again. He watched as her cheerfulness seemed to dissipate too and he felt a small smidge of guilt for bringing back such a frosty atmosphere. But who were they kidding? The people on that trip were strangers. He barely remembered himself in that time. It had been in the days after that trip that Ron had gone to Diagon Alley and bought her ring. And now look at them. Two people, who were both, tittering on the edge of being alcoholics that were trying their damn best to forget everything between them.

All Ron wanted to do now was to be able to go back and warn his past self of what was to come. To warn him of how, in a few months, he would wake up alone and panic. How he would go to work and ask for her. How he would find her office early. How he would have to explain to her parents why he hadn't noticed her slipping out in the night. How he would have to fight tooth and nail for anyone to even look into the disappearance. How he would grieve for someone who wasn't dead. How he would be isolated from his family. How he would pray every second of every day for a return that wasn't coming. How the only comfort came from the bottom of a bottle.

"I'm sorry." She murmured softly, as if reading his thoughts.

Ron drained half of the fresh glass sitting in front of him,

"Never mind. It won't change anything now, will it?" He said plainly.

Hermione brought her hand up to neck and appeared to rub the base of it, "No, I suppose not."

They were silent again. The jovial mood from a few moments ago long past and Ron just couldn't decide if he was relieved or disappointed with the bleak and biting atmosphere that had taken its place. It was certainly safer. When they were talking, she was just Hermione. Not the old Hermione or the new Hermione. Or the woman who had broken his heart. When it was just them, getting along, things seemed simpler than they were. If there was anything that Ron learned it was that things with Hermione were never as simple as they seemed.

A pop announced the arrival of someone else and Ron looked up curiously, apparating shouldn't have been possible inside the room. The mystery was solved when he spotted an elf behind the bar trying to get the attention of the barman who had been serving them all night.

"Mister," The elf croaked, "Tissy's shift is finished now, sir."

The barman replied quickly, "Sure, sure. Head on home. I'll finish up in here."

Ron noticed that Hermione had been watching the exchange too and she now had a curious, yet confused, look on her face. Like she had no idea what had just happened. It dawned on Ron suddenly that she was clueless about the elves. How couldn't she be?

He was saved from making the decision of whether to reveal the news or let someone else do it when she spoke,

"Shifts? What was that about?"

Ron's heart broke a little at having to explain this to her.

"After you…left." She said roughly, "Your reforms went ahead, under your department, to the Wizengamot. They were passed, mostly. The elves aren't free but they have rights, like you wanted. They work in shifts and can have homes, they get paid but if some refuse to take it then the money goes to a charity or something. So that the ones who do want paid aren't disadvantaged when they go for jobs. There are inspections too, in houses. Like you planned."

Explaining this made him inexplicably angry at her. He remembered hearing that her work had been passed. It seemed like a comfort at the time, when he thought she was dead or kidnapped, that she had made a difference and that the thing she had wanted to achieve since she was fourteen had happened. Yet now, all Ron could think about was that it should have been something they celebrated together as a couple. Hermione should have presented her work to the Wizengamot and then come home. They would have gone out to dinner, got dressed up and toasted to the elves. He would have boasted to their friends and family about her achievement and she would have acted bashful while secretly loving his pride in her. But that hadn't happened. Not at all.

"I can't believe it," Hermione said, "I hadn't even thought…I – Merlin, it really happened."

Unwillingly, Ron found himself endeared by her reaction to the news. Hermione was still in there somewhere, caring and fighting for house elf rights. As long as she still believed in that particular cause, Ron knew that his Hermione was still there.

"I guess S.P.E.W. really happened after all." Hermione smiled to herself.

Ron couldn't help but smile back.

"You always knew Spew would change the world, right?" Ron chortled.

Hermione eyed him seriously for a moment and he was caught but the thought behind the look. She seemed to be considering something very carefully for a moment.

"It certainly changed a lot of things."

Ron looked up quickly in shock at her bold comment. He could see the faint blush in her cheeks and his suspicions of what she was referring to were confirmed. Yes, Spew had certainly changed their entire relationship. He expected himself to be angry at her for bringing up the subject, however coyly, yet all he could feel was nostalgia and longing.

Swallowing loudly, Ron leaned forwards. Bringing them closer together,

"You kissed me because of Spew."

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he could see surprise register in her eyes too. No, no, no. What was he doing? He should try and take them back. He should leave. He should certainly be putting more distance between their faces rather than moving closer to her. But he couldn't help it. He had lost track of how many drinks he had now and, honestly, this was just something that he wanted. He was sick of fighting this for now. Just for tonight, they could pretend that the last four years never happened. Right?

Hermione's eyes met his own bravely and he was drawn into the chocolate depths of them.

"Yes. Yes, I did." She whispered gingerly as her own head tilted towards him ever so delicately.

Before he could stop himself, before he could think about what he was doing, before he could back out Ron reached out and cupped her face tenderly. He let his bitterness, anger and hurt wash away when he touched her and all he could think about were the times when he prayed just to be able to do this one more time. He ran his thumb along her cheek and just took her in. She was thinner now, with her cheekbones much more prominent than they had ever been. Her short hair accentuated her weight-loss. Small frown lines had formed along her forehead and he posture was rigid and defensive. Her eyes looked happy and content now but they could not completely mask, not to him, the hurt and hauntings they carried behind the façade.

He brought her face towards his gradually and he felt her arms slide cautiously up along his torso before coming to rest comfortably around his neck. He felt her fingers automatically play with the short hairs on the nape of his neck. He closed his eyes and smiled as he relished the feeling. It was always his favourite feeling in the world when she done that. It was soothing and comforting and home.

For that reason, he couldn't hold back anymore. He closed the gap between them effortlessly as her lips captured his. Love. Worry. Frustration. Confusion. Relief. They were all caught in the kiss as they poured every ounce of emotion they had into the kiss.

He couldn't tell who had actually initiated the kiss but, honestly, he just didn't care. This felt right. His hand moved instinctively to the small of her back as hers crawled slowly up to run through his hair. The kiss was full of longing and need. It was slow and deep yet passionate and charged. The kiss deepened again and Ron found himself standing now tilting his head up to meet her now while her leg curled slightly around his.

They broke away shortly later. Much too soon. Their foreheads resting on each other, Ron looked up at her, asking her with his eyes. Conveying to her his need wordlessly.

"Are you sure?" She uttered, barely above a whisper, as she ran a hand through his hair.

No, he wasn't sure. No, this was an awful idea. No, this could ruin everything again. But right now, he just didn't care. He had missed her, plain and simple and why shouldn't they do this?

He nodded surely and, before he could even think about doubting his decision, he led her to the apparation point. They shared one last look of longing before they turned on the spot together. Just for tonight, they could get lost in each other and not worry about what tomorrow would bring. Through his rose-tinted glasses that looked like the best idea he'd had in years.

oo00OO00oo

The men approached the figure on the ground silently; they advanced on their prey like animals and took an untold satisfaction in the fear in the woman's eyes. Unable to move any part of her part of her body but completely conscious, her eyes screamed out for help. The undeniable terror in them was hard to ignore yet the men found it gratifying. The woman's eye's followed their every move. Taking in and storing information even in this time of peril.

Her black dress was torn in the struggle and she longed to be able to adjust it. To try and preserve some semblance of her dignity, in the face of this latest turn of events. Her heart was beating erratically and she could barely breathe yet she knew that it didn't appear that way. A small part of her was grateful for her temporary paralysis just for the fact that they couldn't see her show weakness. She couldn't cry in front of them. That, at least, was a comfort.

She strained her ears to hear their whispered conversation and almost wished she hadn't.

"-thought that lover boy was never going to leave. Bloody hell, he really stuck around."

The man beside him, with a dark grey beard, barked a laugh.

"Poor boy. Lovesick fool. Didn't even catch on though, did he?"

The first man was taller and leaner, he had blondish hair but his eyes were a horrifyingly pale blue. They remained on her throughout the entire conversation,

"What could you expect from one of them though? Not the brightest of bunches, are they?"

The men shared a comradely laugh and she wanted to scream. How dare they? How dare they act like pub buddies when they were kidnapping her? How dare they sit there and insult him when she couldn't move? How dare they place her in this position?

"We better head back, mate." The bearded one said, "Don't want to end up like Mason, eh? Can't afford to mess up his plans."

The men walked towards her. The tall one leered down at her as he grabbed her in a place that was much too low to be considered her back, as the other one grabbed her arms and pulled her upwards. It was painful, the way they were carrying her and she wanted to cry out. Yet she knew there would probably be much worse to come.

"We all know the reasons for that, though." The tall one continued, as if their conversation hadn't stopped, "It was hardly because Mason wasn't on time."

The one holding her arms turned and threw a furious look at his partner. He looked very annoyed and she could immediately tell why,

"You ought to keep your big mouth shut, in _present_ company," He growled, "Unless you want to go the exact same way."

His accomplice looked fearful for half a second before he resumed his cocky demeanour. She could tell, though, that the man's words had gotten to him. Who was this man scared off? She forced herself to remember the exact words of the conversation and store it away for later, including her question.

They made light work of tying her hands together. She tried to kick. She tried to scream. She tried to fight. Hell, she even tried to cry. But she couldn't. She couldn't do absolutely anything. And it was terrifying.

Utter panic and hopelessness filled her. She couldn't do anything. She was completely powerless and in their control. The thought petrified her in itself never mind whatever spell they cast. This was her absolute worst nightmare, it always had been. To be wholly defenceless and at _their _mercy. She knew it was them. Again. It had to be.

They spun on their spot and she wanted to cry out. No. No. No. Now they were gone. Away from her home, the only possible place that anyone would look for her. Darkness surrounded them and all she could feel was a cold that left her chilled to the very bone. Why her? Why now? She had thought this was finished. She thought she was finally free from the restraints of the last four years. She was starting again. She had been doing so well; she had begun putting it all behind her. Sometimes she even got some sleep. But that peace was gone now and she was once again thrust into a world of death and darkness that she was horribly unprepared for.

And she thought of him. How, even in the times of greatest darkness he could be her light. He could be the one to save her and keep her going. Despair flowed over her as she thought of how she would never see him again. And the way things had been left between them…did he even know? Did he actually know that he still loved him, even after everything?

Her last thought, as her world submerged into nothingness, was that there was no way for her to escape this time.

_**I shouldn't say it, but I'm starting to think I care**_

_**I've had a drink, you probably think my judgement is impaired**_

_**And it's getting late now, we're a long way from our homes**_

_**Before you leave, before you grieve, there's one thing you should know**_

_**When you hold me, when you hold me in your arms**_

_**Oh when you hold me, yeah I can feel your heart**_

_**When you hold me, when you hold me in your arms**_

_**Oh when you hold me, yeah I can feel your heart beating**_

_**Suddenly I'm standing on a treetop up so high**_

_**And all the songs, and all the poems, suddenly they're right**_

_**And I'm dumbfounded by the breadth of your self control**_

_**But I don't care 'cause you're here, and you and I both know**_

_**When you hold me, when you hold me in your arms**_

_**Oh when you hold me, yeah I'm picking out the stars**_

_**When you hold me, when you hold me in your arms**_

_** Oh when you hold me, yeah I can feel your heart beating **_

_**Tom Odell, Hold Me**_


	15. Chapter 14

**Look at all these weekly update! Must be very shocking for all haha. Sunday/Monday is going to be the day when I update and I will try and stick to that over the summer. But I am going on holiday next week, with no wifi, so I will try and get the next chapter up before I leave on Saturday. **

**I don't really like this chapter and I struggled to write it. I planned on much more happening here but the first scene ended up much longer than I thought and I couldn't fit in all my initial ideas. Hopefully, you all like it though but if not, criticism is welcomed:)**

**Responses to Unsigned Reviews:**

**Guest:**** Thank you so much, I really enjoyed writing that chapter but I was nervous about putting it up. I'm so glad you liked it.**

**Jo:**** Thank you, I hope you liked it. I didn't leave the cliff-hanger too long:)**

**Nellysh****: Thank you so much!**

**Guest:**** Thank you so much, I'm so happy you liked it. There will be backlash, some of it here but mostly later.**

**Chavi:**** Thanks for taking the time to leave such long and nice reviews. I'd say Ron hs matured a lot now and I hope you like what I've done with the characters here. I'd sau that is very close to what happens here, and I will try to make sure no one else dies:) Thank you again, your reviews were amazing and made me so happy!**

Chapter 14

Her eyes we wedged tightly together as the remnants of her sleep resided in her eye-lashes. Hermione found she was yawning as its force pushed her skull further into the pillow and she smiled to herself as she rolled over. Her bed was so warm and welcoming and…her bed? Squinting open her eyes, she caught a quick glance at the window showing a scene of muggle London that she was all too familiar with.

Unfortunately, the view wasn't the only familiar thing in the room. The feeling of a pressing weight on her mid-rift made her want to cry and scream at the same time. In joy or depression was the thing she hadn't worked out yet. Looking down, she saw exactly what she had expected to see. An arm, strewn casually across her stomach. Ron's arm.

"Oh, God." She exhaled unwillingly, "Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god."

As silently and quickly as possible, Hermione lifted the blanket up and took a surreptitious peek under in the small hopes that they would both be fully dressed. She let out a small squeak at her findings. Nope. They were definitely _not_ fully dressed.

"Oh, Gosh."

She reluctantly turned towards him, it seemed her desire to ensure he was still asleep and not witnessing her panic was stronger than her embarrassment. Thankfully, he was still sleeping soundly. She couldn't help but stare at the man in front of her. He looked peaceful and unguarded in his sleep. Like he wasn't trying to keep everyone out. He was lying on his stomach with his face looking at her in his sleep. His expression was relaxed, with his mouth slightly open and emitting soft snores. His vibrant hair was tousled and shone even brighter with the morning sun creeping through the window. She gently stroked the arm was holding her down as she relished in the moment.

Her memory of the night before, and how she got here, was slowly coming back to her. It was hazy, at best, but she could see what happened. She allowed herself to sigh as she thought of the repercussions it would have. They were both terribly drunk, so drunk that she honestly couldn't remember falling asleep. Placing her hand on her head, Hermione tried to remain calm. In all honesty, she was terrified of what was going to happen when Ron woke up. She was sure he would not take it well. If he actually remembered. He might have been drunker than her, she didn't know.

She jumped slightly when Ron's arm curled around her and he pulled her closer in her sleep. She smiled to herself and couldn't deny that, no matter how much this would mess everything up, she had woken up happy. She was at home, with Ron, and she had gotten a good night sleep. She didn't have any night terrors last night, or she didn't remember them anyway. Whether that was down to the alcohol or Ron she wasn't sure but she suspected the latter. She closed her eyes again and allowed herself the luxury and just _stopping_ and taking it all in. Finally, she felt like she was actually home. Being here was safe and familiar. This was exactly what she had longed for.

She was not a stupid girl, far from it, and yet she couldn't stop herself from hoping that this would be the thing that she and Ron needed to get it right. Last night had been amazing, she was sure although she didn't remember much, and the feeling of waking up here, literally in his arms, was healing. It made her feel that that last four years could be erased and she wouldn't ever have anything to worry about again. It was silly and naïve but Hermione felt hopeful for the first time in so long and she wasn't ready to sacrifice that yet. Never, if she could help it. She rested comfortably against him and thought that she would be perfectly content to just stay this way for hours.

She wasn't sure what would happen when Ron woke up and it scared her. While she knew that getting her hopes up was dangerous, she simply couldn't avoid it. She wanted this. She wanted this all of the time. She wanted to wake up this way every day and to be able to talk to Ron without fearing what he would say. She wished that things would just go back to the way they had been. Because she loved him. She was still completely in love with him and the revelation made her both ecstatic and miserable. Perhaps a small part of her had begun to doubt their relationship. In the last few weeks of isolation she had begun to think that maybe it wasn't as strong and perfect as she thought. She had tried to convince herself that maybe they didn't love each other anymore and it would be easy to move on from him. But she was wrong, so wrong.

It had been easy, dangerously easy, to fall back into Ron again. The feelings were obviously still there, but she already knew that, didn't she? She knew that, for her at least, there was no one else. She just didn't expect Ron to agree.

It hadn't quite sunk in though, to be honest. What they had done just seemed so…spontaneous? She didn't know how to describe the feeling but she felt like she was living someone else's life right now. A feeling which was further intensified due to the fact that she couldn't actually _remember,_ much, about what had happened. It was surreal, to say the least.

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

The loud and piercing sound caused Hermione to startle as she jumped in shock, even letting out a small, fearful gasp.

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

The sound drew her companion from his sleep too as Ron shot upwards immediately. He, however, seemed quite used to the noise and merely ran a hand through his hair. His face froze in shock, with his hand still stuck to his head, when his eyes landed on her. She was sitting up now, still panting from the shock of the noise, and had managed to wrap a bed sheet around herself.

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

Ron let out a noise that was somewhere between a strangled yelp and a cry as he immediately jumped up and out of the bed. At the last second, he remembered his state of undress and took one of the bed's blankets to cover him.

He stared at her for a moment, looking unsure of what was going on.

"Fuck."

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

"What are you doing here?" He exclaimed, "Shit."

Hermione rolled her eyes sarcastically to hide her nerves, "Well, I'm not here to water the plants."

The retort was out of her mouth before she could stop it and yet it did seem to wipe some of the incredulity out of Ron's face. He narrowed his eyes at her for the comment and threw her a sardonic _thanks-for-clearing-that-up_ face. His shocked look was slowly replaced with one of understanding and Hermione realised he was probably recalling the events of the previous night too.

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

The alarm was still ringing in their ears and Hermione was sure that the sound would begin to haunt her if it wasn't turned off soon.

"Crap. We…Oh, Merlin."

Hermione pulled the sheets tighter around her body as the embarrassment of the moment was beginning to dawn on her. She flushed and suddenly found a spot on the floor to stare intensely at. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she, for once, had no idea how to react to this situation.

_Bleep. Bleep-_

"For God's sake, can you turn off the alarm?" She snapped, the sound of it giving her a headache and certainly not helping the one she already had from all the alcohol.

Ron just rolled his eyes in annoyance,

"No, if you must know, I can't." Ron scowled back at her, "It's not even an alarm. It's an alert from work."

His sarcasm died away with the realisation that work was calling him. He quickly sped over to the direction of the sound and was, apparently, listening to something that she couldn't hear. Hermione ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes briefly to try and calm herself down.

She let out a yelp of surprise to find a patronus before her when she reopened her eyes. The silver fox was staring intently at her. Hermione flushed at the realisation that Nate would know where she was to send this.

Ron was now looking at the patronus with interest too,

"Who's that from - ?"

Hermione held up a hand to shush him for a second, a feeling of forbidding looming as she stared at the fox. Finally, it began to relay its message,

"Hermione," It spoke in Nate's voice, "You need to come in now, something's happened. I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning…Anyway; you really have to be here. It's _urgent._ It's bad, we need you here."

Hermione jumped up quickly, panicking at whatever was going on. A glance at the clock showed that it was 8:30am. What had happened? Urgent. That's what Nate said, and he would only use that word for a few select events. Had something else happened? Another murder? Or something worse, did one of her team get hurt or attacked?

She pushed these thoughts from her head. She reminded herself that speculation would do no good and what she _needed _to do was get there quickly.

"Who was that?" Ron demanded from the other side of the room.

Whatever call he got must've been urgent, too, for he was already pulling on the nearest clothes to him. Hermione frowned as she looked at her dress from last night. Frenzy filled her when she looked at it. She could hardly go to work in something like that but Nate had said it was _urgent_ so she didn't have time to go to Grimmauld Place and grab anything else.

Hermione sighed, "It was Nate. My partner at work."

Hermione transfigured the dress into one wearable to work. It was shabby looking because of her nerves but she supposed it would have to do. There'd be something to change into anyway if she had to go on a mission, she rationalised.

In the midst of putting on her shoes, Hermione felt something warm and furry brush past her leg. She let out a small scream with her frazzled nerves and prayed that it was not a rat. Looking down, she was shocked to see a tuff of familiar orange fur. She could only stare in shock as Crookshanks rubbed his head against her leg fondly.

She looked up to find Ron looking at the scene with the air of someone who had been exposed, his face was hard but the slight reddening of his ears revealed his true intentions.

"Ron, I -"

Ron cut her off immediately, "I have to go. So do you, apparently."

With a pop he was gone and Hermione could only stare at the spot he had just vacated. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she petted Crookshanks, briefly, but she knew that she couldn't stay here any longer either. Following his lead, Hermione disappeared into the air with a mix of emotions running through her veins.

oo00OO00oo

Hermione pushed forward with the clang of her heel reverberating off the walls. She was almost running to reach her department and had to shout out a few embarrassed apologies, after knocking over a few workers.

Walking into her work, she could feel the tension in the air and the usual comfort she got from work felt a million miles away. As she approached them, she could see the despairing faces of her team watching her. Her breath caught in her throat at their grief-stricken expressions. They were huddled together in a small group, looking lost and scared. For a half a second, Hermione just wanted to run away and not have to face whatever the latest tragedy was.

But she wouldn't do that, ever. She forced herself to keep going and to keep her fear at bay. As she neared them she realised that her earlier observation had been correct, the group was small. Too small. All too quickly she could see who was missing as she stopped in her tracks a few paces away from them.

No. No, this wasn't right. It couldn't be happening to them. Not again. Tears stung at her eyes, almost leaking over. A part of her tried to convince herself that maybe she was wrong. Maybe Ally was just running late.

But one glance at the sheer and utter devastation and desperation in Jonathan's face proved otherwise.

"Where's Ally?" She said, marching the last few steps towards them.

Jonathan turned away from the huddle. Beth tried to muffle a cry but they heard it all the same. The atmosphere was tense and unforgiving. Beth looked towards Jonathan with obvious concern. Hermione nodded at her to comfort her partner. The other four watched in uncomfortable sadness as the pair walked to the staff room.

Hermione couldn't imagine what Jonathan was going through right now. Honestly, she hoped she would never be able to.

Turning to Nate, Hermione asked him silently to provide her with information.

Nate took a deep breath before divulging the information,

"We have no idea what happened," He said, "Basically. Ally didn't turn up at the ball at all last night. Jonathan went to her flat to see what was wrong, he stayed for a good while but there was no answer at the door. Neighbours saw two men entering the place, no one leaving. That's all we've got."

Hermione closed her eyes as the safety they had all been feeling fell away with those few seconds. Everything was about to come crashing down around them. Again. She could feel it.

"And you spoke to her family? She isn't with them?" Hermione asked as a formality.

Jake shook his head, "I went over there first thing, a few hours ago when Jonathan came to me. They haven't seen her. They're worried, Hermione. They say that she doesn't go anywhere anymore without telling them first…obviously because of what happened last time."

"When was the last time anyone saw her?" She inquired.

Jake rubbed the back of his neck impatiently, "I spoke to her yesterday, at about 6pm. She was…she was fine, Hermione. She was getting ready for the ball."

Hermione swallowed loudly but forced herself to remain calm and controlled. They needed her now. Ally needed them all. She had to be a leader, force herself to get the facts. She needed to remain firm now, be in command, and to take action. It was becoming more and more apparent that something terrible had happened. If Ally was getting ready for the party, she would not have changed her mind.

Unless, she was forced to.

"How long have you all been here?"

Martin looked up, "Only about half an hour, officially. We haven't got much done in terms of an investigation. Jonathan realised something was really wrong and about seven this morning when she didn't show up and no one heard from her. He went to Jake's. Then they raised the alarm."

She nodded as her brain began whirling to remember their procedure for events like this. Why did everything suddenly leave her mind at the moment she needed them most.

"We _have _to find her." Jake said in an unusually emotional voice.

Hermione felt a wave of sympathy for Jake. She was well aware of how fond they all were on their partners. It was only natural to form a special bond with the only person who had the exact same experiences as you. Unfortunately, she knew all too well the feeling of anger and bitterness that Jake was feeling. She had been in the same situation before with Nate and it was one of the hardest things she ever had to deal with. The waiting. The complete loss of control. The unknown. It was unbearable.

"Yeah, of course we will." Martin smiled compassionately, slapping Jake on the shoulder.

The pair turned back to her, both nodding for her to continue.

"Right," She coughed, "Well, we will need to get to her flat. I don't know how much we will find out but it's important. Ally's smart, she might have got time for leaving some kind of clue…I don't know. And the, er, traces. Nate, you would be able to recognise some of them, right?"

Nate looked unsure, "You think it's the same person? The murderer and the one who sent the letter? You think they're doing this?"

Her gut was telling her it was the same person. She so rarely went on her instincts but she rarely had an instinct so strong either. She was positive that these were all related. How could they possibly not be?

"Yes, I do, Nate. Even if it isn't the same person, it's the only suspect we have right now." Hermione said quickly.

She wondered how long they had been gathered around talking and could not help but feel that it was much too long. A glance at her watch proved that it had only been a few minutes, not the hours it felt like but it done nothing to quell her nerves.

"Hermione," Martin said, "Kingsley's already been in, he says that we have the aurors."

Hermione looked at him, not understanding, "What?"

"They were all called in," He explained, "After we told the Minister what happened. For extra numbers and such. He says we should work together with something so important,"

Hermione slowly connected this information to the summons Ron had gotten only a short while ago.

Jake snorted, "Sure, let's _finally_ give us more help. Just because he doesn't want an employee to die under his watch."

Martin looked at him sternly, causing Jake to look a little ashamed of himself.

"Of course he doesn't want an employee to die, none of us do. And I would have thought you, of all people, would be grateful for as many resources as possible." He reprimanded gently.

Jake looked thunderous but held his tongue. His bitterness against the ministry was deep-rooted and obvious for all. As was Martin's understanding and respect for his former friend, Kingsley. A matter which had caused many arguments between the pair. _Agree to disagree_ could only work for so long.

Whatever response Jake was about to give was halted by the return of Jonathan and Beth. They both looked upset and Hermione suddenly found the atmosphere awkward. No one knew what to say to Jonathan and the look of hopelessness on his face was a sharp reminder of the pain they could be facing if they didn't handle this correctly. They had been in this situation before and the truth of the matter was that it so rarely ended well. And they all knew it. The chances of finding Ally were diminishing by the second. The chances of finding Ally alive and well were next to nothing at the moment.

Beads of sweat worked their way onto the back of Hermione's neck. The pressure on her was prominent and a familiar weight seemed to rest on her shoulders. Responsibility was an awful thing and to have something so _important_ in her control was, simply, terrifying.

"What's the plan?" Jonathan asked gruffly.

Beth rubbed circles on his back comfortingly but he barely seemed to notice.

"Well, we have to go to Ally's place and see what we can find," Hermione said, trying to act indifferent to the matter at hand, "It's the only thing we can do at the moment, then-"

"What about the Trigger?" Jonathan interrupted demandingly.

Hermione paused for a second, her mind going over the latest possibility. The Trigger was Jonathan and Martin's invention. They were basically portkeys. Matching portkeys, one had the ability to transport the other portkey the location it was at, when triggered. Hence the name. They were only useful to a certain degree because the person had to actually trigger it.

Nate looked doubtful, "Jonathan, I don't wear mine now. The chances of her having it-"

"She does." Jonathan pressed, almost madly, "I _know_ she does. We…w – I made her promise…to always wear it. In case…in case something h-happened. I-I have the other one."

A moment of silence passed between them. A silence in which no one knew how to fill. The guilt was all too noticeable in Jonathan's heartfelt words. The lump in Hermione's throat got bigger and she wondered how they were possibly expected to handle this. Jonathan's words just pointed out exactly what was at stake here. This wasn't just a possibly tragedy. This wasn't just some young girl who would have her life snatched from her. This wasn't another faceless 21 year old girl that they read about on the news.

This was a girl who they had all watched mature from an insecure teenager to a beautiful young woman. This was the girl had already lost so much to these monsters. Her youth, her innocence and her family. This was a girl who sacrificed everything she had for the safety of their world.

But she was _more _than that. She was the girl who fell in love with a man almost ten years older than her. She was the girl who used to cook most of their meals. She was the one who was always there and offered a shoulder to cry on. She was the quiet one who observed everything. She was the one who predicted Nate and Beth. She was the one who Hermione vowed to protect. She was the one who cast silencing charms on them when they wouldn't stop arguing.

She had such heart and compassion. Even after everything, she was able to smile more than any of them. She was their friend. Like a younger sibling.

A lone tear threatened to spill but Hermione refused to allow it to fall. They would not let Ally become another victim of this. She would not let Ally become another casualty. But Hermione wasn't stupid. There was a reason why this hit them all so hard. It was because they knew their enemy all too well. They would not mess about. If they wanted Ally dead, she would be.

It seemed, sometimes, that the world was determined to take away every trace of happiness they had. Because Ally was the one who showed the most promise. She was young and capable enough to be able to fight her way through. She had so much to live for. Hermione had always believed that Ally would be able to get past what she went through.

"Jonathan," Beth began patiently and gently, "She would have…she would have to be able to, to activate it. She might be – maybe she can't."

Hermione briefly shut her eyes. The implication of Beth's words hung in the air. No one wanted to confirm her point yet they all knew the reality.

"She just means that we can't afford to put all of our hopes onto that." Martin sighed as he looked at Jonathan with kindness.

Jonathan pursed his lips in annoyance and Hermione wondered what gave him such confidence that Ally would use the Trigger. She was unsurprised when they all looked to her for a decision but it still made her uncomfortable.

Jonathan gave her a look that clearly said _follow-up-on-this-or-I-will _and it was enough to make up her mind.

"Ok," Hermione relented, rubbing her temples, "This is the plan-"

Hermione was cut off by the sounds of footsteps approaching. She watched in surprise as about twenty aurors filed into their department. The walked together in a crowd and many looked unsure about being there. Harry and Ron were standing near the front with their department head. They looked nervous and slightly worried.

"Yes?" Hermione said to Reynolds.

The aurors made themselves comfortable, pulling up chairs alongside her team and giving Hermione the distinct feeling of being a teacher at school. Reynolds approached her and, with a nod to her team, pulled her aside to speak to her.

"Miss Granger, right?" He asked, "The Minister spoke with us a little while ago and asked that we work together with this, you were informed?"

"Yes," Hermione nodded, "Thank you. You know what happened?"

Reynolds let out a breathy laugh and shook his head, "No, not really. We were only called in about fifteen minutes ago. We gathered that there's been a development in your case?"

"One out of my department had been reported missing. We suspect by the same people responsible for the recent murders in the last few days." Hermione said strongly.

Reynolds nodded and Hermione could detect a small trace of sympathy in the irises of his eyes.

"Very well, I suppose we can offer a good amount of assistance," He stated, "We have a few specialists of the matter of kidnapping and the procedure that should be used."

Hermione nodded carefully but worry lined her features,

"It almost always works." He said compassionately while patting her awkwardly on her shoulder.

"Of course," Hermione said, offering a strained smile, "We also have a possible means of tracking her but we aren't sure how well it will pan out yet."

Reynolds looked surprised and mildly impressed. He gestured for her to talk to the people gathered. Hermione understood this to mean that she had to brief them.

The presence of the aurors comforted her. It gave her the feeling that all would be done to find Ally. Their resources were better and, in all honestly, they had much more experience with the matter of an unknown enemy.

Hermione and her team may have had plenty of hostage situations and kidnappings over the last four years but that was when they knew where their enemy worked from. They knew where to find them and who were responsible. This was different. It was so much more intimidating and Hermione found herself praying that Jonathan's plan worked because if it didn't, what else was there?

Hermione looked over the eager faces of the aurors and felt a little but more confident. She could see Harry staring at her, and when he realised she noticed he nodded comfortingly. She could see the empathy in his gaze and she realised that Harry probably knew exactly what this felt like. Over the years, an auror was bound to have gone missing.

She could feel Ron's gaze on her but she dared not look in his direction. She had no idea where they stood and she felt very exposed in front of him now. She wouldn't lie, as she looked around at the people before her she felt very uncomfortable. It was one thing to direct and give orders to your employees; it was completely different to direct your friends.

She nodded for her team to take seats amongst the aurors and she threw an apologetic look at Jonathan who had already begun to fidget. The wait was obviously getting to him.

Finally, holding her hands together and placing them on her stomach so that she wouldn't fiddle, Hermione took and deep breathe and focused on those in front of her. She was determined now.

"Ok," She began steadily, "Sometime between around 6:30 last night and 7 this morning, Ally Jones was taken from her flat in London. She is 21 years old and has worked for the Prevention of Potential Travesties Department for more than four years – the beginning."

Smoothly, she conjured Ally's work photo and made light work of duplicating it. She passed them along to the aurors and watched as they familiarised themselves with Ally's image,

"We believe that she was kidnapped," Hermione continued, "By the same people responsible for the recent murders where the victims were killed with the suffocating spell. The spell developed by those that my department have been tracking."

She could feel the eyes of Ron and Harry rooting her to the spot. They stared with obvious interest and Hermione knew that they were looking for any opportunity to discover what had happened in her time away. If she were being honest, she had always wanted to keep it from her boys. It wouldn't do them any good and the less they knew the better. Especially with someone threatening all who were involved right now.

But she didn't have a choice. Kingsley had warranted the aurors being told the previously classified information and she no longer had a legitimate reason to keep this from them. And Ally was her highest priority right now so if she had to reveal this to help Ally, then she would.

"We have no major leads on who that person may be, although we have recently discovered that the killer of the first victim, Ellie Mathewson, was the second victim, Dominic Mason." She revealed, "Mason was a member of the group we were following. Located in France, they were responsible for multiple killings using the suffocation spell. It seems likely that there is more than one person involved now. Possibly, Mason was ordered to kill Ellie Mathewson and then killed by his own people. However, the only people who knew the spell were supposedly killed in an explosion a couple of months ago. There were no survivors and all bodies were found. We are now considering the possibility that, somehow, at least a few people made it out of the explosion without detection."

The room was silent, with everyone hanging on every word of the twisted tale. Every eye was focused on her, even her friends who already knew this. The sounds of workers continuing their routines outside the department reached her ears but it felt like the world had stopped outside this room.

She glanced over at her team as she quickly went over her plan in her head. They could not afford to lose anytime now and with the aurors boosting their numbers, now would be the best time to strike. But it was so hard to put them all back in this place again. They had to fight again.

"We have a portkey which connects to one that Ally Jones will be wearing," Hermione informed them seriously, "If activated, Miss Jones' portkey will send a signal to our one, causing our portkey to be summoned to hers. Therefore, taking us to her location."

Hermione could see the impressed faces of the aurors. The spell that Jonathan and Martin created for the portkeys was very complex and unique. It had never been tried before in England. Before Jonathan had signed up to the Prevention Department he had been working on something similar in America. It had taken a long time but the pair had managed to get the spell functional.

"That's a very impressive device." Reynolds commented, raising his eyebrows and looking at Martin knowingly.

Hermione almost smiled at the man being able to make the connection so quickly. She had forgotten that Martin would have worked for Reynolds before he worked for her. It was nice to see that Martin was already so highly acclaimed in his work in creating spells. He had told them that he worked, mostly, on developing equipment for aurors. It was his specialty.

"Martin and Jonathan," She gestured to them, "Came up with the idea a few years ago and have been working on perfecting the idea. The main problem, though, is that the portkey will have to be activated. And, the reality is, it may not be possible for her to do so."

The group shared grim looks and Reynolds nodded at Hermione in understanding.

"I am sure she will activate it." Jonathan said suddenly.

Hermione heart broke at the sight of him. He was glaring at them all, as if daring them to contradict him, but she could see the shaking of his hands. Hermione knew that he wanted to remain optimistic and hopeful. She just hoped it wouldn't be in vain.

Reynolds walked forward to address the group and Hermione felt odd having someone else leading too. She was so used to being the only one to make a final judgement. Sure, she usually got advice and took on ideas but, when it came down to it; it was her that the responsibility lay with.

"This looks very promising at the moment," He said loudly, "We are at a very early and crucial stage of the investigation and we have a possible way of tracking them. However, it is important that we also keep our options open and collect all the information that we can in these early stages. I suggest that a few of you travel to Miss Jones' home and collect as much data as we possibly can. Speak to neighbours; look at traces, that kind of thing. Travers, Finnegan, Davies and Jefferson – I want you to head to her place. You know your areas. Report back as soon as possible."

He turned towards Hermione,

"Would you like to send some of your department?"

Hermione nodded immediately, "Yes, we were discussing this earlier. Martin and Beth will go."

The pair quickly joined the group of aurors heading to Ally's. Hermione had relented in her rule that partners always work together for once. She knew neither Jonathan nor Jake would leave to collect clues in case the portkeys were activated. She would stay to lead and having Nate remain behind would be calming for all. Nate would be the voice of reason judging by the state Jonathan and Jake were in. It was a weird thought.

As the group disappeared, Hermione noted that Harry and Ron remained too. It comforted her, in a selfish way, to know that if the portkey were to be activated; then they would be there with her.

Nate came up to stand beside her,

"I hate this part." He whispered sadly.

With a caring look in Jonathan and Jake's direction, Hermione could not help but agree. This was certainly the worst part. The feeling of being completely useless.

All they could do was wait.

_I'm not a fortune teller, I won't be bringing news_

_Of what tomorrow brings, I'll leave that up to you_

_I'm not a fortune teller, don't have a crystal ball_

_I can't predict the future, can't see nothing at all_

_It doesn't mean I'm afraid of all the things that you say_

_But I just think we should stay stuck in the moment today_

_And as the seasons roll by, no matter how hard I try_

_Summer will end and the leaves will turn again_

_I don't know why you're acting like this_

_I don't know why you had to do it again_

_Why'd you have to go and ruin the night_

_Don't worry about tomorrow's mess_

_I never know how the future will go_

_I don't know what to tell you, I'm not a fortune teller_

_I'll never change, but I want you to stay_

_I don't know what to tell you, I'm not a fortune teller_

_Fortune Teller, Maroon 5_


	16. Chapter 15

**Ok, so I am really sorry for how this chapter turned out. It's a little rushed and I'm not happy with it but I thought it was better than having no update for another week. Basically, I only started this chapter at 10pm tonight and I am going away at 3am in the morning for a week so I've been rushing to try and get an update in. Sorry, but hopefully it isn't completely awful.**

**On another and much happier note, I got nominated for an Energize W.I.P Award for this story. It's amazing and I was so shocked. So thank you very, very much to whichever of you who nominated me. I am so grateful/ If anyone is interested in voting, you must vote from 13****th**** to the 20****th**** (I think, not sure on the closing date)of July. Use this link but replace the * with .**

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**Responses to Reviews:**

**Tdfinchel****: Thank you so much. It's amazing to hear that people are enjoying my story. A lot more action coming up now and R/Hr interactions will increase too.**

**Chavi****: Thanks! I was worried about the morning after part because I had no idea what way to write it. A small amount of those moments in this chapter, I think. It is such an incredible comment to hear that you have read a chapter again. Honestly, your reviews always make me smile. They are lovely. I included a good dose of Ron's POV here for you but I don't think it's a very good chapter. I really am delighted that you are enjoying my fic:)**

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**Jo:**** Thank you:) There's a lot of working together in this chapter so I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for much for always taking the time to review too.**

Chapter 15

Ron fisted his hands tightly to prevent himself from snapping at Seamus whose repetitive tapping was long past the point of annoying and had reached the status of bloody infuriating. Throwing his friend a cross look before adjusting in his chair. It was very hard and uncomfortable due to the endless couple of hours being forced to remain in it.

He could see already that nerves were becoming more frazzled and tempers were becoming shorter, including his own. They had been stuck in the same, rather crammed room, for hours now with nothing to do. If it had been auror headquarters they were waiting in, then there would be something to do to entertain themselves but they could hardly make themselves at home in someone else's room.

Not to mention the thick layer of tension between the non-aurors (as Ron had taken to calling them in his head). Ron didn't envy what they were going through right now. It wasn't easy to have a member of your team in danger. It made everything much more personal.

The hushed whispers about a Quidditch game reached his ears and he wished that he could inform his co-workers that they were receiving some very harsh glares from Hermione's workers. Jake something was looking particularly angry while the other one, whose name Ron didn't know, just looked devastated.

The only other one of them in the room was talking to Hermione. As much as he didn't want to, Ron had found himself watching their movements very carefully in the last few hours. They were sitting alongside each other and continually engaged in conversation. He would have suspected something to be happening between the pair had there not been expressions of such fear and worry on both their faces. It made him feel a little childish for paying their body language so much attention when there was so much more going on.

Honestly though, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about this morning at all. It was such a surreal experience. He had slept with Hermione. He had no idea what he had been thinking. It was an awful idea and now he was paying for it. Nothing could be more awkward than sitting in a room with the girl you slept with the night before. Add onto that that said girl was your ex-fiancé and that one of her friends had been kidnapped. Ron struggled to think of a situation that could be worse.

It wasn't what they done that was making him feel so…confused. It was how they were meant to act now. Did she think they were going to get back together or did she never want to mention it again? Did he want to get back together with her?

He knew that he most of him wanted to be with her. Of course he did, she was Hermione after all. No one else seemed to ever compare, no matter how much he tried. But he couldn't pretend that he would be able to accept what had happened right now. Would he ever be able to? He had no clue. Last night had been amazing; he didn't have to think about anything. He didn't think about what would happen now, he didn't think about what had already passed. He had just allowed himself _one _night of freedom. Of losing all his inhibitions and just going after what he wanted.

But that couldn't work, not in the real world.

It was the real world that Ron had been living in for the past four years. And it was cruel. As much as he longed to, Ron knew that he wouldn't be able to pretend that it never happened. It did happen and it was something that they would have to deal with.

He was still angry. Furious. Well, maybe not. It was more like being…aware? Aware of what it felt like to go through that. He wanted to move on. He really did. It would be so easy if all he was feeling right now was gratefulness that she was ok. And a huge part of him was feeling like that. But there was so much hurt that it was hard to see past it. It hurt even now, to look at her and see that things had changed and he hadn't been there. He knew that he couldn't move on while he remained so fixed on her. But, at the same time, they couldn't move on when this department stood between them.

Hermione was obviously still caught up in whatever was happening. He wanted to be able to help her. To be able to protect her and to be there for her when she needed him. But she didn't. She was in charge here. It was weird to see. She was so effortlessly the leader and it was her making all the calls. And she didn't need to lean on him for anything.

As childish as it seemed, Ron couldn't help but feel replaced and useless the more that he sat here. He could tell that she was upset, only putting on a brave face for her employees, but she didn't look to him for comfort. He was so used to being the only person that she turned to for help and advice that she couldn't help but feel sort of empty now that she had so many others. By the looks of it, she was perfectly content talking to that same guy while they waited.

That wasn't to say there weren't a few awkward moments. Ron's ears burned particularly vibrantly when Hermione turned and found him looking at her. It was a weird moment when neither knew whether to acknowledge the other. In the end up, Hermione had given him a small smile with flushed cheeks while he just nodded. He had also caught her staring at him a few times. Although he just pretended he didn't notice.

Things would be so much easier if he hadn't slept with her. Then he could just pretend to hate her without having to deal with any of this.

He was torn quickly from his musings when the tattered bracelet on the desk to his left began to glow.

Ron quickly jumped up. Anticipation filled him up as the room began to move. The effect of the portkey was immediate,

"The portkey!" Hermione exclaimed and he could hear the relief in her voice, "Ok, everyone join up somehow."

Briskly, aurors and non-aurors alike followed her orders and linked onto one another. Ron found himself grasping onto Harry's shoulder with Seamus practically holding his hand. Supressing a smirk at the odd situation, he focused on the person speaking.

"Quickly," The depressed looking one said, "We have a few minutes and then this will be finished linking with Ally's device so it can take us to her."

Ron watched the man with interest. It wasn't hard to guess the man's relationship with the missing girl. He had remained silent and forlorn for most of the morning. But now, Ron could see the spark and intelligence in his eyes. The look of determination on his face had been a constant all morning but it was now teamed with a look of hope.

Ron was shocked to realise that this man could intimidating while in this frame of mind. He had seemed like the smart person of the group. The one who came up with ideas and then watched as everyone carried through with the action. Maybe it was the fact that his loved one was gone but he seemed to have undergone a transformation.

Looking around at the rest of the non-aurors, he noticed that they all seemed extremely focused right now. They looked like a force to be reckoned with, for once, which was not something Ron had ever picked up on before. The only thing Ron had ever noticed about the Prevention Department previously was that they seemed to be unsure of what they were supposed to do. They took over case yet they seemed shy about doing so.

But now, they looked like they were serious. Now, he could see a group that spent the last four years fighting a dark wizard. They had an air of experience about them that no one got from training. It was the same thing people had always commented on about himself and Harry. They looked like they knew what was coming and that they had no choice but to be ready for it. Grudgingly, he had to admit that he respected them.

At that moment, the changes in Hermione had never been more apparent to him. She was so different now. The things that made her, well, Hermione were still the same. The fundamental elements of herself. Like her eyes or her hair's texture. The way she talked to him, the way she made him feel and the way she could boss people around. But whatever happened had twisted these things. She wasn't bossing people to do homework or paint to walls but to save someone's life. She may look the same but she was haunted. Not anymore than how she was after the war but it felt worse to Ron. During the war he had been there with her. He knew what she was dreaming of when she awoke screaming. He knew how to comfort her. He knew where all of her scars had come from.

But last night, he had discovered many more scars that he hadn't thought to comment on in his alcohol-clouded mind. Yet now, they were all he could think about.

Ron looked up at the sound of his boss' voice,

"What's the plan, Granger?"

Hermione looked thoroughly shocked at being asked to give the orders by the older man. Ron knew her well enough to know that this was out of respect to Reynolds. She obviously felt that he was above her and that she shouldn't be given so much control. But she did look happy to be the one to take control. He could understand the feeling all too well. When it was something that you were personally involved in it is always nice to be able to handle it in your own way.

"Well, the main aim is to get to Ally," Hermione began, "Once we arrive, we will need to do a quick scout of the place. Look for a way in without being noticeable. The second that any of these people know we are there, they will be come. Anti-apparation wards will be necessary."

Reynolds nodded at her before asking his next question,

"How do you want to split up the teams?"

Hermione pondered his question for all of a second before her quick mind came to her aid,

"Let's split the roles up and have certain groups carrying through each task," She spoke confidently, "Mix up both departments and organise according to whose skill suit what area."

Harry turned around slowly to look at him,

"It's weird, seeing her like this isn't it?" He whispered to Ron, "Seeing her working."

Ron nodded and was relieved that he was not the only one to notice. For all of Hermione's confidence, she had never been able to lead a group of people like this. She had formed the DA yet insisted that Harry be in charge. She used to shake or fiddle with her hands when addressing so many people. She did it anyway, of course, to stand up for what she believed in but not in this manner.

Now, she was so calm and in control. Confident. She had no issue with commanding all of these people. But at the same time, she had lost all of the confidence in who she was. Hermione, before, knew exactly what she represented. She knew what she wanted, she knew who to get it and she knew her identity. But this woman didn't. He could see that even last night. She was sure of her role in her team but she had completely lost track of her life.

"Ok, we only have a couple of seconds left," Hermione called clearly from her position beside her friend, "Everyone ensure you are holding on."

oo00OO00oo

Hermione crept quietly along the outskirts of the house. She watched the windows carefully for any passing silhouettes but it appeared empty. She frowned at the lack of life in the house. It hardly seemed like a place that Ally was being kept hostage.

She jumped slightly when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Harry peering at her and pointing his head in the direction of someone behind him. Looking back, she could see Jonathan gesturing to her and looking like he had been trying to get her attention for quite a while.

After glancing around quickly to ensure there were no enemies lurking around, Hermione nodded for him to speak,

"Don't you think we should be going in now?" He whispered fiercly, an edge to his voice.

Hermione frowned; bringing Jonathan with them was not the best way to carry out the mission. He was in her team because they were going to be the ones searching directly for Ally. His skills would have been more suited to casting the anti-apparation wards up around the area but it was pointless to argue with him. He had, understandably, thrown a fit when it was suggested he wait for someone else to find her. Reluctantly, Hermione had allowed him to come with her. But now, Hermione could appreciate why people were generally not supposed to work on cases with such personal meaning.

Jonathan was ready to burst into the house and find Ally immediately without thinking about the lives of the people around him. Hermione loved Ally dearly but she knew that this would not work unless they had some kind of plan. Yes, the main aim was to find Ally and by bursting in now they probably would but Hermione also wanted to ensure that they knew what they were getting themselves in for.

"Jonathan," Hermione began as patiently as she could, "We have to wait-"

"For what?" Jonathan demanded angrily.

Harry looked at him sharply, "Keep your voice down, mate."

"I am not you're _mate_," Jonathan snapped, "I think we have done enough waiting! She could be hurt, Hermione!"

Hermione closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath in an attempt to keep hold of her composure and to keep the thought of harm coming to Ally from out of her mind.

"I know that," Hermione said calmly, "But we would risk them moving her immediately if we launch an obvious attack before all the wards are up."

"Well, when will all the wards be up?" He said haughtily.

Hermione willed herself to remember that he was in a lot of pain right now. He was going through an emotional agony and such was the reason he had forgotten all their procedures and was acting like a petulant child.

"Hard to say," Seamus muttered from behind Jonathan, "We've only been here a couple of minutes. It normally takes between five and ten, depending on how good the casters are."

Jonathan fell silent, unable to argue with the logic anymore. The look of worry of his face was enough for Hermione to throw him a reassuring smile which he only returned half-heartedly. No one could blame him; really, it was an awful situation to be placed in. Hermione only prayed that she would never know exactly what he was going through.

A rustling behind them drew their attention and the four spun around to face the noise. Instantaneously, they drew their wands and pointed them in the direction of the sound.

Hermione didn't know whether to be relieved or irritated when it was Ron who appeared behind them,

"What happened?" Harry asked straight away, alerting Hermione to the fact that Ron was supposed to be on the other side if the house.

"Are the wards up?" Jonathan questioned urgently before Ron could answer Harry's question.

"Yes," Ron relented, "But-"

"Let's go!" Jonathan interrupted.

"Listen to him, Jonathan!"

Hermione looked at him sharply before turning her attention back to Ron, whose eyes were fixed sorely on hers,

"There's only one person there."

Hermione recoiled in shock. How was that possible? Was it Ally? Or did they already discover the presence of Hermione and the aurors?

"No way," Seamus said incredulously, "No group would leave only one person at a base."

"Unless the person's dead." Harry muttered grimly.

Hermione's hands shook slightly at the thought and she could see Jonathan about to swing for Harry. She shook her head. Harry was only doing his job. They would have to be practical here. There was no point in wishing for one outcome so much that they ignored all possibilities of another.

"How do you know?" Hermione said, addressing Ron.

"We cast _Homenum Revelio_," he explained quietly, "to see how many we would have to launch an attack against. There's definitely only one person there, Hermione."

"Maybe the Trigger was wrong." Seamus suggested doubtfully.

"No, no," Jonathan muttered, "This one always works."

Harry looked unsure, "Well, it can't be a trick so maybe we need to just go on in. At least we know there's no army waiting for us."

Hermione nodded, "Right, let's just go in the nearest door. Wands out and ready."

"I'm coming with you lot." Ron said suddenly.

Hermione nodded, and then pointed towards the door she could see.

As they approached, Hermione was surprised and unsettled to find they met no obstacles. Seamus unlocked the door with a simple unlocking spell. The one Hermione could perform in first year. This only served to deepen her unease further.

The room they crowded into was a grand hall. It had a foyer overlooking it which was met with two staircases that ran along each side of the room. The large chandelier was expensive and grand looking and the bronze colour matched perfectly to the rug in the centre of the room. Yet it was the figure on the rug that drew all of their attention.

"Ally!" Jonathan shouted, racing towards her.

Hermione followed him as he collapsed to the ground beside his beloved. She couldn't move though. She was frozen in shock at the sight of the blood pooling from the girl's stomach and head. She didn't open her eyes at her sound but he hand was grasping Jonathan's tightly.

"I'm here… 'm here, I promise." Jonathan half-sobbed, "I-I'm not going anywhere."

"They're gone." She choked out before dissolving into coughs.

Hermione pushed away her tears,

"Can-can someone get a medi-witch?" She asked carefully

oo00OO00oo

They were the only two left now. An awkward string had begun with neither wanting to be the one to break the unbearable silence. Neither wanting to face up to the reality. But Ron knew that this couldn't go on. What they had done needed to be spoken about. No matter how weird it was.

He just didn't know what he was supposed to say. He was confused, not knowing how to express what he had to say. He knew that, for a few seconds, when he woke up he had felt so at peace. A feeling of calm that he hadn't felt since before. But, contrary to common belief, he was not an idiot. He knew that what they done would only add to their problems instead of solving them.

He sat down on a chair opposite hers and looked her carefully in the eye.

"I think we need to talk." Ron said eventually.

Skirting around the issue would do them no good now. Best to get it over with.

Hermione blushed slightly, "I'd say so."

He offered her a small smile in return but he wasn't sure how well it turned out.

His palms were sweaty, his heart was pounding and he could practically feel his ears burning. Merlin, he hadn't been this nervous since he proposed to her. The irony wasn't lost on him.

"How're your friends?" He asked suddenly, feeling that he ought to.

"Oh, well, Ally's doing better." Hermione smiled sadly, "She's stable now but they'll know more later. Jonathan's with her though."

Ron nodded in understanding. He was shocked to find himself feeling very relieved that they were both ok. The silence was thick between them now with their small talk over. He knew what needed to be done but he just didn't want to,

He wanted to just enjoy these last few moments of pretending that they had nothing else on their minds. Nothing that needed to be talked about. It would be great if the night before had solved all their problems but Ron honestly thought it made them worse.

After last night, he couldn't pretend that he didn't miss her. That he didn't want her. And it made it so much harder to do what he knew that he had to.

"Ron, I-"

"Hermione, listen-"

They both looked at each other in embarrassment before laughing awkwardly,

"You go first," Hermione said graciously, with a wave of her hand.

He looked at her sadly before saying what needed to be said,

"I think we need to talk about last night." He said, "No, not just last night. Us. All of it."

He could see her gulp slightly but she met his eyes determinedly. His heart gave an odd little lurch at the sight but he refused to be drawn in. Why did she seem so like his Hermione now when he had spent all day convincing himself that she was a different woman?

"Right." She said simply, obviously waiting for him to lead the conversation.

"I just – we shouldn't have…what I mean to say is that," Ron sucked in a breath, "It was a mistake. We should not have done that."

He saw he face fall and immediately wished that he could take back the words. He didn't want to hurt her anymore. He didn't want her to hurt him anymore. He wanted them to stop hurting each other like they did. They were toxic.

"A mistake?" Hermione repeated softly.

Ron ignored the parts of himself that were screaming for him to stop this. It might hurt now but this had to be done. He was sure of it. They weren't kids anymore and they couldn't continue the way they had been. This was the mature way to handle the situation. No matter how much it hurt.

"Hermione, there's too much between us." He tried to explain gently, "We haven't talked about anything. Bloody hell, we are adults. We can't just sleep with each other and pretend that everything else didn't happen."

"We're talking now, aren't we?" Hermione objected half-heartedly

Ron smiled slightly, "Yeah, but you know what I mean. We just…we aren't the same anymore, Hermione. We aren't the same people that used to work."

"I'm not the girl that you love anymore, you mean." Hermione said harshly with a familiar spark of anger in her eyes.

Ron fought down the urge to remind her that it was self-inflicted. He would have to keep his temper in check, just this one.

"We're both different, Hermione." He said firmly, "And you know that too. We don't really…know each other anymore. It's – well it's easy to sleep with each other and pretend like all of…all of this mess hasn't happened. To pretend like we are, like we are the people we used to be."

Hermione was looking at him intently and he could see the unmasked hurt in her eyes. He knew that it wasn't nice to hear. Hell, it wasn't nice to say.

"So that's it?" Hermione said bravely, "We're just…we're finished?"

It cut him to hear it like that. To hear the words from her mouth. All he wanted to do was tell her no, that they could try and that he loved her. But he just couldn't. She was different. He was different. They were strangers. Today had only proven that.

"I-I think so," He said thickly, "At least for – I just…you left, Hermione and I don't know how we can get past that. I can't get past that right now.

He could see tears form in her eyes for the first time but she quickly blinked them away. They watched each other for a while. Nothing more to say but unable to turn away. Ron sighed resignedly, getting up off the chair he was on. When he was standing, he walked forwards to her chair. Gently, he took hold on her hand and gave it a small squeeze. She looked up at him with moist eyes and offered him a per functionary smile.

He forced himself to walk away, knowing that neither of them wanted him to. But it was what they _needed._

_The walls between_

_You and I_

_Always pushing us apart nothing left but scars fight after fight_

_The space between_

_Our calm and rage_

_started growing shorter , disappearing slowly day after day_

_I was sitting there waiting in my room for you_

_You were waiting for me too_

_And it makes me wonder_

_The older I get_

_Will I get over it_

_It's been way too long for the times we missed_

_I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think_

_The older I get_

_Maybe I'll get over it_

_It's been way too long for the times we missed_

_I can't believe it still hurts like this_

_The time between_

_Those cutting words_

_Built up our defences never made no sense it just made me hurt_

_Do you believe_

_That time heals all wounds_

_It started getting better but it's easy not to fight when I'm not with you_

_I should've weathered the storm_

_I need to say so bad_

_What were you waiting for_

_This could have been the best we ever had_

_I'm just getting older_

_I'm not getting over you I'm trying to_

_I wish it didn't hurt like this_

_It's been way too long for the times we missed_

_I can't believe it still hurts like this_


End file.
